Anyone Know Any Blonde Jokes!?

Question

Blonde Jokes?????

Answer 1

Here are a few of my favorite ones:


Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo!!! Can you see Florida......?????"

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK

There' s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!"...... "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So w hat? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each
other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot!
You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A blonde girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, " Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde.
"They're watch dogs!"

Answer 2

An intelligent lawyer walks onto a plane and sees a blonde woman in the seat next to his. He slowly sits down beside her with a charming smile.

The blonde not budging, her eyes closed and head leaning against the window didn't even look up.

The lawyer taps her on the shoulder. Annoyed she opens her eyes and looks at the lawyer as if to ask, :"What?"

He smiles and asks her if she'd like to play a game. She declines telling him she really is very tired and has no desire to play a game with him. She closes her eyes and tries to sleep again.

Thinking, he taps her again and asks, "How would you like to make $500.00?"

She still declines.

The lawyer insists since his IQ was highest in his firm, "Whoever guesses the correct answer to the other ones question will win $500. However, if you don't know the answer you only have to pay me $5 and I'll give you $500 if I don't know the answer to yours. Sound good?"

The blonde sighs, but finally agrees to pay.

"What is the distance to Mars, from Earth?" asks the lawyer.

Without saying a word the blonde reaches in her purse and hands the lawyer $5.

She pauses then asks, "What has 4 arms, 3 legs, black, red and purple and rolls backwards UP a hill?"

The lawyer pulls out his laptop, emails all his high IQ buddies and researches every top search engine and comes up with nothing. Frustrated, he hands the blonde $500."

She takes the money, leans her head against the window and goes back to sleep.

He taps her once more and asks, "Well? What's the answer?"

Not a word, the blonde reaches in her purse and hands him $5.




SCORE ONE FOR THE BLONDES! :P

Answer 3

Q: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the top of the empire state building and jump off at the same time who hits the ground last? and why?
A: the blonde, she had to stop and ask for directions.

Q: what do you call one blond blowing into another blondes ear?
A: data transfer

Q: what do you call something that goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech, vroom, screech?
A: a blonde going through a blinking red light

Q: why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory?
A: she rejected all the W's

Answer 4

One day, a blonde, brunette, and red head were scheduled for execution as there were on death row.

The red head was first. The guards pointed their guns at her and said "ready... aim..." and then out of nowhere, the red head said "SHARK", the guards turned and the red head ran off.

Next was the brunette. The guards pointed their guns at her and said "ready... aim..." and then out of nowhere, the brunette said "Lion", and the guards turned and the brunette ran off.

Now it was the blonde's turn and by this time, she had caught on to what both the red head and brunette had done. So when the guards pointed their guns at her and said "ready... aim..." the blond yells out "FIRE"! LOL...

Answer 5

A blond died her hair and rather than dry it out with a dryer she decided to take a drive in her convertible. Out to the country she flew, brunet hair blowing in the breeze, she comes upon a heard of sheep. Pulling up to the shepherd she asks, "If I can tell you how many sheep you have out there will you let me have one?
Shepherd: well sure why not.
Blond: There are 686 sheep out there.
Stunned Shepherd: Wow, OK go pick out your sheep.
Searching through all of the sheep she picked out the cutest one she could find and placed it into the car and began to drive away.
The Shepherd yelled, Hay lady if I can guess what your real hair color is can I have my sheep dog back?

Answer 6

Q: Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice carton?

A: Because it said concentrate.

Answer 7

A blonde walks into a building. You'd think she'd have seen it.

Answer 8

i do.there was this blonde who went to a store and said to the guy there i want to by that tv . he said we dont sell to blondes.so she left and went to a wig store and got a brown wig.she went back to the store and said to the man i want to buy that tv and he said sorry we dont sell to blondes.so she went back to the wig store and got a orange wig and went back to the store and said i want to buy that tv and the guy said sorry we dont sell to blondes.the blonde said how do you know i am a blonde every time even though i have a wig.he said because that is a microwave.hahahahaha

Answer 9

a blonde, is driving by the ymca...shaking her head in disbelief, she says...'such a shame that they'd spell macy's wrong!'

Q: what goes errr, errr, errr?
A: a blonde at a blinking yellow light...

Answer 10

hi PlAiN!!!!
i myself iz a very big joke....
ha ha aha ha ha ha aha aha ahaa haa aha aha ahaa aha haa ha ....
i know u r thinkin dat i m mad but u r absolutely correct
ha ha aha ha ahaa aha