How soon is to soon to start trying again?

Question

I recently was 4 months pregnant with identical twin boys, they had twin to twin transfusion issues, I underwent laser surgery July 3, 2006 to try and save both if not at least one. No luck I lost both babies in the same day. I can't quit crying my emotions are so screwed up. I want to start trying again as soon as possible I have a 5 year old daughter now. She was so disappointed. I still had to deliver them vaginally July 5, 2006. I seen both babies. They were so precious. They look healthy, 10 finger, toes, nose, ears etc. I was so devastated. So when is it to soon?

Twin to twin transfusion is where they share the same placenta (blood supply, nutrients and etc.) Baby B in this case was the donor the baby who gave everything to baby A. I was having surgery to save both. Its hard though finding out Monday that you are having identical twin boys, friday they want to send you to a specialist, the following Monday you are in surgery and the next day July 4 they both are gone and you are left wondering what if...I thought surely I would have been out of the miscarriaging stage but I guess not.

Answer 1

my friend just had a stillbirth about 2months ago. shes already trying again. so i say maybe a month or 2. i think you have to wait for your next cycle to end after birth

Answer 2

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I know your pain, and wish I could be of more help. I can't say for sure when you can start trying again, your body needs time to heal, but my sister-in-law was 11 weeks pregnant when she lost her baby and she got pregnant again two months later. So far everything is going very well, she's had no problems. You were farther along though, and may need to take a little more time. I would reccomend seeing your doctor about it. Wait at least two months. They say you shouldn't have sex for 6 weeks after a birth, so think of it that way. Also, your body is adjusting. You were pregnant then you weren't...so your hormones are all out of whack, which contributes in part to your crying. You need to cry though. Even at four months you love your unborn child so much. Try talking to a counselour about your loss. But for now, focus on your daughter, let your body heal and then try again. I'm sorry again, and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

First, let me say that I am sooo sorry for your loss. Nothing can compare to the grief of loosing a child, let alone 2. I have also had to deliver a dead baby. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

As far as trying again, I would talk to your doctor and see what they recommend. Some say wait 3 months, some say longer. It just depends on the circumstances and how you are feeling.

Don't be too anxious to try again. You need time to heal, not just physically, but emotionally as well. And trust me, another pregnancy isn't going to fill the void that this last one left.

Right now, you need to grieve. You need to feel those emotions and deal with the issues surrounding what happened. Don't hold back your emotions, let them out. If you need to, go see a counselor, or trusted friend. I went to counseling for over a year with my still birth and it helped a lot.

If you need to, feel free to contact me. Sometimes it's nice to have others to talk to about what happened. It made me feel like I wasn't as alone in what was happening.

Talk to your doctor. Let them advise you as to when they think you should try again.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss. Let me know if you need to talk!!

Answer 4

I am not sure when you would be physically ready, I would ask your doctor that one. But I know it is going to be okay when your body heals and everything. Emotionally I would say give it a while and yourself grieve for them. How long is up to you. But if you are still upset and you are going to try then the stress will make it harder for you to get pregnant again. But just give it some time, you have suffered a great loss. I am so sorry for your loss and just know that everything happens for a reason *BIG HUG*

And to the other rude people, she just had a terrible loss and you shouldn't be so rude to her.

Answer 5

start right now it's not too soon - nothing will take away your pain but having hope is very important and expecting and carrying a child is full of hope-

you are really brave to write this down and that too shows how much you want to heal - take long walks and love your daughter and husband also take some omega 3 for the depression which you have
if you are not in any physical pain then usually you can start after 6 weeks.

I really feel your pain -

Answer 6

I would guess 6 weeks, but only a doctor can answer this for you. The other side of this of course, is the psychological impact of your ordeal. Can you deal with another death? Or should you even try? I mean look - there are moms who have misscarriage after misscarriage but they keep trying. I think it's wrong if the outlook is bad in that the fetus might die.

Only a doctor and a counselor can give you any advice.

Answer 7

I think your doctor wil be able to advise you on when you can start having intercourse again, especially after the ordeal your body had to go through with the pregnancy and delivery (sorry for your loss by the way, my prayers are with you).

Sometimes it may take awhile for the body to recover from it. I would say at least 2 months or 3 months, but I'm no expert and I'm not your doctor so consult your doctor to know for sure.

Answer 8

Only you can answer that question. Over time, your heart will heal. If you think you are ready to start trying, go ahead. It will more than likely help you and your loved ones heal a little easier (not that one baby replaces those you lost). I am sorry for your loss. I pray that you will be able to conceive happy healthy babies. Good luck...

Answer 9

You need to give some time for your body to heal thru all that stress and trauma. I would say atleast 4 - 6mo. I had a baby May 2004 and got pregnant Aug/Sept. but we weren't even trying!! The first 3mo after delievery would cause more stress to your body, its best to wait atleast 4mo. My doctor told me to wait atleast 1yr or longer cuz I have a history of blood clots and I am severely high risk.

Answer 10

That must have been horrible for you. I am truly sorry for your losses. And i also want to apologize for some of these rude,inconsiderate, jerks on this site. I really don't know the answer, but i don't think it would be too long. You should ask your doctor. Good luck and stay strong.

Answer 11

Right now is too soon. You need time to grieve your loss. Give it a few months. You have enough emotion right now, to compound it with a pregnancy or non preg would be way too much for anyone to handle. Relax and grieve. Sorry to hear about this.