We haven't been married that long but he is already dishonest and does things behind my back.
2006-07-10 10:30:14 · 37 answers · asked by Courtney T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well....we have known each other for 3 years. Been married for about 5 weeks.
Before our wedding, we had a huge heart-2-heart and he promised that things would change and etc.
He lies about money, things that he does. I just never know if he's telling the truth!
2006-07-10 10:34:21 · update #1
Can you be more specific?
2006-07-10 10:32:24 · answer #1 · answered by fun_guy_otown 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here is a secret that everyone should know. The law of the harvest. We reap what we sow(plant). When you sow a thought you reap an action. When you repeat that thought and action it becomes a habit. Your habits are what make up your character.
It takes a lot of effort (a huge amount of mental and emotional energy) to change a habit that has been a part of a man for a long time. The longer the habit the more amount of energy. The thing with lying is a person will likely start lying even when he doesn't need to. It is a habit. It can be broken, but only with an awakening. If a man wants to be different he has to think differently.
Some people don't mean to lie though. Do some research about pathological liars. Call a psychologist and ask some questions. Learn about his childhood. Ending a marriage is a last resort unless you are being beaten or he is a molester or something. But talk to him in the most unconfrontational way you can. Don't accuse him. Help him. If he doesn't budge at all, give him an ultimatum. Something to wake him up and make him get help.
2006-07-10 11:05:50 · answer #2 · answered by Luke 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have another heart to heart with him and tell him how you are feeling. This is just the beginning and things are only going to get harder from here on out. Do you really want to be with a dishonest person?
2006-07-10 10:38:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to the Bible grounds for divorce is marital unfaithfulness. I think that he can chage, but he has to be willing to be honest with you. Try to figure out what is the source for his lying. Is he afraid of what you may say or think about him if you told the truth. Is there anything from his childhood that would cause him to be dishonest all the time. These aren't excuses, just good to understand in order to solve the problem.
2006-07-10 10:53:05 · answer #4 · answered by TexasBoy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you is : since you haven't been married for long there is a chance that you two can make things work. what you need to do is really sit down and talk i mean really talk don't be scared to ask questions that is the only way things can be put out in the open. Whatever you do make sure you both pray and ask God to be there during and after the conversation that way he can led you in the right direction
2006-07-10 10:53:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell yes you can! Dishonesty is one of the roots of all evil. How can you EVER expect him to tell you the truth, and how can you EVEr believe him if all he does is lie? If the marriage is still in its infancy you can try two things..
1. Ask him to go to counseling with you to help him stop being dishonest.
2. Divorce him now before it is too late.
Im assuming you are still young. you have your whole life to live girl!!! Dont let time (Which is PRECIOUS) slip by while you are stuck with a jerk!
2006-07-10 10:35:26 · answer #6 · answered by sosevere 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a reason to get divorced. Talk to him about his dishonesty and ask him why he feels the need to lie and do things behind your back. You need to keep the communication open and get to the bottom of problems before deciding to throw in the towel.
You married him for better or for worse - don't be so quick to hop on the divorce wagon when a little problem arises. Before you consider divorce you should do everything in your power to save your marriage, including getting into counseling.
2006-07-10 10:34:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With dishonesty I am sorry to tell you but usually comes accompanied with cheating. If your husband has trouble telling the truth about where he is and when then he probably is lying about who he was with. Try asking him questions that you asked about him before about his whereabouts and see if the answer is the same. If it is, then maybe you should back down a bit...but if not then you should consider counsleing first before breaking apart a family.
2006-07-10 10:40:57 · answer #8 · answered by babysk1ttl3s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without honestly there can't be trust. Without trust what can be the basis for a relationship that will last? Counselling is the first option in my opinion. Let him know your concerns and see if he'll be willing to change. Work on the problem first.
2006-07-10 10:35:57 · answer #9 · answered by PoxRox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must separate his intentions from his behavior.
If his intention is to deceive you..that is wrong. At least give him the opportunity to clean up his act, otherwise, the vows delivered during the ceremony of marriage bear no meaning and a divorce the only alternative.
2006-07-10 10:35:40 · answer #10 · answered by Gurn B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously there is a problem... but it seems like your awful quick to up and leave.... don't you care about trying to work things out before jumping the gun on divorce?
is he lying about big things or little things that arent even that big of a deal? because if your all pissed off about something small that doesnt even matter in the end, then i have to say thats really immature.....
it sounds like you guys rushed into this, marrage should be forever.... unfortunatly it usually isnt
2006-07-10 10:35:02 · answer #11 · answered by Whitney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋