Just found out last night. My husband and I have been together for a long time. His mother and my dad met through us, they have been dating for a long time too. My husband's mother cheated on my father with her ex and then she told her son not to tell. My dad cheated too, but he told her and ever since then, she has chastised him for it and won't stop, but she is just as guilty, if not more for yelling at him every chance she gets. I have an obligation to my husband, bec. he told me not to tell, but I also have one to my dad. What should I do? Is there a way I could tell him with out him knowing it came from me?
2006-07-10 09:37:44 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That's rough. I guess I would say to tell her you're aware and that she should tell him herself.
2006-07-10 09:40:00 · answer #1 · answered by ndtaya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think you should stay the hell out of it. You're all adults, and as such, you ALL should practice some discretion.
The mother should NEVER had said anything to your man, and because of that it has really put the two of you in a tight spot.
If you just can't stand it and MUST speak to someone, take the woman aside, and tell her you know perfectly well what she's done and tell her that if she doesn't lay off your dad, you WILL tell him (even if you don't intend to). It may just get her to back off and settle down.
2006-07-10 16:46:02 · answer #2 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell! You need to be looking out for your father's well being right now. It is not fair that your mother-in-law gets to chastise him for his share of cheating and she is a cheater as well. I don't know how to tell you to go about it, but there really is no simple way to do it. So you just have to make up your mind to be brave and just do it!
2006-07-10 16:39:44 · answer #3 · answered by sassy_sexy_honey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with everyone. Liars lie, so if your husband lies to your dad then he will be lying to you too eventually. Your husband should'nt ask you to lie to your dad either. And yes, omitting the truth is the same as a lie. Your dad desirves to know what he has for a girlfriend. He probably desirves a cheating girlfriend, but he still desirves to know. Just be honest.
2006-07-10 16:44:29 · answer #4 · answered by Dennis C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that situation totally sucks. You need to talk to your husband first, and tell him your conflict of loyalties. I don't see a graceful way out of this.
Maybe your dad and your mother-in-law need to take a step back from their dating relationship for a while. Or THEY should be talking to each other.
I do know some older people who are polyamorous (in a committed relationship that's open to them seeing other people), and they are open about it and OK with it. Maybe your older generation needs to TALK TO EACH OTHER and come to some sort of agreement about their "sleeping arrangements"
You could be a catalyst for that, but expect a messy situation for a while. Just don't jeopardize your own marriage in the process.
2006-07-10 16:43:22 · answer #5 · answered by voxwoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is try to set her up to get caught. If you have insider information on when she will be with anther man make it so your dad stops by her for some reason. Otherwise if you tell him everybody will be fighting. They are both cheating on each other so its not like someone is really going to get hurt here.
2006-07-10 16:41:27 · answer #6 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your dad about her. She's bitching at him so much because she's GUILTY. Tell your dad, and then tell him to break it off with her. There's no trust obviously from her side. He doesn't need her. Plus, the whole your dad, his mom thing is not cool. It just makes things weird (as you can obviously see) At least your dad was cool and told her about his screwing around. She's a loser for being the way she is toward your dad. Get rid of her for everybody's sake.
2006-07-10 16:45:15 · answer #7 · answered by Gasman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting involved in family issues are always tough. If you find a way to tell him anonymously, why would he believe that? You got pictures you can send? I suggest you have a discussion with you mother-in-law and let her know that if she doesn't stop disrespecting your dad, you will have to tell him what she's doing. You have to be prepared to deal with the consequences.
2006-07-10 16:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should definitely be told, especially if his past behavior is continually being held over his head by this woman...his cheating is still wrong, but it doesn't okay her to do it...
Your husband sounds like he's attempting to protect his mother, without regard to your father...it's a difficult situation and your choice as to how to handle it, but I'd want to know if I was being cheated on...
2006-07-10 16:43:05 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
id definately tell. bc what they are trying to do is build a future toghether, if there is no honesty, then they are only building it falsely. wouldnt you want to know? put urself in them shoes, seriuiosly. if they can move past it, then fine. but if not, they need to split bc they are not meant for each other then. cheating is the worst form of anything. its lying, betrayal, gross, etc. id tell. its ur family. and if u dont tell, i guarantee one day it'll all backfire on you! been there and done that with other ppl. sacrifice ur family or what?
2006-07-10 16:49:53 · answer #10 · answered by Kasey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would definitely tell. i wouldn't want my dad to get an std. because of a loose chick. your husband has to understand, and that type of relationship will bring these type of problems to your relationship all the time. best to cut it now. why did you let your dad hook up with your mom in law? tell quick before she does it again.
2006-07-10 16:43:34 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋