Which is harder being counted on or being the one counting on someone ?

Question

“Listening to your tape, I was reminded of this poem. It has the central question: Is it harder to count on someone or to know that you're being the one counted upon? Anyway, there's this part that goes: "if equal affection cannot be, then let the more loving one be me." Have you ever read that one? It's one of my favorites.” Janeane Garofalo

Answer 1

First let me say....I'm a huge Janeane Garofalo fan. Her sarcastic matter of fact wit is perfecto.


As to which is harder....... that's a toughie. Obviously you will get several opinions and that will be because we are all made differently.

I personally think it is harder to be the one counting on someone else. Ugh.....I'm so going to sound like a pessimisstic cynic on this one, but here goes. I've learned to count on myself. I know that if someone asks something of me or needs something from me, I will be there. It's how I was raised; it's how I raise my kids. I just know that if someone is counting on me, I'm there fulfilling whatever need they have. That comes easy.

But when I have to put my trust in another to be there for me, I have a very difficult time. Unfortunately, this is because of past experiences. I've been let down too many times. Close friends that I confront with this usually say, "But you seem to have it all together so I didn't think it would matter." Which brings on a whole other question. If you are counted on to be the strong one all of the time, do people assume that you don't need to count on them?? I guess I run into this in my life all the time. People saying, "I didn't think you really needed me."

So I don't place that accountability on them. I have to look within myself and say that if I'm not good at counting on others......I must be sending out some kind of signal.....and if I am, I need to somehow fix that. Outer strength doesn't mean that there aren't internal vulnerabilities. So counting on others to fulfill them is something I really need, but that I've never relied on.

So for each person I'm sure this is different. But for me.....counting on someone else is one of the hardest things for me to do.

Answer 2

I think its harder to count on someone else becuase I know that I am a reliable person and dependable, but you don't really know other people's priorities or time-management. Like for example if my car was broke down and I had to count on someone else to pick me up I would be worried because some people can't handle their time very well, where as I know from experience if I am helping someone out I am there early because that is one of my biggest pet peeves, being late! So I think it is harder to count on others than to be counted on!

Answer 3

I think counting on someone would be harder than being the one counted on because you know your limitations and if you can be trusted to uphold your end of the bargain. It's the other person you do not know well enough to judge if they will actually come through for you. They may or may not be as trust-worthy or dependable as you are. You know yourself and you know yourself well, but you can't speak for someone else's actions.

Answer 4

i think it can be both..

counted on: because you have to make an effort to do what someone else says or want you to do or not to do but the reason that is so hard because sometimes you loose the energy and give up or tell...or something...and if someone counts on you and you ruin it, it takes a great deal of effort to regain that trust.

counting on: i find counting on difficult because the whole world can lie, cheat, or do foolish things...and counting on also means trusting..trusting can take lot of courage to do so, but sometimes its also peer or self pressure to trust someone which is also very complicated to give...my family's close friend always said to my dad "trust no one" and when you think about it its kind of helpful..because you dont want to be left with depression...or hatred..

thats my opinion

Answer 5

I think its harder to count on someone else

Answer 6

being the one counting on someone else because I always get let down.

Answer 7

FOR ME IT'S HARDER TO DEPEND ON SOMEONE AS I AM HAVE HAD TO BE INDEPENDENT UPON MYSELF FOR A LONG TIME.

Answer 8

counting on someone. You can control yourself, but not others.

Answer 9

That depends on what you're depending on them for, or what they are depending on you for.

Answer 10

both