My Husband is different.?

Question

I have been married for 15 years. The past year he has changed, I think. It could be me, or me being crazy. He seems so different. We do not touch, unless I touch him. His compliments are few and far in between. We never talk, when we do its never about anthing meaningful. I worry we are only staying together because of our children. (They are 14 and 9) We don't fight, we dont agure. He seems very happy when he has other people to talk with. I have told him all this, but he says I am overreacting, and nothing is wrong. I have only brought it up a couple of times. I dont want to nag.
Is he right, or am I right for worring?

Answer 1

XXXXXXXXXX Never stay together for the sake of children. You are teaching them that being in a bad realationship is a good thing and it isn't. Instead, show them how strong you are that that you can be happy with a new life. Time to start packing. (His clothes preferably, he has already left mentally anyways.)Good luck hun.

Answer 2

I think you are right for worrying. You need more intimate communication which will in turn open up other lines co communication. My wife and I have been together for 25 years and we have sex about 5 times a week. Why? Because the most importatnt kind of communication is that intimate communication and it is usually the one that is most often forgotten about. Schedule some time alone for a little erotic time but do it often not just once in a while. I find that couples with healthy libidos tend to be the most solid couples.

Answer 3

I have learned when a woman suspects something like that it is usually the truth. He could be going through something or it could be serious. Try counseling. If he feels like you nag try buying a tablet and writing him a letter and ask him to write you back on the tablet. Sometimes men have problems expressing their feelings. This way he doesn't have to HEAR any complaining but he will still know what you feel. Try spicing things up. Take him out on a date. Try a new hair style or a new dress or something. Maybe even do something a little extra in the bedroom. It is true he could think he has fallen out of love but I would at least do everything I can to make him remember why he fell in love to begin with.

Answer 4

Open communication is very important because you must feel that you can talk to him about everything or anything at any given time without holding back on anything when you talk with him. He should feel the same way.

Sounds like he is either bored and needs a new challenge in his life or he has been having an affair and no longer finds the time to keep you happy when he knows that another person makes him happier.

I hope it isn't anything in the affair department though. One can only hope that he just needs to grow as an individual again and only wants you to do the same with him.

Answer 5

I think he is just at a point in his life when he is changing....growing. Don't take it personal, but do try to keep the spice alive. If you guys have a great foundation and divorce is not an option [as it should not be one] then don't over think the situation. Maybe take up a new hobby together, I've heard of some couples recently that have started doing jigsaw puzzles together, sounds kinda corny but its working for them on bringing in the time spent together, plus gives them something to talk about.

Answer 6

Yes, you are right to worry. Communication within any relationship is essential for fulfillment and sustaining that relationship. Your husband is a typical male. They don't want to deal with a problem until it completely overwhelms them, then it could be too late. You have invested years into this marriage and are right to question noticeable changes with regard to intimacy. So many things could be contributing to the change in your husband and you should have to make assumptions. Try to get him to go away for the weekend with you for some "quality time". Stroke his ego and jar his memory on how the two of you hooked up in the beginning. Tell him that you just want to feel close to him and want him to feel close to you. Express to him that you love him as a husband--not just as a father to your children. Let him know that how you are feeling without making accusations. Ask him if he would consider marriage counseling or a marriage retreat. Go to church together. Keep prayer and faith in your home. I hope that you are able to have a breakthrough with your spouse.

Answer 7

well one thing you can do is try to remember the young days , especially places where you had been together, or a place which both of you enjoyed very much. Then take him to that very place again, and ask him to remeber those old days once again.
You can also do certain unique things which you think, that you and he enjoyed during those young days, and repeat those things again, often making him remeber how both of you felt when you did those things during the younger days. This will make him feel young and you will be able to project a fresh look to your marriage again. Also seducing him with some really hot dresses can help, watching fashion channels together can also bring youth back.

Answer 8

Don't give up on him. He may be going through a phase. I suggest you try to plan a lovely evening in, when the kids are not around. Wear a seductive dress and see what happens, he may be so surprised, he plays along. Whatever you say or do don't mention the distance between you guys. Enjoy the evening. Then plan more surprise treats. Flirt with him. Eventually, when he is ready he would open up to you about what is worrying him.
And you are right, please dont nag, men hate that.
All the best! Wishing you loads of patience and perserverance.

Answer 9

I've been married for less than 3 years, and we already have this problem. I am just like your husband, and my wife has mentioned to me that I am like that. It is not that I do not want to be more how she would like, and I certainly love her as much as I always have, but I just don't think of things like that. There are various reasons why things are this way, but without knowing more, I would have to say that the best thing you can do is to not nag and just try to be the best wife you can be, despite anything he might say or do (or not say or do as the case may be). Try seducing him. Spice things up. Make plans to go out on dates like when you were dating. Have fun with him.

Men also a creatures of adventure, so if you can, try to find some way for him to have some sort of adventure. It will help him to feel more alive. Even though it has nothing directly to do with your relationship, that feeling might carry over into your relationship and help things be more like they used to, or better.

Answer 10

I know just how you feel, I am basically in the same boat. I don't know what has happened either, I've tried to talk to him several times about it. He says nothing. He has done a complete 360. Not the man I met and married that's for sure. So I don't know the answer because I am searching for the same answer myself. Good Luck!

PS. you are right for worrying, also this is both our second marriage, we have only been married 4 yrs.

Answer 11

I don't think you have anything to worry about. The excitement of marriage goes away after a while, and what you are left with is a stable, loving family which is more than a lot of people can say. Also, how old is your husband? I'm sure he is no spring chicken anymore after 15 years of being married, so maybe he has just lost his "drive."