What is my actual relationship to my husband's child from the women he had an affair with during our marriage?

Question

We are still married and trying to work this situtation out. Am I considered this child's stepmother?

Answer 1

You are his father's wife. But the more important question is, What relationship will you create with this child? Do not punish the child for the misdeeds of his father. If you have forgiven the father, and the father is a part of the child's life, you will need to create a role for yourself as well. A number of years ago the Reader's Digest ran a story, incredible but true, of a family with somewhat related issues. A middle aged man left his wife for a young woman in another country. He had two little girls with the young woman and then found out he was dying. We wrote to his ex-wfe, who by all rights should have been bitter and hateful. But, for some reason, she did not harbor anger in her heart. When her ex-husband died, she wrote to the young wife and offered to raise the girls. The young wife, not having any money, sent the girls to the US to live with their father's first wife. Then, even more incredibly, the first wife sent for the second, inviting her to come and live with her, as well. (She did not want to separate the girls from their mother). So, the two women raised the girls together. If you are able to look beyond the circumstances, and love this child, you will be doing a noble, and righteous thing, indeed.

Answer 2

concerned adult --- you have no legal responsibility to this child ---it's your husband's responsibility.
you're not the stepmother - they had an affair and produced a child.

stepmother - the wife of your father by a subsequent marriage.
stepdaughter or stepson - a daughter or son of your spouse by a former marriage..

That's the legal side --- if you want to be considered the stepmom - kudos to you! (You the Woman!!!) ---- I hope the affair is really over and that the child's mom is agreeable with the situation --- if she's not --- you're in for a rough time.....

Answer 3

Yes. He's your husband and the child is his. You are the child's stepmother. Just as if he had brought the child into your marriage from a previous one.

Answer 4

Yes, you are consider the stepmother because you are married to the child's father.

Answer 5

I think you would be his stepmother. But surely he's not your responsibility, just your husband and the kid's mother. What a mess of a situation you're in. I feel for you...

Good Luck!

Answer 6

If the child lives with you, then be a mother. If she doesn't, then you have no relationship with her. And neither should your husband. He should pay child support and should otherwise butt out. It's better for all of you to move on!

Answer 7

Well ya you would be the step mother I guess. You are very strong to try to work thing out sometimes when you love him soo much you just got to give them one more chance and thats it if hes older he might be in his mid life crisiss thing and stuff but good luck.

Answer 8

I would say you are the child's stepmother.

Answer 9

i respect you for trying to make the marriage work, you would be the childs step mother. treat the child as if it were your own, regardless that he isnt yours. that child didnt ask to be born in these circumstances.good luck

Answer 10

Hell yes you are! Doesnt mean you have to play the role though! Youre a very strong woman, you should be commended for that. If that was my husband I'd cut his d*** off!!!