I told him he should come home, he says it's not possible right now, he has a lot of stuff to work out. What do I do? Wait? Move on? How do I do either? I'm stuck in this state of suspended animation. I can't let go and don't know how to get through to him. Help Please!!
2006-07-10 08:41:54 · 33 answers · asked by newfunksoldier 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. You need to ask yourself just how much you love him...unconditionally?...If the answer is yes, then you have to give him the gift of time and patiently wait for him to sort out his troubles. Three weeks is just a tiny drop of time when you consider a lifetime of love and devotion. The next time you speak with him, be sure to let him know just how much you love him and that no matter how long it takes, you'll be waiting for him. I'm sure when he realizes just how much you care for him, he'll come running back with open arms. I've learned in life that the things that matter the most, take the most time. I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope that you endure and keep yourself for times of happiness.
2006-07-10 08:47:50 · answer #1 · answered by Chainsawmom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He just left u. so there is no way u are really ready for a new man. i would say pray, pray really hard untill u get an answer. whatever he has done wrong, which sounds like he has cheated. but so what even if he has. there is no rule that says u cant wait, or try to work it out with your husband. but what id do advise is that u get involved in some hobbies, go out with friends and family u need to be surronded by ppl. u don't want to sit around feeling sorry. show he that u have a life besides him. and he may just come back. thing of the new rules u would like for the both of u to follow, and if he comes back. inforce them. and u live by the example as well
2006-07-10 08:58:11 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told him that you would leave if he didn't come home? Assuming you did, maybe it's best to carry on the promise so he knows you're serious.
Letting go of a man that doens't even take you seriously shouldn't be too hard. If he cares more for work than you, what does that say about him? Perhaps it's time to step over the fence and don't look back.
2006-07-10 08:48:37 · answer #3 · answered by jade11378 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all calm down!! Time is the only way to tell any of the questions you ask. Three weeks isn't very long to be apart. Give him his space and concentrate on taking care of yourself. He will come back on his own if he is going to, there is no reason for you to drive yourself insane while you wait. If he's not back within three monthes file for divorce. After you are divorced you can actually move on with your life. Don't panic. I'm sure you will be fine either way. Good luck!
2006-07-10 08:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by zara01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it takes time n the only way 2 deal with it is one day at a time. take a day or 2 to grieve.cry rant rave whatever u need 2 do.then get urself 2gether n start getting out 2 new places n start meeting new people. if he is too stupid 2 know what he has at home then u need 2 learn 2 be without him.n stop inflating his ego by asking him 2 come back or why is he leaving just let it be.
2006-07-10 08:46:08 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Geo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't fix what is hurting or bothering him, even though you want too. Now, how long are you willing to wait for him? Will he talk to you? If so, ask he want he wants you to do. Seek professional help as a couple, and he may need to see someone on his own. My husband has been going through something for the last year, yes I said year, and it has been "hell" but I am still hanging in there. I can't promise for how much longer, but he is trying to get back. I looked at it as he is sick, and take each day as a new one. He didn't leave, but he moved out of our bedroom. In sickness and in health is our wedding vows, so I keep on hoping that GOD will hurry up and provide the medicine to make him well. It's not easy, looking at him everyday, and wondering if this is our last. I feel like I am sitting on a timebomb were you feel like suspened animation. He is my world, but if he can't get well or won't get well, then for my mental health then I am going to have to leave. Are there no clues on what's going on? If not, then you are going have to keep asking him, if doesn't want to talk-then you have no recourse to wait-and no one can tell you how long to wait-I am sorry, so very sorry, but it will be up to you-I hope he will talk to you and listen to you because sounds like he is a very lucky man to have you as a wife. You love him and it shows-by your asking for help. How to move on? Honey, I don't know, but if it comes down to us having to leave, then we are going to pull ourselves up, and we are going to make it. Not only are we going to make it, but we are going to be happy, healthy, and live a good full life without them-knowing we done our very best that we could, but there is some problems that we can fix no matter how much we want too! take care of yourself, and I will say an extra prayer for us both....
2006-07-10 08:57:19 · answer #6 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without knowing the reason he left, it's hard to give advice. If he did something to break your vows, you are probably better off without him. However, 3 weeks isn't enough time to move on. If you two are to work things out, it's going to take some time. There is no set time period for doing this. You two might ought to consider marriage counseling. Good luck to you and your family.
2006-07-10 08:46:26 · answer #7 · answered by Primrose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start to focus on yourself and get out with some girlfriends my husband left me one time for3 months he will be back after his romance is over they all do thats why hes keeping you hanging saying he has things to work out my husband didthe same thing they want to see if shes going to work .tell him the opposite of what you want tell him well i think your right maybe we should have time apart also ill need my keys back and you will have to call befor you come over to respect my privacy never say your going to date too then if he comes back hell use that on you have fun im sorry i took my husband back the hurt will go away but then youll get angry and loose all trust it will never be the same again remember he has feelings for this person really strong if this was just a fling he would have not left.be strong...
2006-07-10 08:55:00 · answer #8 · answered by nicole l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to keep yourself busy to distract yourself for a while. Keep busy with work, housework, talking to friends/family members. Maybe take a trip somewhere. If it's possible that he'll return and you want that, then don't move on just yet. 3 weeks is a very short period of time to give up on a long-term relationship.
2006-07-10 08:47:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes one to get over one. Replace him. I can tell you are very upset by all of this. Truth is, if you are in love with him then you will not want to do anything about having another guy in your life.
Sit back. Think of your future. Make good decisions from your head. Your heart can get you in trouble in a stage like this.
Tough to make a good call without knowing all the details. No one likes to take the blame. Is it your fault, his fault or both?
2006-07-10 08:55:11 · answer #10 · answered by Squiggs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋