My wife and I decided to get divorced about 7 weeks ago, due to irreconcilable differences. I had been promising to have a CD-player put in her car for the last year and a half to replace her tapedeck, but never followed through. She went out of town for a couple of weeks before she moved out, and I decided to have the CD-player put in her car. I didn't ask her, I just did it. I wanted her to enjoy the CD-player and to feel I did everything I promised to. I also had more time and money than I've had in a year and a half. When she came back, I told her I put the CD-player in, and she flipped, saying that now her car will be more likely to be broken into. She got real nasty about it and has been buggin me about how I need to fix this problem I've created by coming to get her car at work, taking it to the installation center, and having her old deck put back in, and bringing her car back. She said I put the deck in to make my self feel better, so it's not a gift...etc, etc....
2006-07-10 08:10:48 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds like a power stuggle. she thinks you're still trying to exert control over her and her life and that's why she flipped out. So now she's turning it around and telling YOU what to do. Don't play this game. I would suggest you remove the CD player. Then don't look back.
2006-07-10 08:15:57 · answer #1 · answered by theletterQ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would just give her sometime to cool down... she sounds upset and is looking for the "reason" on why you did it. I am sure that putting a CD player in her car, which everyone has now doesn't make it more likely to be broken into unless she is driving in a really bad neighborhood.
I would tell her to kiss your butt and stop being a self center b*tch....... that you tried to do something nice, that you had promised to do for her. Tell her that it's her CD deck now and if she doesn't like it- she can halk it and buy a tape deck and have it installed. I would just ignore her for a while until she calms herself down. It doesn't matter what the reason where that you did it for- you were just trying to be nice and she just wants more drama. It'll Pass but she'll prob carry on for a while for more attention. On her side- It's a little creepy what you did since you actually "broke" into her car. I think I would be little creep out or wondering what brought this on but I wouldn't make the guy take it out and replace it with the old tape deck. Hell, wanna brake into my house? I could use a new sound system :)
2006-07-10 08:20:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she is probably right about the fact that you did it partly to fulfill a promise that you made, so it will help you feel better.
But, I think she is WAY overreacting on this, and definitely being kind of a jerk about how she wants it handled.
Clearly her reaction is not about the stupid CD player, she is using it as an excuse to cause you more hassle.
However, if it really is a my-car, your-car situation, (like at my house) - I wouldn't be happy about anybody making modifications to my car while I wasn't around. Even if it was an upgrade, I would be a little irritated too about having "my stuff" shuffled around without permission - sort of like rearranging my closet or desk for me. Its a personal space.
2006-07-10 08:26:47 · answer #3 · answered by quietfive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you did do it for yourself. You had been promising it for a year and a half. If you had done it then it would have been for her. Your waiting until you guys have decided to get a divorce was doing it for you, so you could walk away saying you did everything for her or look what a nice guy he is. I can see where she's coming from. Its like too little to late at this point. Can you see that ?
2006-07-10 08:15:22 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women are strange creatures aren't they?
As much as I think you wanted to feel gratified for doing something nice. I think that it was honorable of you to feel as though you wanted to carry out a promise that you had promised long ago. It's quite admirable in that way because I feel a promise goes a long way.
Maybe she is still upset over the whole divorce thing? Or she just doesn't want to owe you anything. Don't fret, take it out if it bugs her so much.
2006-07-10 08:17:40 · answer #5 · answered by jade11378 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like she's selfish, sounds like she is being a hard ***. Maybe her reacting to you putting in the CD player was guilt in her.
She doesnt want it then let her get it taken out.
2006-07-10 08:17:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a kook to me! I'm still waiting for my man to put in my new cd player, about the same amount of time. What's with you guys?
2006-07-10 08:16:43 · answer #7 · answered by loshea65 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you had done this for her while you were still together then she would be selfish to act like this. Once you have decided to separate and you have done this for her, I understand her reaction, as she probably feels that you are playing some sort of game with her.
2006-07-10 09:54:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold steady mate! Let it go, and leave the CD player in - you did fine!
It's her problem that she can't accept a gift graciously at this point in her life!
2006-07-10 08:16:48 · answer #9 · answered by love_2b_curious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she likes to sound off,.. and she even got a new system,...let'see,...you have to talk to her and tell her you will take it out. Poor her--if she can't understand that you did it for HER and not yourself.
You know what?? I'd take it back and smile--and tell her you're so sorry you got her mad,...let her think about THAT,..later. JUST BE NICE!!!!
Don't be sad, OK? (it may hurt a little, but you can't please all the people, all the time)
2006-07-10 08:16:29 · answer #10 · answered by bettyboop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋