I have repeatedly told my fiance to stop watching porn, because I think it is sick and just because he is not physically cheating, the people in porn are real people that he is lusting over and it hurts me. He says he isn't doing it, but everyday I wake up and he has erased the history from the previous night on the computer. So not only is he disrespecting my wishes, but he is also disrespecting my intelligence and lying to me. I am so pissed!
2006-07-10 08:07:50 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Porn is a addiction for some people also. Maybe you can come to some type a agreement. If he knows how much it bothers you, and you know how much he enjoys it, try agreeing to allow him to watch it but when you are with him. Need to compromise.
2006-07-10 08:16:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if I could be pissed. But it is a blow to a woman's ego, which is small enough. My husband was into porn a few months before we got married and it bothered me. I told him it was hurtful because I felt as though I'm not enough for him. He claimed it was just curiosity and stopped completely.
On another standpoint...men are visual beings. They like looking at beauty, whether it is a pretty girl or porn. Maybe he isn't imagining himself with the women in the porn but just watching it to get excited? Or worse, he could have a more serious problem than you could imagine. Addiction can get out of hand. Have a heart to heart talk before you get any angrier.
2006-07-10 08:28:17 · answer #2 · answered by jade11378 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watching it to an extent is ok, but when it becomes obsessive, then it is a problem. It is in a mans nature to look at other women, porn, or whatever else is out there, but that doesn't mean he wants it. Lighten up and go check out some on your own while no one is around and can see. Go to a site where you can just check out naked men, it will give you a different outlook on the situation. I am not saying it is right for him to hurt your feelings. What I would do is unplug the computer and hide the plug before you go to bed. But chances are if he is jealous and he knows you are looking at it too, he may stop himself.
2006-07-10 08:18:29 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband likes to watch porn, but I don't - it grosses me out, BUT I would much rather him be at home fantasizing about someone he will never meet, than out screwing someone behind my back. I'm sure you fantasize once in a while yourself.
I can understand you being mad about him lying, but he shouldn't have to feel that he needs to keep things from you - it will drive him away sooner or later. You plan on marrying this man - then you need to learn about compromising. He isn't going to always do things you agree with and vis-versa. Don't sweat the small stuff!! HE IS A MAN!!!! Men have completely different needs than women do, so I can see how it would be hard for you to understand, but he is probably thinking that you should be glad he's at home because a lot of men aren't.
2006-07-10 09:13:48 · answer #4 · answered by Christine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm usually watching it with him. You need to chill out and loosen up. Guys like porn and that's the way it is. Stop being so jealous. If you are worried about someone on tv then you have serious self esteem issues. If I were him I would dump ya to be honest. Take my advice and just relax. He obviously loves you and wants to be with you or he wouldn't hang around. Let him be a guy.â¥
2006-07-10 08:12:19 · answer #5 · answered by ♥USMCwife♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had that same problem for years. We go to church, pray and he would sneak and watch porn!!! I caught him jerking off to it so many times, I feel like he is cheating if I am not there!!! We fought and fought to the point of divorce. I wanted to make our relationship work so I decieded I would watch it with him to appease him and me. Once I got over my fears it was OK. I just seperate them from reality and make sure we only enjoy it TOGETHER. Once we got pastthe awkwardness it is OK. But you have to try. Unfortunatly you are NOT going to change him and I tried, it is sad, but now I realize he is not looking to cheat. he is just enjoying himself. He has been doing it since he was 10 He married at 30. All of a sudden he is just going to stop. I realize that now. But it took a long time. E-mail me and I will talk about it more with you. It is hard. I am with you.
2006-07-10 08:44:46 · answer #6 · answered by downsouthcpl2932 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be upset. Especially since you asked him not to do it AND he erases the memory so you won't know. I don't necessarily get pi$$ed but I don't like to see him get turned on by watching another woman/women. Remember, he's your fiance. If he's doing things like this already, you should consider not getting married. Think of all the other things that could evolve from this.
2006-07-10 08:12:37 · answer #7 · answered by sglesxyldy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My BF does the exact same thing! I get so mad at him all the time. When I ask him about it he tells me some kind of lie, that makes it even worse. I also know the thing with the history on the computer, he already has it set so it won't even save the websites visited! He is just a jerk!
2006-07-10 08:16:13 · answer #8 · answered by Trisha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I would be pissed too. He needs to get over his "habits" and be with you. Porn is disgusting and he is disrespecting you. The worst part is that he is lying to you about it.
2006-07-10 08:16:27 · answer #9 · answered by Vampira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dear I am not married and I am addicted to porn, I hate myself most of the time because porn is really sick but I am not strong enough to stop.
I am not making and excuse for him so please don't take it that way . Seek conceling for him I can not think of anything else that will help
2006-07-10 08:13:08 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. Clean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋