Ok, so recently i met this girl in college and we've been seeing each other and hanging out for the past 4 months. 3 weeks ago i confessed to her about my feelings that i really like her and she said she likes me back., but she wants to stay single for now because she needs to learn to grow as a person. And i told her that I'd wait for her because she really is worth the wait, and i dont mind waiting. so a few weeks past and yesterday when i asked her to hang out, it was the first time she said i dont know. and then she said i dont wanna keep saying i dont know so i wanted to tell you that i feel awkward after we hang out because of the thought of me waiting for her makes her feel weird. So i asked her what she wanted to do about it and she said i dont know and that maybe we shouldnt hang out anymore. And every question i asked from then on is an "I dont know." And she later told me she felt that she can't open up her feelings to me and now i dont know what to do.
2006-07-10 07:50:59 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She also said that we cant have a "real true friendship" because I have feelings for her and im waiting for her. Im so confused about her mixed emotions and I dont want to lose her as a friend either. Can someone please go about telling me whats the best thing to do so I can save what her and I have now??? Thx!
Update... she just called me and we chatted on the fone for 30-40 minutes, but she sounded happy more than usual to talk to me, and when i asked what shes doing shes like im on the fone with u silly... and usually when we talk shes either listenin to music or reading a book or something.... oh and she messages me good night on aim everyday. . .
Update again... she called me again 3 days later and she said that i shouldn't hesistate to call her to talk to her..... and i told her that i wanted to give her space and time so that she could think things through and that ive been hanging out with other people lately to get my mind off it..... and she was just like OH!....
2006-07-10 07:51:10 · update #1
Dud you have already lost her if you do not calm down and maybe you have already, many times people are looking for fun not love. Be confident and pretend it was like before, but it may already be to late. Woman hate when you throw yourself at them and it appears you have been doing that of late. Also you are being perceived by her differently now because you admitted you loved her and see may not have wanted that or worse be a user.
Good luck.
2006-07-10 07:54:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hm... I've been there. Basically, guy, you need to move on. Even though its painful and its not what you want; you must move on.
Trust me, the more you want it to happen and the more you push for it, the less likely it becomes.
Right now it seems like she is the only girl and that you'll never find another. But you will. It might take months, but you will find another girl that is completely into you.
So, create a distance between the two of you. You don't have to break off communication entirely, but get rid of ALL hopes of you getting together.
Focus on self improvement. Mind, body, spirit. Kick @ss in school, start a work out regiment, volunteer. Feel good about yourself, have fun and meet new people. Do this and people (including high quality women) will gravitate to you.
Trust me, I've been there and this is what I have learned to do at the at of 25! If only I had done this rather this rather than the pitiful stunts I pulled in college!
Best of luck dude, stay strong!
2006-07-10 08:03:24 · answer #2 · answered by gravvyboat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her a little time and space, try to enjoy every minute you have with her, and yet, try to keep the focus off of your stronger feelings for her, friendship is a key part of a GREAT relationship, it’s the glue that holds a passionate type of relationship together when things get "bumpy"... It sounds as though she may truly care for you as well, although not to give a false hope as I do not know her it could be strictly on the friendship level...
There are a few things to keep in mind, if she has been hurt in a past relationship, it may take time for her to find the strength to have another relationship. Many things can actually cause a person to hesitate... Continue to be her friend... in time you may discover there will be more... unfortunately you could also discover she is keeping you at bay because there is another person she is interested in and she could be stringing you along in case that doesn't work out... but that you are not her 1st choice and she doesn't want to be unavailable to the "other" person... hopefully that will not be the case... just remember anything worth hoping for is worth waiting for... allow yourself to be open to other girls and their attention, until this relationship is a little more serious, by her seeing you are not going to just sit and wait on her, but you are still wanting to be her friend, it may cause her to "step up to the plate"!
Good Luck... and remember affairs of the heart are rarely ever easy one!
2006-07-10 08:05:18 · answer #3 · answered by tink_n_fockers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to start you probably shouldn't have told her how you felt. It may have been a benefit in the future but not right now (she's in college, she's got a lot to worry about!) otherwise she might be your girlfriend. For now though, you should just try to tell her that it's okay that she wants to stay single. Don't tell her how you feel until she starts opening up to you again. Just let her come to you! Oh, by the way, lay off the questions for a while, girls don't like being bothered...
2006-07-10 07:57:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...after that novel...you should write a book...ha ha...just kidding..well you are on the right track..you are doing exactly what she wanted you to do and stay away because she doesn't know what her feelings are..now the shoe is on the other foot so to speak....it is always better to start out as friends and lead on to more serious things..just hang in there..sometimes keeping busy and hanging with others is the best medicine..sounds like she is a little confused herself and she needs to figure out what she wants..no need in hurting you and keeping you thinking that there is a possibly..there is a big world out there with lots of folks to meet..give yourself some space and enjoy life...
2006-07-10 08:00:15 · answer #5 · answered by FloNightingGale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she just sound to immature for you...like she is just dragging you along. did you ever think of maybe she just like the fact that someone likes her the way you do? It doesnt sound like she has the same feelings for you....at least not yet. She needs grow up..and you should not wait. there are billions of people out there mostly women you know! You dont have to look around for a girl but you dont need to wait for one either. Life is too short to wait on ANYTHING. Please dont waste your time waiting just go on and date and be with other women and when she has 'found' herself..and gotten more mature ..then maybe something can grow. well good luck!
2006-07-10 07:57:42 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The simplest thing is to invite her along on things that are done in a group. That way you get to "hang out" with her but she won't feel the pressure of it seeming like a date.
Good luck ... and, in the meantime, don't "wait" for her but continue to seek new friendships, because sometimes a guy seems more attractive when another girl wants him!
2006-07-10 07:55:00 · answer #7 · answered by JaneB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you have serious feeling for this person but under the circumstances the best thing you can do now is to just leave her be. What I mean by that is, don't call or contact her in anyway. If she has any interest or feelings for you she will contact you. Just be patient. If she dosen't...then I hate to say it but it really wasn't meant to be and you need to move on with your life.
Life is way to short to stay twisted up in knots over something like this. Enjoy your college years they are the best years of your life, my friend :)
Best of luck to ya :)
-Danny
2006-07-10 08:04:53 · answer #8 · answered by Danny M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, from experience - Decide what you want , and stop sending her missed signals. Let her decide what she wants, too. I have just had a relationship like this, and it is confusing to the girl. Girls are emotional anyway, and when you tell her that you don't want a relationship with her now, but you might later, that makes her think she is not good enough. Obviously, by the way you explained that she acted when you spoke to her, she wants to be with you, but she wants you to accept her for who she is now. You can't change anyone. Just stay away from her if you don't want her right now. That's just mean to lead her on to think that you want to be with her when you know you really don't.
2006-07-10 08:00:06 · answer #9 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
REGARDLESS, ur makin ur self to easy, i wated 4 months for my girl called every day over at the house as a freind, finally went nuts went to the bus stop to tell her how i feel, she thought i was a stalker, maybe the fact that ur ready and willing to wait for her is turning her off, she needs maybe a challenge for it, or maybe its the other way around she wants you to work for her, either case presistance is the best way, make sure she knows shes at the top of ur proritys and allways be their for the sholder to cry on, BUT DONT AND I REPEAT DO NOT, let her use ur sholder to cry about other man
2006-07-10 07:53:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋