Just found out I have stage 3 kidney diease, my husband verbally abuses me and my children, he gives us no money, won't keep my life insurance paid.so that when I pass, he and the kids would have the insurance money, stage 4 is dialysis and transplant. Any serious sugestions? won't give me money for gas , taken me off checkbook. No acess to any money. Please Help!!!
2006-07-10 07:33:31 · 19 answers · asked by Dawn W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
everyone is asking what state? I live in Indiana.
2006-07-10 07:56:07 · update #1
There are no good suggestions. I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis and the husband. Do you have any family that can help you? Talk to your physician, they should be able to point you in the right direction.
2006-07-10 07:40:27 · answer #1 · answered by PATTY H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're worried about the cost of dialysis, medicare pays for nearly all of the cost of it and helps with medications that you have to take.
As far as the family problems, I would seriously get a divorce now. Start the process ASAP so that you don't have too much to deal with while being on dialysis. Most patients feel drained after each dialysis treatment.
Once you are on dialysis, each facility has a social worker who can hopefully help you out with some of these problems. She won't do the work for you, she'll just point you in the right directions. (The reason I say 'she' is because I've only met female social workers.)
2006-07-10 16:32:39 · answer #2 · answered by Dave S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been sitting here pondering your problem. I am don't going to give you any lame answer, because something is going on that you can't deal with, and you need help. You need to look in the phonebook for social services, and tell them what is going on and that you need to leave your abusive husband. If nothing else call 911, and they will put you in touch with someone who can help you. Then I want you to reread your question, you said you were upset by his not paying your life insurance because "he" and the kids wouldn't get anything when you pass. Why are you worried about him at all? Worry about your kids and your mental health, and get out. I understand you would like to leave your kids something, but don't leave them with a father that abuses them. So, get that phone and start calling, if you don't have any close family or friends that could help you out till you got on your feet, or figure out what you need to do. There is some kind of program out there for you, do your research, you have internet so spend sometime looking. Please call somebody, and get the help you and those children need. Praying for you all....
2006-07-10 08:43:27 · answer #3 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my god that is terrible!!! you didn't say what country that you live in. if you did you could get more detailed answers. but I suggest that you first talk to your family to get out of that house with your children. if you have no family go to a woman's shelter and fast your life depends on it literally. talk to your doctor they can help you with the medical issues. you have a long road ahead of you with dialysis and perhaps a kidney transplant. as for your insurance ask someone to pay for it because now that you have been diagnosed you cannot get insurance elsewhere for any potential problem related to your kidneys. I am so sorry to hear about your troubles. god be with you. i hope i helped in some small way.
2006-07-10 07:42:33 · answer #4 · answered by donna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as your medical condition you could try to get on Medicare because they will cover you for End Stage Renal Disease. Check with the financial counselor at the hospital or maybe go to the Dept. of Health. Speak with your family or close friends about helping you and the kids. You could look to see if there's a support group for you and the kids. Maybe they can help you find alternative living. If you're a member of a church you could go to them also. I'm sure that with some effort you will be able to find help. Good luck!!
2006-07-10 08:29:38 · answer #5 · answered by whatIthink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason why the are asking what state is because laws vary from state to state. You have to somehow contact the authorities and get a lawyer. I dont know anything about stage 3 kidney disease but I do know that if you have to leave then leave with you children. You have to get help from social services and do something.
2006-07-10 08:04:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, after working for a dialysis company for 3 yrs, my suggestion to you is to first seek out a doctor who specialzies in this, if you've already done this, have him refere you to a nearby dialysis clinic, ask to speak to the social worker on call. There is a program out there that contacts AKF, (American Kidney Foundation), who in turns helps out with your insurace preiums so that you can keep your insurance and have your bills paid for this treatment, but you have to be refered by a doctor affiliated with renal failure. I dont believe that it covers your children,, but most states have some plans that do, I would go to either a welfare office, or state agancy, like Social Security office, and ask them about insurace for your kids. I wish I could help more, but not knowing what state your in, I dont know anymore than this. As far as your husband goes, PLEASE, think about the kids, if anything happens to you, do you really want 'him' raising them? Please, get some help, for all of your sakes.
2006-07-10 07:52:07 · answer #7 · answered by stargazer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one, but I would say file for divorce and get alimony and child support. Its bad enough he is verbally abusive to you and the children, but the fact that he will not keep the life insurance paid so your children will be taken care of. I'm sure there is a social service agency or woman's center you can contact for moral support. I do not know how old you are, but maybe you can arrange transportation through your doctor's office. The best of luck to you and I hope you beat your illness. Please remember that you do not have to subject yourself or your children to this abuse.
2006-07-10 07:40:35 · answer #8 · answered by Kenya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have family and friends start to ask for help. Let them know what is happening. I'm so sorry, but he sounds like a real a*s. Will he be good for your children if you do not survive this disease? Start setting up for this now. Get your hands and money anyway possible. File for divorce if you have to. Must think about your babes and their future. I used to daycare two young boys who had lost their mother to cancer. Their father was severally bi-polor and had stopped treatment. Their mother's family tried for years to help the kids and keep them in a good environment. It was difficult because he wasn't physically abusive to them. Getting the state to do anything is difficult. Also, there wasn't any money for the kids. The father spent all of the life insurance and neighborhood donations within 6mos of her death. He bought a monster truck, a jet ski, remodeling in the home, countless live-in nannies, gifts for new girlfriends, ect. I hope this helps you. Start to get things in order anyway you can. In the case of this family I knew, they were trying to remain positive about her treatments, they didn't stop to prepare for the worst. I wish you the best, and will keep you in my prayers.
2006-07-10 07:44:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a form of abuse. Call your nearest battered women's shelter and ask them for help if you have no family that will help. You can call your doctor and explain what your husband is like and what he is doing. He/she can put you in touch with someone to help you also. Friends or family could help you and your children get out. Don't be embarassed to tell them to get help. It's not your fault he's an a**hole. You are also not the first to be in this situation either.
2006-07-10 07:56:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about your condition. Maybe you need to leave and take your children to a family members house, a friends house...I don't know where you live but I am sure there is some kind of assistance that you can receive if you leave him. You obviously need gas money to get to your doctor's appointments. I'm sure your doctor can make some recommendations if you tell him your concerns.
2006-07-10 07:37:56 · answer #11 · answered by cawecm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋