My boyfriend and I have discussed getting engaged and when we would do it, and we both know we would like to get married, but we've never talked about a ring. I don't want to seem pushy bringing up what I would like, but at the same time I have a good idea of what design I would like to have. I would rather have a ring I'm truly happy with than one he suprised me with but I don't like.
2006-07-10 07:23:55 · 13 answers · asked by MandyT 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How nice and materialistic of you...he's a lucky guy.
2006-07-10 07:26:30 · answer #1 · answered by ~Gate~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the thing - and I hate to be the only one who brought this up - "you" (in the plural) "discussed" getting engaged. That means he hasn't asked you to marry him yet. If he hasn't asked, then he's not sure about it yet.
When he is sure, he'll probably try to find out what you like, either through questions to you or your friends/ family. So if they know, that would help. (ie: Before I was married I made it clear to my now-husband when a friend bought his fiancee a $7000 diamond ring that 1. I wouldn't want a diamond and 2. I wouldn't want anything that was so expensive that I'd rather take it off than wear it to go swimming.)
But if you're the kind of woman who'd rather pick out her own ring then cherish the ring your husband feels embodies his love for you, then, by all means, get the catalog and circle it in red.
At the end of the day, it's best that he know what kind of woman he's marrying. It is far worse to feign modesty and resent him. Pretending to be someone you're not in order to get a man to take vows will only put you on the fast-track to divorce.
If he knows what he's getting into and he still pops the question (with the ring you'll be "truly happy with") then you've found a man who's right for YOU. And that's all that really matters.
2006-07-10 15:03:13 · answer #2 · answered by kate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you care more about the ring then your relationship. The ring he picks out should mean more to you than the ring you want. You'll probably just want a different ring 3 months from now anyway. He's a lucky guy. Good luck
2006-07-10 14:49:08 · answer #3 · answered by Ring Ring Ring Bananaphone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go shopping with one of your girlfriends. Pick out at least 3 rings you would be totally happy with, at at least 2 different stores. Make sure your girlfriend knows which rings they are. Then get your boyfriend a greeting card and send it to him in the mail, so that he will reiceve it when you are not even around. In it, put something like:
"Honey, I know we've talked about getting married, but I also know that we don't want to step on each other's toes if we are not ready yet. Just so that if you do ever decide to ask me to officially to be your wife, I have done something sneaky so that you can be confident in my taste in jewelery. My best friend ______ went window shopping with me. Please consult her should you ever like to explore a jewelery store with my left hand in mind. Thanks so much, and I love you!"
If you do it this way, then no one can ever accuse you of pushing him into it, and at the same time you don't have to worry about getting a ring you don't like. By sending him the card, then you don't even have to talk about it in person and have an ackward situation. It will be like it never happened!
Good luck!
2006-07-10 14:30:54 · answer #4 · answered by dasielady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems kinda rude to me to designate the kind of ring you want.."Hey baby, it's so nice you want to marry me and everything, but can I pick out the ring?" Next time your in a mall or something casually glance over a jewlery store and hint to him stuff you like "oh thats a nice cut right there," or "thats a nice band," just don't come right out and demand what you want, you may look like a golddigger
2006-07-10 14:28:36 · answer #5 · answered by violet1656 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to calm done and let him pick out the ring ...it will not be magical if you know what the ring looks like and had a say-so in the design. You ARE pushy AND selfish. Let him pick out the ring, it will reflect what he thinks of you, what he thinks you would like - and I don't think a man will mess that up, especially since he wants to marry you. Be cool, and don't worry, I am certain he will take your breath away when he reveals the ring to you that he picked out becuase when he designed and saw it he thought of you. Isn't that so much more beautiful?
Your welcome ...
2006-07-10 14:28:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about a "friend's" ring (imaginary or real, doesn't matter) ...... and give good details about what you liked about it
Maybe take out a Zales paper and say...WOW...that looks like that awesome ring "x" got! Leave the paper on the coffee table.
2006-07-10 14:28:28 · answer #7 · answered by sugarfoot69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband picked mine out and it is better than anything I could have picked out. I love it most of all because it came from his heart and not from what I wanted (even though it was my favorite cut).
How long have you been talking about getting engaged/married? You never know, he might already have one picked out and/or in layaway.
2006-07-10 14:32:45 · answer #8 · answered by PATTY H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont be so materialistic love is more than weddings and rings and gowns.
2006-07-10 14:35:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, and I though marriage was about commitment not jewelry design...jeez
2006-07-10 14:27:49 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a picture of the one you like and discreetly put it in a place he'll find it.
2006-07-10 14:27:23 · answer #11 · answered by Private Account 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋