Should I be concerned & what can I do about my son on the computer?

Question

I have a 12 year old son who is in the 7th grade this fall. He has quite a lot of friends, but seems disinterested in playing with them this summer. The thing that the kids in his school are doing now is playing Runescape. That is what he wants to do instead of going outside or interacting with his friends more. Should I be concerned? Is this a phase? What about this Runescape...is it appropriate for a 12 year old? From what I've seen of it, its not a bad game except for his unwillingness to leave it.

I'm a single mom with 2 boys and I don't know a whole lot about how to redirect them into activities that they may enjoy. He doesn't care for sports much. In fact, I'm more into sports than he is. Don't know how else I can help him since he seems to be changing.

Any advice, suggestions, or comments are welcome.

Answer 1

1. Watch him play it--are you comfortable with the violence level? If so, it's ok, if you're not, it's not acceptable.

2. Let him have a set number of hours a day on the computer but require that he earn them by doing something else for a set number of hours--go outside, read, play with others, help around the house etc.

3. Get active with him--take him somewhere you can both enjoy. He might groan and moan at first, but if you both have a good time he'll love it!

Answer 2

My 14 yr old son and his school friends are all playing this online game. It doesn't seem to be harmful. Lots of kids just go through "game phases". Remember Mario Brothers/Nintendo. Some kids are still hooked on that game. Anyhow, your son should be ok.. but I'd set a limit as to how much computer time he's allowed. 1-2 hours a day at the most. I personally have had to take the power cord with me to work just so the kids won't go behind my back and get online without my permission. I don't want to "NOT" trust them, but they ARE teenagers. When they're not allowed to be on the computer, they find something else to do. It's a matter of exercising your parental control over your child.

Answer 3

hi there......I wouldn't give him total freedom on the computer. I would give him a limit.....say 2 hours per day....which really is quite a bit. Maybe two hours of combined computer, TV and other video games. Get him involved in something out of the house. The only way you will know about "runescape" is for you to sit down and spend a bit of time on it. As you already see, you have some telling you it's bad and then someone else telling you it's fine. Each family is different and what is fine for you may not be so fine for me.

I have this book......"The Book of Questions" it covers a lot of different types of things. I suggest you get it and start asking and answering with your boys....they are eye opening questions.

Keep the communication open and learn something each day.

Answer 4

My son went through a phase of runescape luckily we have 4 kids so non of them get to have the computer all to themselves for long. He is 13 now and has moved on to the next obsession but is still a bit reclusive. we tried reverse grounding him one time - he had to promise to leave the house every day at least half an hour. I dont think that runescape is a bad game but I do think that playing too many games makes kids bad tempered.
This is just the beginning I am afraid teenagers are strange creatures who knows what they will do next and they dont listen to us anymore!!

Answer 5

um i'm a teenager but i'm sure i can try to help. Put a time limit on the computer like he can have the computer from 3:00-4:00 everyday or whatever works for your household. Runescape is not a bad game, alot of my friends play it. It's like a character game where you are someone and you have to do certain tasks or something. Just check up on him and stuff to monitor what he's doing on the computer and it should be alright.

My parents always check up on what i'm doing (i have a myspace) and I always show them what's new on my site and they go through my friends. just talk to him ususally he'll have nothing to hide. just ask him about his game and he'll tell you what its about.

umm does he have any close friends that he can like play with??? Walk to the park or just sit outside and talk to his friends so he gets some fresh air. Invite one of his friend's over for a night and see if his friend gets him into any new intrests.

I don't know, i tried, i hope maybe you got something out of this.

Answer 6

I play runescape too! There's nothing wrong about runescape, it's perfectly fine. Make a time limit for when he can go on the computer. Or maybe you can introduce him to other activities. But if it was summer and no school you'll get bored so hanging on the computer is the best thing to do!

Answer 7

awww hun, lol all kids go through this phase in their lives, weather or not u tell him to go out, he will tell u he doesnt want to. It's just a game, nothing to be worried bout, but set rules as to what time he can be on the computer, and which chores he needs 2 get done in order to have these privledges. It'll set a mode in his brain which, if he wants the reward to play games, he needs to get necesary things done first. I wouldn't worry bout it, as long as he's in ur house not outside doing God knows what with his friends, which now in this day in age kids young as 12 yrs old are liable to be peer pressured into doing drugs and unnecesary things outside the house, where u have no contact wit him. I would feel much safer wit the at home activities.

Answer 8

First of all you are the mother, if you tell him to get off the computer and do something else..he should respect that. It is not good for him to sit at a computer screen all day!!!! That is just as bad as a child sitting in front of a television all day!!! It is not good at all. Maybe you should try talkin to him about playing with his friends and gettin out of the house. Nothing wrong with him being on a computer just as long as he isn't on web sites that he shouldn't be on but it need to be a limitation. Set a schedule for him and make him abide by that. If he fails to do so, then the computer will be taken away. I'm sure there are other things to do around the house instead of sitting in front of a computer all day. They are addictive but it also interfers with your eye site. So please work with him by gettin him away from the computer or you will soon be investing in eyeglasses!!!!

Answer 9

I'm 14 and I am completely engrossed in the computer instead of going outside. He might be playing this game instead of interacting because there isn't much opporunity for him to go and see his friends,espicially if you live in small town where there aren't many places to go. Does he live near his friends? If not don't expect him to just go outside and say hi to strange kids and start playing with them. Offer to take him to his friends houses or, next time he's on the phone with a friend say something like "When is Ryan coming over again?" . It might make him feel like he has more opportunity to invite people over and go do things than he thinks he does.

Answer 10

The computer is addictive.
He can play games but set a limit on how many hours per day (maybe 1 per day?)

He should be doing his chores before all this.

Also, about him wanting to just stay home is b/c of the addiction he has to that game. If you limit his time on it, he will have to find other means to keep himself busy.
If he finds the Tv, give him 30 minutes on that or say not today.
Set your limits.