I’ve been in an interracial relationship for about 8 months now. He’s Black (age 26) and I am White (age 20) . We tried to go about it the right way. He wanted to meet my mother .. so he did. Then the next couple of weeks rolled around and he wanted to take me out to dinner and a movie .. and she flipped out. So, since that night back at least 6 months ago when she denied me seeing him .. we’ve kept us hidden from my mother until a month ago when she found out that I had been hiding him and I for so long.
So, now that she knows .. she’s told the rest of my family .. so they would know and they would tell me there views .. you need to know that I live in a part of Ohio that for the most part I feel is in the middle to the excepting of the whole interracial dating thing. My whole family I know isn’t a huge fan of the idea of me dating a black guy. He’s offered to meet with them and talk to them .. but they just wont let it happen. I want them to try and except this I really do because him and I mean a lot to the other one.
So, if anyone has been in this situation that I’m in .. where there family was against there relationship because of the race of the other person .. tell me how you delt with it. Because I really feel like I’m in this place where I don’t know if I should just give in to them .. or just be like I’m happy and you guys should be happy .. that I’m not with the last *** of guy that I dated.
2006-07-10 07:16:26 · 8 answers · asked by They call me snowflake <33 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Thanks for all the good words thus far .. him and i have been talking alot lately .. to make sure where both of us stand on the whole thing and all in all its working out well .. and its makeing us stronger :)
But any more advise would be GREAT!!
2006-07-13 07:31:01 · update #1
That's horrible that your family is racist. And they're so stuck in their views that they can't entertain the thought of actually talking to your boyfriend because they obviously are very comfortable feeling racist and don't want to find out that they're dillusional.
My advice to you is to put your foot down. Even if he wasn't black, your family has no right dictating what's right for your life. You're an adult now and you must let them know this. If you live with your parents, maybe you need to get out on your own. If you can't afford to, look into people looking for roommates. It's way cheaper.
It's not fair to you or your boyfriend for your family to spew their hatred at you and forbid you from seeing him. In now way give in to your family. They are ignorant. They are still stuck in some dilusional world where blacks are not equals and you and I both know that's an irrational, invalid theory.
I'm black and my fiance is White/Vietnamese. Funny thing, when his family first found out he was with a black girl, they gasped too. They assumed I was ghetto, unintelligent with weave and a donkey butt. When they met me, they had no choice but to eat their words and now i'm on an excellent raport with them.
You have to be strong. They'll see your strength and will accept your choices in life. Don't let your family dictate your happiness. You only live once.
2006-07-10 07:25:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is unfortunate that we still must go through this. I am a 29 year old white female. My parents flipped out when i was 17 and brought my first black guy home to meet them. I used to live in a very small country type town. When the people in the city found out they as well flipped out and it was known that the different races should not mix like that. Well... many years have passed since then and I had to move many miles away in order to be happy and live my life like i wanted. I have stayed dating black men, and am engaged to a black/samoan man who is amazing. My family still to this day has a hard time dealing with this, and i have come to terms with the fact that they more likely than not will not be in my life like i'd like them to be, but I AM HAPPY NOW!!! I wasn't going to marry the "rich white doctor" that they always pictured me with. You have to do what is right for you. I wish you the best of luck and you are in my prayers with this one. It is a very difficult thing to feel like you are choosing between family and a guy.... but still you must do what makes you happy!!!!
2006-07-10 07:28:08 · answer #2 · answered by sunlovin76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 28 white female and dated black guys for awhile. My family was not in to the whole "race mixing" as its called but I didnt care. I was happy and that is all that mattered. You do what makes you happy they will come around eventually. This is your life not your mothers. She has no right to forbid you from seeing him you are now a adult and can make desicions by yourself. They will have to change there mind when you decide to marry him and have children if you decide to. And if they dont then they will miss out on there grandchildren. Live you life for you not them.
Good Luck
2006-07-10 07:26:50 · answer #3 · answered by Heidi B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, that's bull$hit!!! you 20 years old!! a full grown women and i know that you love your family but girl, this is just one of those time that you just have to say "mind your own business and stay out of mine!". you have to. i have been in a situation kind of the same but with age. I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 24. we have been together for 3 and a half years and my whole family had a problem with it till i finally had enough and told them to except him because he is a part of me now and that means a part of our family. they don't say anything about it now. your family wont stop loving you if you do the same. trust someone that been through it like me. it will work.
2016-03-26 23:54:14 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used ot date a Korean guy for a year. we were in love. His familly kept presurring me to mary him and have kids. I wasn't ready I was young. So i told them it's abuit early for all that and then they turned on me. saying that I didn;t love him and he's wasting his time. I told him that familly is more important. And if his familly couldn't accept accept me I can;'t be with him and I broke it off. we're still good friends.
But that;'s a complete different story you have I say you should follow your heart. I was young back then.
I am now dating a cambodian/chinese guy. I'm part black/asian/french. Weve been together for about 2 years now.
You shouldn;t worry about them at all. Don;t let them interfere.
When your in love it's just you and him. And nobody else. People were like that in the begining of our relationship. Saying that :"you guys look like an odd couple".."your so pretty why are you with that."."And that I dress like a classy woman and he dressed like a thug". And we "dont look right together". It had me thining and doubting like...Is this true. Am I blinded by love or something. And it hurt badly when they said those things.
The worst part was that those harsh words came from my friends. which aren't my friends anymore.
You hsould worryabout what other think just because he's black. **** that!!! I know it's familly. But that's just wrong!!! they should be supporting you. They making it seem like your commiting a sin. Or your a discrace...and that's just not right. especially commign from your familly.
Everyone gets along on my side of the familly and my bfs familly...i love him to death. Exept for his mom. She is EVIL. rasict *****. She's is really nosy. One day we had a fight , i stormed off outside for a walk and his mom though i was gonna call the police. and the list goes on...she talks soo much **** about me. she says I'm taking her sons money. i got a job and i still get allowance. i spoil myself i never ask my man for ****. because i don;t want him to buy me anything. I know she doesn't want me around. but i don't give a damn. and the list goes on...with her atempts of getting rid of me. But my man told me not to worry about it. It would be a difffernt story if she spoke perfect english. I go off.
Anyways...back to your story. hahahah You guys have been together for awhile. If you love him you should let that fade you. love is stronger than that. Dont; let it go. People like that are always going to be around. the part that sucks is that it's your familly. They are just gonna have to accept it, whether they like it or not.It's what makes you happy!!!
2006-07-10 07:23:31 · answer #5 · answered by blah blah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 41, white, and have dated Blk women exclusively all my life. In the beginning, I had the same problems, especially with my mom. You need to do what is right for YOU. Be true to yourself..period. In the end it will make you a much stronger woman.
2006-07-10 07:21:24 · answer #6 · answered by raykpcs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the two of you love each other and are willing to take responsibilities and dedicate yourselves to each other then you have to break family ties to be together for a sucessful relationship if not you have to split.it is your choice with my hard core answer, i know what i'm saying because i walk that road before.
2006-07-10 07:24:16 · answer #7 · answered by firewall 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 20 years old. It doesn't matter what they think. If you let them influence this decision, they'll think they can run the rest of your life. This is a perfet time to let them know you run your own life.
2006-07-10 07:21:11 · answer #8 · answered by El Guapo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋