I let a really close friend move in with me over six months ago, because she was haveing marital problems. I made it very clear to my friend that, I was only doing this if she really was trying to make a change. My friends ex put her into financial ruin, and I still believes that she is paying money there, because she is always broke (paid today, no money today). In the time she has been with me I have had to carry her, many times. And just last weekend, I woke up to find her ex had stayed the night! I also, found out today, he has gotten her in legal trouble since she has been with me. All this said, I'm considering asking my friend to leave. I feel as if I'm being used, because he is using her. I love my friend and care for her deeply, but I can watch this take place. Am I wrong for considering asking her to leave?
2006-07-10 07:13:26 · 4 answers · asked by gmj36 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
no, you should just tell her to leave and explain fully why you want her to go and if she says sorry and trys sucking upto you again dont fall for it as its probly just going to happen again and again.
2006-07-10 07:17:38 · answer #1 · answered by ..joanne.. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are not wrong. if i found out everything you just said i would feel the exact way you do. i would tell her that you do love her and you want to always be friends but this has to stop and soon. i' give her a set amount of time (mo or 2 ) to save some money and find a place of her own. you have been hospitable for over 6 mo that's long enough. just because you ask her to leave doesn't mean you don't care about her.
2006-07-10 07:25:28 · answer #2 · answered by Becky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok fist I think that you did what you needed to do as her friend. Now, I think that it is wrong for wanting her to go when she still hasnt gotten herself together yet, BUT, if she isnt making much effort to get herself together that's another thing. You cant help someone who doesnt help themselves. She has to want different for herself if she wants things to get better because the longer she stays there and doesnt change anything, it will only place a bigger burden on your friendship. Also, on top of that being said, if she let her ex stay at your house, she might as well pack up and move back in with him. How she gonna have him stay there when she staying there out of generosity?? Give her a time limit, sit done and tell her that look you're still her friend and you love her to death and would do anything to help her, but she has to go. You have your life to live and you cant live it worried about her and her situation. if that man got her into the trouble she in and she still talks to him, then he needs to help her get out of that trouble!!! It's a tough decision to make, I know, but you have to do what you feel is right for you and your home!! Good Luck
2006-07-10 07:37:41 · answer #3 · answered by shawny2623 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
noop, sounds like yer so called "friend" is a user and is using you...would ask her to leave, not support her financially anymore and re-evaluate the friendship
2006-07-10 07:19:03 · answer #4 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋