I think I'm gay?

Question

I just recently finished my first year of public school after being home schooled for 2 years and I noticed that I don't really have an interest in girls anymore and that I find guys really attractive, even though for 3 years now I thought that I was bi. I'm 16 btw. My school isn't very accepting or open either, so nobody will actually admit if their gay or bi, so I feel really alone in my thoughts. I just don't know what to do. I don't want people at school to know though because if strangers call me names for being emo/goth there, I'd hate to think of what they'd do if they found out that I was gay.

Answer 1

Whether you're gay, bi or just "going through a phase" don't be saddened by who you are or your circumstance. Concentrate on your education and get yourself into a position where you can escape the prejudices of your hometown (if needs be).

There's nothing wrong with being who you are and don't let anyone tell you otherwise - that's as much for being emo/goth as anything else.

Best wishes.

Answer 2

Hey, and I'm sorry to hear this. I am 14 and have the exact same problem as you. Hah, add homohpobic parents that would die if they knew I was gay, and life sucks.

However, remember you are not alone and it will get much better. Do you really have to tell people? If I were you I would wait until you had more friends, and see what their views were on GLB people, and then if you think they will be accepting, you can tell them. However, don't try to rush the process.

Being gay is hard if you choose to not accept it, so please accept it. I came to terms maybe 2 weeks ago and now all I've been debating is how I'm going to have kids and tell my parents lol. It gets easier. Now yes there are ups and downs but it gets better.

Right now you should just live life and maybe hold off telling people until you have a good group of supporting friends. See what they think about gays before you tell them anything. I don't think it will be as bad as you think. My school is homophobic and when one guy said he was gay no one hated him, made fun of him, or anything. He was gothic in a way, and now he's really really popular. Granted, he was joking around but for a week everyone thought he was. Now there is another gothic lesbian at my school who really is lesbian, and no one calls her queer, or fag or anything. Yes, behind her back they say "omg did you know she's a lesbian" but they never ever say she's a fag, or anything like that.

If you need to talk, you can always PM me and I will be happy to give you my messenger info. Just remember you're not alone, and if I were you I would try calling the GLBT national hotline. Their website is http://www.glnh.org/ and it doesn't just have the phone numbers, but it also has a huge directory of support groups in areas.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Howdy stud. Chances aer if you think you're gay, you are. It is not a sin, and there is nothing wrong with being gay. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Be the person you are inside, not what others want.

As for school. You might check around in your school, or other local high schools for a PFLAG unit, or Gay/Straight alliance groups they can help you with some emotional support. If there is an MCC church in your community they can help too.

While I don't know the exact names or locations on the web there are several support groups on it as well. Ones with chat rooms where you can talk to others like yourself.

One last thing, becareful out there. It sounds like your school and community are not very accepting. This has to be your call. Just know you may not be seeing all the good parts of the community either. People can surprise you. Good luck

Answer 4

Your exact situation happens to thousands of kids in schools across America. There must be a website where you can all chat and feel comfortable with yourselves. Or at least there should be. The gay magazine, "The Advocate" has a website. Maybe it would have some information. Also try GLBT and GLADD (I think)

No matter what anyone says, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you - you are just in a minority when it comes to sexual preference. Science determines where the truth lies and science has done enough research to know that homosexuality is normal and found in many animal species.

What is wrong is that there are plenty of people who want to make you feel like there is something wrong with you. There is actually something wrong with them. If anyone wants to judge people it should be by "content of character" as Martin Luther King said and not by sexual preference, skin color etc. Just know you are a fine person functioning in a group of people who are limited. When you graduate you can live in a part of the country that is more tolerant or you can find like-minded people in your own area.

The first thing I would do in your situation is look for an online support group. There may be one in your state as well. I'm sure there are gay adults who care very much about what you are going through. I don't know if I would come out to anyone else before I had a support group. I got accidentally pregnant and when I told two people who I counted on to be supportive, they didn't talk to me for years. You don't need that kind of treatment when you are alone.

Just as there were white people who cared about civil rights, there are straight people who care about you and gay rights. It's just hard to figure out who is and who isn't.

You don't seem like a church person, but the Unitarians and the Church of Christ are very welcoming. The Episcopals are headed in this direction.

As you get a bit older, you may want to join the gay rights movement. Fighting for rights can give oneself a purpose in life.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 5

You should accept the things that are speaking to you and love yourself enough to be who you truely are whether you are or you aren't. The worst is to go about pretending you are someone you aren't....so, I feel for you.
Maybe you could form a club on your own with the help of a counselor at school?....you are not the afraid kind, I think if you are a goth kid...so maybe you can nudge yourself to lead, for the benefit of others like yourself....but if you get really scared then it is understandable too.
People do get hurt. Sad but true. You need to question yourself and decide what is best for you. But...acting like you are not bi...or gay, is only going to hurt your love-life...so maybe if you feel the need to keep it low key for now, you could at least be very aware of the people around you at school, and get to know the most open-minded groups...so you will feel safer, when it IS time to come out, and be your true self, as a gay dude.
I will hope the very best for you in the meantime.
(sending mama love beams )

Answer 6

Have you been able to develop any friendships, joined any groups, etc? Are there others who share your interests? You'll probably be able to find there are others who are going through the same thing. You may not be able to tell at first, but as you become more acquainted with them, you may find that they are having their own wonderings.

As important as it feels, though, you don't have to commit to anything now. I know... I know... just live. Take each day as it comes. Look, in high school I only went to one dance -- with a lesbian. Neither of us was out at the time, but we were each a safe date.

People always like to call other people names, categorize them, and try to make themselves feel more comfortable about what makes them feel different by pointing out the difference of others. You can't be responsible for what other people do or say. That's theire problem.

Just do what you do, make friends where you can and try listening to a little Simple Plan -- I pick the song "Perfect" because, really, I still have my young punk self inside that feels that song really deeply.

Answer 7

I'm a bisexual and a couple of years ago, I really fell for this young university guy (who is 7 years younger than me). I noticed that my attraction towards girls seemed to cease, and I went round telling people (including this particular guy) that I was gay and not bi. This lasted about four weeks.

When this guy fell through, I went back to "normal" and found myself being attracted to girls again (as well as guys). Now, I found myself telling people that I'm bi and not gay - which only made things even more confusing for people.

Even two years later, I'm still bi.

The point of this story is - don't settle for a label unless you're absolutely 100% sure. There's no time limit, and you can take as much time as you want. Some people even dismiss the concept of labels and say that they're themselves.

Answer 8

Being a gay teen can be tough, even in the best of circumstances. It is especially difficult to go to a conservative school without a visible gay presence. Take comfort in knowing that gay people are all around you, but it just might take a little extra digging to find them. Trust me, they are out there. And don't worry about what strangers say behind your back. They are strangers who have no bearing on your life. Good luck!

Answer 9

If you're not sure, give it some time and you'll figure it out. As for coming out: there IS a growing trend of kids coming out earlier and earlier, but I'm of the firm opinion that you really don't need to in highschool. That's what college is for. ;)
THe hiding thing sucks, and we've all been there, but we've all come out the other side too. It sounds like if your school had a GSA, you probably wouldn't want to go. Which is fair. You might consider looking for a youth group in your city, though, that isn't directly associated with your school. Good luck.

Answer 10

If you really think you're gay and guys attract you, you're porbably gay. And just because you are gay doesn't mean you have to be out to everyone and advertise to the world. I was in the same boat in high school and never did tell anyone until years later, and to somebody I knew was gay. If you need to talkto anyone, this is the place to do it. Plenty of guys here to help you out via IM or phone if you needed