This is only for mature adults, please.?

Question

I have been strongly thinking about giving my husband a threesome (adding another female) for his birthday. I am down with it but I don't know how he will respond to it or how our relationship be after this. We have been together for along time (10 years) we have a great relatiionship, we are eachother's bestfriends. If I decide to do this It will be a surprise like until we do the do. If anyone has been there done that and survived please give me some feedback. My husband has never asked for this nor has he hinted. IS THIS A BAD IDEA????

Answer 1

Sounds like this might be your fantasy and not his... I would suggest asking him his feelings on the subject before you bring someone home. Though most men (mine certainly is) are interested in seeing 2 women together, some men are not and you don't want to ruin his birthday by making him feel like he is not enough for you. If he is, then by all means, do it. You are obviously comfortable with the idea and it can be a lot of fun (i would suggest not bringing a close friend into the picture because it can damage relationships and cause feelings of jealousy).

Answer 2

Bad, bad, bad idea!!! Did I happen to mention it is bad? I am not judging you....quite the opposite. I have been where you are. My hubby and I have had group sex in the past. With another couple, another woman and another man. (not all at once, of course) You should never plan something like this as a surprise. This is something that needs to be talked about and decided by both people in the relationship. If he has never even mentioned it why do you think it's something he would enjoy? And why bother opening a can of worms? Many relationships and marriages don't survive this type of thing. There are so many feelings and emotions...doubts and fears...that spring up afterwards. If you want to spice up your sex life you should try something else. A new postion or fetish? A romantic evening? Go to a strip club and buy him a lapdance. I'm sorry but my gut instinct says that if you go through with this you will regret it.

Answer 3

I would say that this is a bad idea. The fact that your husband has never hinted or mentioned he would want this indicates that this isn't something thats on his priority list (which is a good thing).
The thing you should be looking at is why you want to bring someone else into your bed and destroy the sanctity of your marriage? You said you are eachother's best friends and your relationship is good - I'm going to assume that means you are both happy in your marriage, so - why bring someone into your marriage?
The odds are that bringing a 3rd party to bed is going to cause drama. Either your husband will freak out and be like "wtf" (and he'd have every right), or he'll be okay with it and go along with it - and it might be great, but when it's over the sh*t will hit the fan. You will both have the potential to be dealing with jealousy - which will destroy both of you, not to mention many other feelings and emotions.
You can do something great for your hubby without bringing another woman into your bed. Think about the ramifications of what you are thinking of doing and realize that it has the potential to ruin your marriage and destroy the relationship you have with your husband.

Answer 4

You would do well to think this out very, very thoroughly. For starters, whom do you have in mind as "the other woman"? I she a friend, an acquaintance, a hired companion (prostitute), a relative of yours? Each type of person will bring her own baggage along. You need to look at the "worst-case scenario) first. What's the worst that could happen? Then ask yourself how you could forestall the worst from happening.

From a man's point of view, that's one of the most exciting things imaginable, to have the woman you live with, love with, share with and plan to live out your life with agree to allow another woman in the marital bed.

But there's also, on the part of many a man, a nagging doubt: if she wants this for me, what does she want in return? Adding another male to the bed now and then? Or maybe she's already had another guy and now is trying to cut me off at the pass before I discover what she's been up to?

There are couples whose marriage can withstand an occasional game of this sort - but they're really few and far between. The last thing you want to do is spring this on him as "a surprise". It is so monumentous an idea that it just won't be worth the risk of it turning out badly. Bring up the idea with him, and take it really slow. I suspect that, although his initial reaction may well be "Oh, yeah!" there'll be second, and even third and fourth thoughts within hours - days, at the most. Your best bet is to consider your last statement: "My husband has never asked for this nor has he hinted." In which case, perhaps this idea ought to be left in the realm of fantasy - even shared fantasy - rather than reality.

Answer 5

If he has never asked nor hinted, why would you do this? Sounds like you are doing this more for you than for him. You need to think about this long and hard because once you go down that road, you may wish you had not. Think about all the possibilities that could happen, even if you are both best friends, best friends divorce every day over another person. Think about the idea of him fantasizing over her when he is with you from now on, think outside of the box before you make this decision. Been there, done that.

Answer 6

Anytime you let someone or something else into the bedroom there has to be an understanding that things will change. If you decide to bring another female into your relationship you run the risk of having your man like it too much, or you may get a man that doesnt find you pleasing anymore because of what may happen that night. It all depends on the characters involved. If he has never mentioned it and it really is just something you want to do, ask him first to see what he thinks of the situation. You could say a friend asked you this question and see what he thinks.

Answer 7

I really think you should give it more thought, are you really doing this for him or are you doing it for you? Are you willing to take a chance in loosing your 10 year relationship? You should really talk to him before you make your decision. This could be the best or worst Birthday present. and could leave to serious problems, not now but down the line, don't you think there is a chance you are giving him permission to maybe do a 3 some without you, if you allow it once, you open doors. Maybe doors that shouldn't be opened. Good Luck, Hope you make the right decision.

Answer 8

I don't think it's a bad idea to be trying new things, but yes, I do think a threesome is a bad idea. I've had 2 friends whom are married, have their husbands leave them for the other woman...and then I had another friend have a threesome and her little kids found out and started having questions and all. If he's never asked him, why do it? I would suggest you ask him what his "sexual fantasy" would be, and if it's something you can pull off for his b-day, do that.

Answer 9

I haven't been in the situation, but as a guy I know I would like it, and he probably will too. At the same time though, if he has never hinted at wanting anything like that, what would make you think he would enjoy it? He might not want something like that to complicate your relationship. You also need to think about how you might react to what he does or says if he does enjoy it. Would you get jealous? If it happens once, he might want it to happen again. Can you handle that? There is so much to this that you really need to think about everything before hand.

If my wife had a threesome planned for me, I would be so incredibly turned on. I would enjoy it very much. I know I would want it to continue though, and I know she couldn't handle that.

Answer 10

Yes, this is a very bad idea for many reasons. One, this is why you get married, to have only one partner for the rest of your life, two, will you be able to trust him afterwards or will you worry about what if he likes this other woman more than you and what if he decides it must be okay with you if he goes to see this woman or another woman behind your back. You are opening the door to trouble if you do this.