Why is it that i cant get my boyfriend to understand what it is that i expect/want from him?

Question

Here is a prime example, I cooked dinner last night, cleaned the kitchen, and bathed both of the kids. I had asked him to help me after dinner, but he was so into his game that he hardly responded to me. When he did finally get up to help me everything was already done.
That is only one small example, but the problem gets larger. There are times that I can’t even discuss things with him. He flies off the handle, or puts all the blame on me.
I am concerned that this will eventually be the destruction of our relationship. I am usually good with things like this and this is the first time I have had a man problem that I could not solve myself.
I have tried calmly discussing things, I have tried writing it in a letter, there are so many things that I have done to try to work on this relationship. Sometimes it seems that I am the only one trying. I need all the help I can get, so pass this on to all of your friends.

Answer 1

Hey you described me two years ago i wasnt intending to ignore just had other things on my mind that i thought was more important. My wife left me for a man that was able to give her the attention she needed and took the kids if he is anything like how i was i want you to go up to him put your arms around him and look him in the eyes and tell him that you love him and if he loves you then he needs to put aside everthing else and pay attention to you or you will have to go tell him you feel alone and he is the only one that makes you happy never losing eye contact goodluck .

Answer 2

Dear Pimptress,

You have a classic problem with many men these days. I am a man too, so I know. You mentioned children, and I presume that they are yours?

I also presume that the gentleman in question is the father of your kids? Now if it is the case, obviously he is not committed to you nor the children, and this may lead to problems as you two grow older.

I suggest you talk with your boy friend about your apprehensions, and tell him how much if matters for him to share some of your load. I am sure that if he is a sensible guy he will understand and mend his ways, but if he was in it only for the action, you will know soon enough also from his actions - he will find some reason to leave you.

Don't fight with him, don't argue with him, simply tell him how you feel. He just needs to take responsibility for you and the children, and stand up like a man, even if that means doing some of the household chores.

If he is really a good man in a day to day basis, then you should give him a chance to change, don't piss him off by acting too aggressively either.

Good Luck Miss.

Answer 3

well sounds like you are at a brick wall and there is only one way out .you can cut him off and see ,you could boot him to the crub,with two kids it hard to say what to do .but if you decide one or the other you have to stand up to him.

Answer 4

in the meantime by Iyanla Vanzant

Answer 5

it's not scary enough to him baby girl. you need to be ready to end the relationship. and then tell him that you're ready to end it all; it ain't working out. otherwise you'll end up with his lazy as$, unless you do something about it.