Is this not liberalism in a nutshell?

Question

Many humans who have fallen victim to liberalism feel the compulsive need to pretend to read intellygent-sounding buuks.
Will rabidly hate anyone who they even suspect might disagree with them.
Believe in freedom of speech, unless you disagree with them, in which case you don't even deserve to live.
People under the affect of liberalism often delusionally ramble about hippie ****, such as "healthcare," "demilitarization," "liberty" and "voting".
A typical liberal adamantly denies the existence of Ayn Rand, often delusionally claiming that objectivism is a flawed philosophy (in reality, they're not coherent enough to be philosophical at all).
Says things that are anti-American and therefore anti-Intelligence.
Frivilously uses big words like diplomacy and defenestrate, in an attempt to convince everyone that they're too smart to be understood. In actuality, they can't be understood anyway.

Is often afflicted with secondary infections such as feminism, environmentalism, conservationalism and other gross icky isms.
Huffs a large amount of kittens.
A terrified kitten being gleefully huffed by a very smug liberal.Thinks that everyone that doesn't agree with their counter-dogmatic neo-atheist beliefs is a lower life form, and will waste no time in telling the person so, with diagrams.
Kills and eats good Christians.
Kills and eats bad Christians.
Concern themselves with animals over humans, primarily because they like to feel good about themselves.
Are sworn enemies of rednecks, non-rednecks and most of the intelligent world.
Wastes food, oil, electricity, and water, while adamantly proclaiming that the Rain Forest needs to be saved.
Wants to destroy the Amerikan way of life, in addition to physically dismantling the North American continent and filling the hole with molten polyurethane.

Protests against "irresponsible" corporations while selling kittens for a living.
Supports the Communist party of North Amerika, and their leader Strom Thurmond.
Thinks it's morally wrong for you to keep your own money in a sock. Pantyhose are a grey area. Money kept in socks should be confiscated and given to blacks as "reparations" because they can't afford their own money socks.
Treat minorities, such as blacks, Hispanics, and kittens, as pets, and will occasionally harvest them for food.
Can't understand why anyone would want a gun apart from criminals - failing to acknowledge the many legitimate uses of guns, such as bank robberies.

Wear funny horn rimmed glasses and think violence, no matter how minor or necessary, should be banned on pain of torture.
Believe in other sorts of government programs but have no practical solutions to fund those programs, instead proposing solutions revolving around turning the blood of unborn babies into gold.
Feasts on the blood of blacks, all Republicans, and Canadians. Tastefully.
Ignores statistics and instead relies on passion fruit and nonsense to prove they're right.
Believe they never lie, unless you catch them, in which case they simply raise their voice to drown you out, because if they can't hear you it means they're right.
Have extreme or adverse physical reacions whenever objectivity and reason are discussed. They prefer passion and feelings.
May be seen in the company of hippies, communists, socialists, and the members of the Anti-American Party, all common carriers of Liberalism.

Has a tendency to emit a high-pitched whine if run at high speed for too long. To combat this, liberals should be oiled frequently. Consult your local Mitsubishi dealer for details.
Does not understand how something that hurts (such as electroshock therapy, genital piercings, and country music) could possibly be good for you.
NEVER admits that they are wrong. Any liberals who are seen or heard admitting their own fallibility are, in fact, Libertarians in disguise. Or, more possibly, giant lizards (Lizardtarians.
Are very condescending towards minorities, having a tendency to speak slowly and over-enunciate when speaking to them, and refer to them by ingenious nicknames behind their backs. Such as "Dude."
Cannot take comical critisism, such that they delete and censor everything they can if it refers to them in a bad light - even jokingly. Love fluffy bunnies.
Pwetends to wove wiberty but won't wet the poor wittle Wibertawians or Wepuwicans sweak their wind.

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Liberals

I guess they did it on purpose, check the link.

What's wrong, can't take a joke? It's satire people.

Answer 1

You are such a crazy right-wing screwball!

Answer 2

"People under the affect of liberalism often delusionally ramble about hippie ****, such as "healthcare," "demilitarization," "liberty" and "voting"." Since when is healthcare, liberty, and voting a bad thing? Do you not want any of these things? If not, I'm sure there is somewhere in this world that you can find that these things do not exist. Pretty much everything else you just said, Dems feel the same way about Republicans. So it goes both ways.

Answer 3

after all the work you went through to make a point you managed to miss completely , but it was a good effort , on your part.
I like the referance to ayn rand though and found it does not support your assumptions about liberalism .just type in the word and read what a liberal is and tell me you agree or disagree with all or part of it .
SOME of what we must do as a society involves trying new methods of economics and social programs to assist those who were born with less ability then others to have a satisfactory life not controled by conservatives or liberals who only wish to help in there own seperate but distructive ways .
DO our inner citys fail because of the people left behind with no work or ability to make a living.
THE renewal of the down town districts often come with the removal of those who remained behind for years and lived in falling down communitys .ONLY to have the wealthy return and reclaim this area to repair and profit from .OPENING shops and business that before would of never occured with out loans and remodeling of the buildings.BY investing in specific area's we denie the wealth from the minoritys who seek to work and enjoy the same prosperity of all americans .
TRY to look outside the box for the answers and pick and choose what you know will work digaurding all those idea's that have failed in the past .

Answer 4

People under the affect of liberalism often delusionally ramble about hippie ****, such as "healthcare," "demilitarization," "liberty" and "voting".
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I got to that part and stopped reading. Voting is hippy ****? And all this time I thought it was my constitutional obligation. You'd make a piss poor lobbiest. Your agenda is transparent.

Answer 5

Troll.
Thanks for the laughs & the 2 points!
You did notice Yahoo provides a "check spelling" button, right?

Answer 6

A liberal is a nut;

however it can also be looked at like this,

the liberal's brain is like a nutshell, without the nut.

Answer 7

Ayn Rand? YAWN!!!!!!!! Did you even get through Atlas? You are just as long winded...

Answer 8

No, it sounds like typical NEOCON sterotyping to me.

http://www.realchange.org/bushjr.htm

Answer 9

Hard to take someone seriously when they can't spell "books".

Answer 10

No, this isn't liberalism in a nutshell. It is, however, pretty stupid.

Answer 11

No, it's not (and that was a rather large nutshell).