Do you think marriage counseling helps or hurts the relationship?

Answer 1

It really depends on how much you care for the person and the relationship, what the problem is, and if both people are willing to participate.

If one or both goes in being resentful and stays that way, there's a good chance that counseling will fail.

Answer 2

As someone else said, it depends upon your relationship.

It is always helpful to have an objective person to talk to individually....often individual counseling can be more beneficial than couples counseling.

Let me be clear: if there is a pattern of abuse in the relationship (physical, mental, emotional) then couples counseling is not a good idea. The abusive partner will use any ammunition provided during sessions to harm the other later once alone. A better idea to have individual counseling in this case.

Have said this....if both partners are willing to participate equally, then couples counseling can bring them closer together and strengthen the relationship. It is important to find an experienced therapist with background in couples therapy.

Answer 3

It can go either way. What one needs to understand is that when you go to counseling, both parties have to be open and receptive. Being open can hurt a lot. Thus, you have to be willing to get through that.

I know in my counseling sessions, my wife would always end up leaving mad, because I told the truth about something and how I felt and she didn't like it. This put a damper on our relationship. But, she also wasn't going into the counseling with an open heart. She felt like she didn't have anything to work on.

Answer 4

It can go both ways.
A lot depends on the type of problem you have, your willingness to work on the problem, your experience and on the counsellor. Some counsellors will not advise to divorce for their own religious reasons even if it's the best choice, some subscribe to particular theories and methods of counselling and some are outright incompetent or out there for the money.
In my personal experience, there is very little that a counsellor can do that you cannot also figure out yourself with some goodwill, reason and common sense. In the end, the decision as to what to do within the relationship rests with the two people involved anyway.

Answer 5

My ex-husband was very cute and really good at "charming" the counselors we went to. He was a champion manipulator. I felt like I was at a disadvantage, and I learned that there are a lot of counselors out there who may have gone throught the motions of getting a degree in their profession, but may be very lacking in the intuition/common sense department. Knowing what I now know, I would have first sought to know what God intends a marriage to be. There are good books that can guide you that are based on the scriptures (and it helps if you and your spouse are on the same spiritual page, so to speak). My ex-husband and I were not, so the marriage went from bad to worse.
My "new" husband and I have been together for 10 years and have relied on scripture, and the support of being around other couples who are of the same mind- it's an atmosphere for growth, no longer stagnation. I wish you all the love- and luck in the world.

Answer 6

I belive counseling can be very helpful if both man and woman are willing to work on the issues and not hold the past against one anouther, to many times the next little fight will come up and before you know it you are fighting about things that happened years ago, put the past in the past, and keep the issues at hand in the fore front,when working on forgiveness you should both forgive and forget, or it will never work.

Answer 7

counseling helps troubled couples with communication problems. If both are willing this tool can take a damaged marriage, with time make it good as new. Trust, communication and understanding can help couples avoid most major problems.

Answer 8

I think marriage counseling helps resolve the situation in whatever way is best for the couple. That might mean working out their problems, or it might mean divorce. Either way, I think it's best to know where things stand sooner, rather than suffer years of unhappiness trying to fix something unfixable.

Answer 9

Been there, done that. If the relationship was bad enough to have a reason to get into counseling than its bad enough to get out of the relationship.

Answer 10

It helped us. We learned to openly communicate. Didn't have that before.

If not for counselling, I know we'd be separated now. And we were both willing participants in this so both went in with open minds.