why do women go back to the men that beat them?

Question

I have a freind that is married. Her boyfriend at the time beat the hell out of her and put her in the hospital. Well two weeks later they go to the county court house and get married. At least once a month she is leaving him for the beatings but she always goes back. Right now they have been married for a little less than 6 months and she has left him again because he beat the **** out of her and put her in the hospital. But we all have a feeling that she will go back. I have been married for 3 1/2 years and my husband has never raised a hand to me. But I know that if he did he would be sorry. So why do women constantly put themselves through the abuse?

Answer 1

Most of the time it has to do with the woman's self-esteem. She feels that either she deserves to be beaten or that she can't do any bettter. My advice is to just be there for your friend and talk with her. Bolster her self-esteem and hopefully she'll leave him for good before it's finally too late. Tell her you are really worried that one of these days he's going to go too far and then she won't be here anymore. That's about all you can do. Maybe do some research and print out facts and such. It probably won't help much, if at all, but it's worth a try. I'll say a prayer because after growing up with an abusive stepfather who beat my mother all the time, I know how you feel. (The good news is, my mom finally put him in jail for it after almost 10 years of being beat and divorced him.) Try to get her to press charges on him and make them stick. In some states, once the police are called on a domestic dispute they have no choice but to arrest but if the beaten person doesn't want charges pressed they are dropped after book-in and all forgotten about. All of my best to you and your friend. I'll say a prayer because I know it's very, very hard to watch someone you love being hurt senselessly.

Answer 2

She probably loves him, for some reason--or is otherwise dependent upon him. And hopes that he'll change. Him beating her before marriage should have tipped her off--things tend to get only worse, after marriage. Change is not likely. He obviously doesn't love her, so the only thing that would prevent him from whaling on her, would be the fear of punishment. He really ought to be beaten, at least, for what he's done.

Answer 3

There are several issues here; (1) she has a very low self-image; (2) there is a likelihood that her father was abusive to her mother (and possibly herself); (3) there is a constant cycle of abuse, make-up time (where he apologizes profusely and buys her things), and normal day-to-day. She is often made to feel that she brought this on herself and she probably believes it. She needs to seek counseling immediately.

Answer 4

Sadly, they are addicted to it. They have such low self esteem they think that they deserve to be treated like this. They figure it is better to have some attention than to just be all alone.

Answer 5

my mom had a friend who's husband beat her and tried to make her swallow a bottle of pills, but she continued to live with him anyway.here are some reasons why
-she hasn't lived with somebody nice, and so she is used to being by psyco people.
-she had nowhere to go
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i knew somebody who's husband cuts the wires in her car,threw away all the phones, and threatened to kill her if she left, and he was abusive,so thats another reason

Answer 6

The fear of being alone. The fear of being poor. Basically, fear. It is a very strong emotion and can control a person. ****, our government is controlling us with fear. Our religions control us with fear. Fear is poop.

Answer 7

their say love or that their feel that they don't feel secure without them or that they cant help themselves in financial matter. that's what i think