How do I deal with this?

Question

I can't have any friends,He thinks that he should be my one and only.I stay at home all day long .I can't go anywhere without him. He checks the computer history to see if i have been anywhere that i shouldn't.My jeans can't be tight.I can't wear shirts that has cute little saying like( like what you see dial 1800-you-wish)He says that is advertising.He said you are not single anymore.Is that what you want?Do you need that kind of attention?If you need that kind of attention then you don't need me. I moved 2 and 1/2 hours away from my family because he wanted to move.I called my kids saturday and me and him got into a fight.He said he don't care if i talk to my kids but he said i should not be talking to my ex husband.I should not have anything to say to him.He also threw away my ex husband phone #.When he saw that i had it in my cell phone(that don't work) WE got into a fight over that.If he thinks i am looking at a guy he says Is he pretty.How do i deal with this? I am going crazy

I have been married to him for 3 months now.I can't leave i don't have a phone so i can't call anyone.He drives my car to work. It Is our only car.He is a great guy as long as i do what he thinks is right.If he found out i wrote this we would get into a fight.

Answer 1

You need to tell him to back off. If you can't live your own life, than who can? He probably has insecurities, perhaps dating back to a failed relationship of his own, or perhaps problems at home as a child. Some peoples insecurity runs too deep to be healed properly, so tell him you feel caged, and perhaps he'll begin to understnad that he needs to change his ways. You have a history with your ex husband, one that threatens him in his mind, as he thinks that you may leave him to go back with your ex. People are complicated, he probably hurts just as much as you, but cannot properly communicate his fears. Try talking it out with a neutral 3rd party like a counsoller. Maybe it's too hard for him, maybe it's too hard for you, you need to find that common zone of comfort you both desire.

Answer 2

Oh boy.. I hope you're not married to this person. This has control freak written all over it and I think you know it. The move, no friends, no communication with the ex (heck, you have to talk to the ex if you have children together), clothing restrictions, you're obviously not working and therefore you're dependent on him. Classic case actually.

No surprise that you're going crazy.
This is serious bad news. What would happen if you disobeyed? Will the next step be a beating?
Get out while you can !!

Answer 3

Get rid of him if you can.

What you've described above is not a normal relationship--normal people don't have controlling relationships like that. Your children should be your first priority even if they live with your ex-husband. You should live close to them and talk to them as often as you can. You should be near your parents, too.

It's up to you to decide what you wear. You're an adult. You're mature enough to have brought children into this world--I'd say that pretty much gives you the right to decide what you want to wear at least!

The man you describe above sounds insecure and you are in an abusive relationship. Get out of the relationship or change things.

Answer 4

Get out quick it could get ugly soon and he is way of controlling when he is gone start organizing your stuff so you can just pack in a hurry and then when you know he won't be back that day pack or stuff and leave don't leave a note or anything but if you feel like you have to then just tell him is controlling and overbearing and leave it at that don't let him contact pretend you fell off the face of the planet

Answer 5

This guy is way too controlling, girl. And you are too compliant. You make the situation worse by doing everything he says without questioning. You have a legitimate reason to talk to your ex re your kids (btw you are to be congratulated, some guys don't get to see their kids)

There are plenty other men in this world who would treat you better. Move back closer to your family and get away from this one. Start over. And don't sacrifice your total self to the next guy.

Answer 6

Wow!!!! is he your husband or boyfriend,,, it is a lot easier to kick a boyfriend to the curb than it is to do it to a husband. but either way you are not in a healthy relationship... no one has a right to control you and what bothers me the most is the reaction he has towards your communication with your kids... that is wrong wrong wrong.... when an ex husband is involved there is always a little jealousy from a current partner but when children are involved you have got to communicate with your ex... and will have to for the rest of your life... you need to decide what you want and if you want someone to control your life than stay if you don't want anyone to control your life than you know what needs to be done!!!! Good Luck!!!

Answer 7

Controlling, jealous and possesive relationships are nor healthy. You have the right to speak to your kids and you need your ex-h number to be able to stay in touch with your kids.

You are allowing him to do this to you. Trying to explain and to entretain his ridiculous acussations is entretaining his way of controlling you. This is emotional abuse and it will only get worse as he will find more ways of trying to "get you". If this pathological behavious continues, you will be a prisoner in your home and become socially secluded so you won;t "up set him". This is not normal and no matter what you say or do, he will never be satisfied with your explanations and will demand more from you until you are subdued and scared of even going to the mailbox without raising his suspictions.

You are not married to this animal and as long as you stay he will continue doing this to you. If you want a normal life you have to leave this sick relationship as hard as it will be, but you have to look up for your self and you cannot abandon your kids for this a$$hole.

Do yourself a favor and leave him, please, I'm urging you,

Good luck

Answer 8

omg, was he this way before you married him? Or playing a good part, till after the wedding? Your either going to have to put your foot down, and fight the big one, or just get out of this mess before you get into it any further, an annulment now, would be much easier than a divorce on down the road, which looks to be inevitable in this situation, this guy sounds like a real freak. Be careful, and get the hell out of there.

Answer 9

I agree with the others who have told you to get out quick. Call a womans violence hotline or a shelter. Whatever you do, DO NOT tell this guy you are leaving, unless you want to chance leaving in a body bag. Just pick a day, soon, when he's at work, take what you can carry and leave.

Answer 10

To me it sounds like he may be capable of abuse. Whether its physical, emotional, or mental. Wonder if you do something that he doesn't like he might hurt you. It also seems that you are mentally abused now. If he really loves you and trusts you then he would let you do what you wanted and not feel threatened by your actions (like talking to your own flesh and blood). Get marriage counseling and if that doesn't work. Leave him. I hope everything works out for the best.