Why is it so hard to find genuine friends?

Question

I have a real hard time making and keeping friends. The group I go out with are a real laugh and we have a great time but the problem is I met them through my long term boyfriend. I need to make some new friends of my own and keep them interested enough to keep as mates.

Answer 1

aw! genuine friends are rare but when you find them you can stop looking....

Answer 2

It is rather hard to go out and meet friends of your own. Most probably find friends through relationships, or as people like to call them, 'friends of friends'. I'm still in high school, so I'd suggest something relative to that. But, if you're into "scouting", maybe go to a bookstore on a busy night, (which from being in one constantly, isn't really that packed) go to your favourite genre/ author, and look around for someone to start up a conversation with. Or, if you're in a situation where you take classes, (college, etc.) strike up a topic about something the professor said. Be creative. I know it's hard to make your own friends that you're sure won't break the connection when you break up with your boyfriend, or some other something happens. You need to have your own friends with no other connections to anyone else. (It would help if they liked/ were acquainted with other friends of yours, as it would make things run a bit more smoothly. You don't want a feud every time everyone gets together.) But just try. I'll be thinking about you!

Answer 3

My best friend and I have given this a lot of thought and we have come to the conclusion that after a certain age its just not so easy to make real friends anymore. Like you everyone is caught up with their long term boyfriends and maybe kids and maybe older parents and we just don't have the time to spend doing quality things like waste time together playing, talking, or just watching the rain, you know? There is more of people to get to know than when you are little kids or teenagers.
Sux, but you will find some real friends if you work at it.

Answer 4

Maybe you're trying too hard. Do you work? Maybe there's someone at work you could have lunch with or something--get to know that person. You already have something in common because you work at the same place. I know this is what happens when we get involved with a boyfriend, but you need to have times when you go out with your own friends, not his, as nice as they may be. "To make a friend, you must be a friend" is a cliche, but it's true. Just be friendly and helpful to people and they should respond in kind. And maybe this is just me, but I always feel quality is much more important than quantity when it comes to friends. All you need is a couple of really good friends.

Answer 5

Hm. What do you want friends for? If you want them "for" anything, maybe you're not planning on being a "genuine" friend to them. If you're not going to be their genuine friend, then why should anybody be yours?

And what's your reason for concern in regard to the friends you met through your boyfriend? Did his introduction of them to you defile them in some way?

Are you worried that they will be more loyal to him than to you, take his side in an argument, report about you to him instead of about him to you? Are you looking for "genuine" friends so you'll have an echo or a choir when you try to persuade your boyfriend to do something that he doesn't much want to do?

What is a genuine friend, anyway? Is there such a thing?

Answer 6

making genuine friends is a long and arduous task because it takes a long time to make. not many people have genuine friends but instead have friends who they share a common interest with and indulge this interest with them. In finding these genuine friends the key ingredient u need to find in these people is that they share the same values for friendship that you have but what a person says and what they do can be different so be careful.

Answer 7

with the way people move around now a days and when we were growing up we missed the learning of making and keeping a friends.. It is something you have to learn in that childhood phase.. with out it all there is, is your longing for it.. so there is something to be said about staying put in one city all your life... (Well as a child and teen till you go off to collage)And if you did stay then it must have Ben all those else who moved off before you and during that important time in your life you kept loosing them that way.... It is hard I know... good luck

Answer 8

Free will, everyone has it and it's my biggest disappointment in man kind.
If your in a couple that's how people see you, so your just for laugh mates will never be very close to you because your involve and not really available to them. If you had been those type of friendships (genuine) would have developed but since they haven't it must be you...

Answer 9

I think it is because we are so different from each other. It is practically impossible for me to find anyone more fun to hang out than myself! I am my own greatest best-est friend! I love myself and refuse to be involved with anyone who is substandard. There are a lot of pathetic people out there. I find that the people I like usually have high intelligence ranking and emotional intelligence as well. Good Luck!

Answer 10

i think it's tough to have genuine friends who stick with you through everything. however , if you do keep doing the stuff you normally enjoy , you will find people with similar interests and in time may enjoy their company and friendship. there is no formula to make long term and long lasting friendships.

Answer 11

The good ones amongst them will stay your friend even if you and your fella were to split up. I know that from experience! Also several great friends and best buddies made through working at companies!