What should I do?

Question

Me and my b/f have been together three years and four months. We've been living together for a year. He wants to invest in a house but he told me that it doesn't matter to him if I live with him or not. I was sad because I don't want to impose but I think he wants to live by himself so he can get away with a lot more. I may be wrong but I just feel like if we've already been living together and he claims that he wants to marry me, why should we take a step back to the beginning if we've tried it and can do it. I suggested that we break up when we move in different places. Am I wrong? What should I do? Plz be mature about your answer. Does it seem like he's trying to do something sneaky or is it possible that maybe he just wants his own place even though he said that we would get married in two years. I feel that if we're going to get married then why should we go our seperate ways now.

Answer 1

Your boyfriend has point blank told you that he doesn't want to live with you any more. Does that mean that he don't want to date you. No it doesn't he probably does but just when it is convenient for him. Just don't go into this blindly because he probably wants to date other people too...

I think that people who are not married and living together should at lease have a place of their own to go back too. I also feel that If a man is willing to live with a woman but not marry her that she is not the women that he will marry. He may care deeply for that women but something just isn't feeling right for him as far as marring her...

As far as you go you have to take this as if he is wanting some space and that there is a big posibility that there will not be a marriage in the future for you two.

But then again if he does love you and want to marry you in two years and you and him get seperate places to live then he is taking a big chance of loosing you but that is another way that he can be sure about you..

I don't know how old you are but if you was young when you met and you havent' been out on your own then I think it would be a good idea that he did move into his own place just to see if you are ready to settle down... Freedom can be alot of fun.... but if you never had it you would never know it... Maybe he has never had any freedom and he wants it now... Just to see if you are the right one...

Now if you are in your mid to latter 20's and he is too and he wants his own place.. dump him because he is going to dump you if he hasn't already... and don't waist your pretty waiting for tommorrow because in this case tomorrow never comes and you will be 40 years old and still waiting...

Answer 2

This doesn't sound good to me. If he really wants to be with you and marry you then he should be wanting you to move into the new place. Going from living together to not living together doesn't make sense if the plan is to marry. I'm even surprised that he bought a house on his own without it being something both of you did together. I see a lot of signs here that point to a couple breaking up and not to one that is headed toward marriage. You two need to sit down and really talk about what is going on and where this relationship is headed.

Answer 3

I hate to tell you this, but your gut instincts are already giving you the answer to this question.
Sadly, if he is talking about buying a home (which is a major purchase) and not including you in the plans, then you will not be included in his future either.
Three years is a long time to just toss it aside and move on, but I feel that you will benefit greatly if you were to seriously consider it. My guess is that 2 to 3 years from now you will wish you had.
If he truly loved you and wanted to build a future, you would BOTH be out looking at houses together.
It's just too bad he doesn't have the balls to tell you himself that he feels the need to move on. Find a prince who will treat you like a queen....this one is a frog.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

You cant get much more mature than me Ive been married for 50 years
This lad seems to me that he wants to have some time on his own Maybe he is no the boy for you ,Young me will love you and promise you the earth as long as they are getting what they want but now he's at a stage in his life when he wants to be free or at least thinks he does I know this is going to be painful for you but in the end the decision is yours.There is someone out there for you my dear believe me.

Answer 5

It could be that hes being sneaky, but if you dint have anything else to base suspicions on, than I would say that maybe he just needs space. From what you said hes not saying you cant live w/ him. But maybe he just needs to be sure that you are who he wants to be with. A lot of people need some space to be sure. I don't know that I would break it off. But maybe just be aware. Also, it may be a good idea to discuss this with him. If its something that is really bothering you, he should know. Maybe he can answer some of you questions.
I wouldn't jump to conclusions.

Answer 6

My suggestion, don't do it. You're just dating, correct? Then don't get tied into financial things with him.. Because he could leave you and then there's your name on the dotted line. I lucked out with my ex-husband(even though for a while I was pissed about it)that my name was on nothing. Just be careful. But really, don't do it unless your 98% sure you'll marry or you can handle the financial aspect of things if your relationship goes awry. If he wants to be on his own.. Let him go.. Then if he indeed wants to continue a relationship and marry you further down the road, then there you have it.

Answer 7

he wants his own place for him to be him which is fine if hes single but if you two plan to get married you should stay together and tell him that moving in together would in a way help you see if your right for eachother if he refuses then leave him i know it will be hard but youll have no other choice dont wast your time on someone who wont commit you deserve more than that

Answer 8

First it was wrong of him to tell you that. If you have been living together for a year then he should WANT you to be with him no matter where he wants to move. Leave him and find someone who wants to be with you.

Answer 9

I own a house and my bf lived with me for 2 and a half years, all the sudden, he decides to buy his own house a couple months ago, things havent been the same, it is all downhill now, jus waiting for the final break-up....your situation sounds the same

Answer 10

sounds as if he want's his own space and if you are still in the picture two years from now he will marry you and you can move in again.