I know the joy and peace I experienced in marriage. Why are these experiences few and far between in my 30's?

Question

I have been married for 10 years and my husband and I are very good friends! We seem to be developing different interests and we are in our 30's.

Answer 1

because it all goes downhill from here

Answer 2

It happens. People change quite a lot between 20s & 30s. Try to be interested in each others' interests a little and at least accept that you are not joined at the hip! Find interests you do share and make a committment to spend some time on those interests each week.

A relationship, like any good ship, needs its sails trimming from time to time as the winds change and one should always keep the sense of how the boat is running.

Communication (not just the habitual noises), complete honesty, mutual caring, little surprises ... I'm sure you know what I mean!

Answer 3

I think that's normal progression of life, not just marriage. People change all the time. Usually they're minor changes and few notice them until after 20 years of marriage when they look at their partner and say: wow.. who are you? (bit exaggerated, but true).
I was married for 17 years and experienced the same thing. We simply developed in different directions after about 10/11 years. 6 years later, we decided to part ways amicably. Hopefully it doesn't come to that in your case. My advice would be to take an active interest in his interests and hopefully he will do the same with you. Keeping common interests and sharing of experiences is very important for a happy marriage.

Answer 4

Well as we get older we grow and develop different interests. But you should experience them toguether. Its easy to fall into a routine and that's when things change. If you spend quality time toguether as a couple you will re-bond just as much as when you were in your 20's. I think an important factor is keeping that affection alive. Maybe not be making out in every corner like when you were teens. But spending time alone maybe a dinner date every week at a nice restaurant or even at home watching a movie. As long as you keep communication lines open and the mutual affection you'll be fine.

Answer 5

Me and my ex did the same thing as you guys. We all get married to young and we want to do different things as we get older. We also want different thing as well. We were also married for 12 years and it got worse as the years went along. You better try a fix it now or you will be like me. Divorced, But its not bad at all. You really find people that your more interested in and they want the same as you. It is hard at first but it does get better, You may not think so but it is really better than you would think. Almost better the second time around....ding ding. Round 2 Good luck

Answer 6

That's just a part of getting older, growing up, and maturing. That's a natural process when you've been married for ten years. A lot of couples aren't good friends, so you're ahead of the game. Having different interests is fine, you can share your experiences with each other.

Answer 7

A single never married nr to 40 than 30 I have so many friends that married in there 20's.The exact same happened to them . Most are no longer together.All I can say is if good friends is good enough for you then carry on although I suspect you already have enough of those.... but I know for sure what i'd do ...!

Answer 8

It takes work to maintain these things. Remember all the prep you when through when you were dating, I'd bet you don't take that effort, now that you are married. When you cut corners, you reduce the pleasure. Put the thought back into the relationship, you'll find the joy, and peace return. Remember you both have to do equal work in preparation.

Answer 9

30's is still young. Both of you should do more things together. Developing different interests is not good.

Answer 10

Every marriage degrades with time if it isn't "maintained". It takes work to keep it going, trust me. I've been married 25 years and now my wife wants to divorce. I can see now that we didn't work at understanding the changes each of us go through. If you have kids, they should never come before your spouse. Give your husband the book "What every wife wished their husband knew about woman". I wish I would have read it years ago.
God bless

Answer 11

People continue to grow, even after marriage. If your growing interests are different, each of you needs to accept the other's or the marriage will be very strained.