sex help please?

Question

this question is kind of embarrassing but I need some input.My husband has been wanting anal sex.I think its disgusting.Im all up for trying new things but thats over the line for me. I let him do it once but told him to stop cuz it hurt to much.Now he keeps pressuring me for it and when i say no he gets upset.I ask him why he wants to do it that way he says its more erotic and tighter. Ok yes I have had two kids so Im sure Im not as tight i was pre kids. Iwant to make him happy but I want to be happy too and that is sooo not going to make me happy.So what do I do about this situation and is there anything I can do to satisfy him if Im not as tight as he would likeor anything i can do to tighten myself back up. sorry if its TMI

Answer 1

I agree with trialtoid, it's all about respect. He needs to respect the fact that anal sex isn't something you want and stop trying to coerce you into doing something you aren't comfortable with.

As for tightening up, do keigal exercises.

Answer 2

OK OK A. I know you want to please him but you shouldn't have to sacrifice yourself to be able to do that. B. If he realized that it was painful for you and was crossing a line and asks you to do it anyway then something is very wrong. Now you can handle this one of 2 ways. The mature way. Have a serious talk about how it hurts and how while you are up for trying new things you have tried it and didn't like and you won't do it again. The immature way. Let him start doing that to you and start crying. I mean all out bawling. Most men can't stand to see women cry. Especially the women they love so he will most certainly stop. And make a point of walking funny for the next few days telling him it hurts. You will be sure to get a lot of sorry's and gifts if you try that one. I would recommend kegel excercises to keep it tighter down there.

Answer 3

It will not hurt as much with a little practice, it might not be pleasant at the beginning but it will get better. Also he has to know to be gentle and understand that it is a treat and not a replacement for day to day purposes. For daily operations you may try diferrent positions that will tight you up (such as laying flat on your tummy for laydown doggie) and will provide extra stimulation from your buttocks.

Proper lubrication and stimulation helps, also having a sip of wine before hand will help you relax if you want to try it again.

Please check on my previous answers as there are some information that you might feel useful regarding this matter.

Good luck

Answer 4

There is always the extreme option of an operationto have things tightened up down there.... but dont take that as a serious option tho, u'd be mad to do so.
I'd say he needs to respect your wishes and stop bugging you. It is supposed to be something for two people to enjoy, not that one needs to suffer for the others perverse enjoyment.

After giving birth things do get back to just about normal for most people. have you considered not having any penetrative sex for a while (couple of weeks)?? This usually seems to help making things a bit tighter compared to regular sex...

Answer 5

there is a new surgical technique out there for woman who want to tighten up there vagina's, I think they are calling it "laser vaginal rejuvenation"( web link: http://www.drmatlock.com/home.htm ), or just google it. It cost about $2000 + dollars its also supposed to help with urinary discharge(peeing in your pants) problems. Are you having physical problems with anal sex, or is it just a mental thing, because if its physical I would recommend compromising with your husband, let him lick and finger you in that area, getting you more comfortable with being touched in that sensitive spot. Then using plenty of lube, and you having total control, let him place just the head of his penis into you (you do this by keeping your hand around his shaft at all times). Anal sex can be a very fun and enjoyable experience if done right. If your just having big emotional/mental issues,, or its just a GROSS out thing that you cant get over, I would find out if it is really about you being looser after having your children, or if this is just a case of your husband just wanting some kinky sex,, Kinky sex is good and fun, but he should respect your wishes and not go poking around where you don't want it. Hope this helps you

Answer 6

Try seeing a sex therapist. Explain that he should know that you would do practically anything to make him happy. For him to get angry at you because of this is simply unfair and dose not show equal compassion to you. Ask him how would he feel if you demanded he let you jam a large dildo up him in order for you to derive pleasure? Then if he refused you treated him as he dose you?
It is because of you having his children that the changes has occurred to your body. Are you to be mistreated because of that?
If he object to the sex therapist idea, see one alone. From there maybe you can achieve some favorable results.

Answer 7

As usual this boils down to a respect issue. He should respect you enoguh to let no be no. Yes you want to satidfy him but he has to accept your boundaries and quit acting like a baby cause he is not gettign his way. Suggest other things to him to help redirect his attention, like monopoly or scrabble. J/K There are excersises that you can do that can strengthen the floor muscles down there so that you can actully grip him when he is inside. IT is pretty awesome. Email me if you want to know more I am not sure how much I can write here. [e-mail]

Answer 8

Does he have "a big one", if so your going to have to buy dildos starting from small to his size and work into it. i enjoy anal,its still uncomfortable at first but I get off from it. its great, and what are you scared of a little pain you have had 2 babys that scares me to death!! your more of a woman than me. If your husband continues to be a baby, offer to stick one of the dildos in his *ss and tell him it's erotic and it will feel good on his prostate.
You can find this stuff called like a virgin or something like that and people swear by it

Answer 9

Hi Angie,

I do understand your problem.

Suggest why don't you see some gyno and ascertain any long lasting remedy for the slackness of ****** There definitely ought to be some such available. Otherwise you could try those ***** muscle contraction and relaxation exercise. I understand those are helpful.

Answer 10

Don't let him abuse you coz it's like you said " DISGUSTING " . How can he ask you for such a thing ..You are not a ***** .. You are his wife and he should respect you , try to explaine this in a good way during a romantic dinner or in a picnic .. men are easy to handle . I wish you a happy life