How do you speak to your 11 year old daughter about Sex? What do you tell her?

Question

I have an 11 y/o girl, and I feel it is time that I speak to her about sexuality so that she does not find out from others. Also, I want her to know about it in a good and moral way. I just have NO idea as how to present it to her and how "FAR" I should go. Can anyone help?

Answer 1

Well, I am twelve and I learned when I was in 2nd grade from others.And i would have rather heard about it from my Mom. YOur daughter needs u and there is a possibility that she already knows,but she may not. So go ahead and talk to her about EVERYTHING b/c if you don't she has guy friends and trust me they will tell her everything.She has probably heard about a lot of things by now b/c we hear a lot of stuff in school.Just go ahead and tell her b/c us girls need our mothers and all times to know what to do when stuff happens to us.And if you don't go ahead and tell her there could be an awkwardness between you two for the rest of your life!trust me she will hear stuff from girlfriends guy friends and sometimes even TEACHERS!! So talk to her now

Answer 2

Has she been asking questions over the last few years? That is the best way, just answering naturally any questions she might have. We have an 8 year old daughter, and I can see that there are a few questions brewing already. Even our 6 year old has some. I wouldn't sit down and lay it on her all at once. Start small, arouse her curiousity, and hopefully she will trust you enough to open up with further questions. Don't use slang terms. Use the standard stuff: penis, vagina, sperm, etc. There are too many kids floating around out there without a clue as to what their body parts are. When I was in the Navy I met a kid out of high school that didn't even know what fallopian tubes were! He got schooled with a pretty good practical joke. lol.

Answer 3

B honest with her. Sex is best enjoyed after marriage. The risk that goes along with sex is drastically decreased when the 2 parties decide 2 b faithful 2 only each other. Let her know the earlier 1 decides 2 have sex, the more partners they r likely 2 have and the higher the chances of getting STD's. But reassure her if she thinks she is ready she can always come 2 u no matter what & u will no judge or condemn her 4 her decision. U will always love her no matter what.

Answer 4

There is a great book you can get. It is called "Where Did I Come From". Not sure of the author but that book taught me what I needed to know. The book has cute illustrations in it and it is worded so that the child can understand.

I really reccommend it, you can follow it up with a book called "What Happening To Me". This teaches about puberty. These are both fantastic books to teach kids about sex and puberty.

Our local library has them, check yous as well. You can also buy them at most book stores. If they don't have them then you can order it, I know Amazon.com has it.

Hope it all works out well. She will learn stuff from others at school but thats expected, you know how kids can be. Good Luck and I would really look in to those books.

Answer 5

It is a good time to have the talk. Just sit down with her one day and tell her that what you want to talk about may be uncomfortable but it will benefit her as well. Ask her what she knows and what she wants to know and you can fill in the gaps . You can tell her what's true and not true. Tell her about std's. It would be helpful if you got some books on it to help you in your discussion. She could've already had sex by now too. If she has hopefully she will tell you now. And don't scream at her or get angry, because then she won't tell you anything and she'll never talk to you about anything either. hopefully it goes well. Good luck

Answer 6

Be completely honest. Tell her all the basics and explain that it is not appropriate for young people such as herself to be attempting to have sexual relations with other people. Also, answer her questions, i'm sure she's been taught a lot of bs from other kids, rumors. The best defense is to have her armed with all the facts and truth. 11 is sometimes early enough to have her period, so it's time to talk about it. Also, don't scold her about anything, you want to be her best friend right now, make sure she understands that she can come to you and talk with you if she has questions or problems. Tell her stories about when you were her age and how you solved your own personal problems, etc.

Answer 7

It is a good time to explain it to her, before she finds out from others. Don't go into it so much as to scare her but explain to her the commitments and risks involved. Be sure that she is well educated on the subject so that she can make the right decisions. If you do scare her, she will eventually get over it, and she will be smarter from it also. it is better that you, as a parent, explain it. The only person better might be an older sister (*if she has one).

Answer 8

You shoudl quite honestly tell her the all the facts about sex as straight forward as you can. It depends on your childs maturity on how far you can go. If you have sheltered her all her life by not talking about certain things etc...then you just have to speak about it more gently i guess, but please no "BIRDS AND THE BEES" stories.....birds and bees are not even mates......just dont sugar coat it......because what you WONT tell her someone in her school WILL and trust me you will not like their version. If you think you knows what goes on in classrooms these days..you have no idea. Im a grown woman now but let me tell you, Im glad my mother told me about sex and all the information about it from an early eage...we are a very truthful family, we dont sugarcoat anything.....if my mother hadn't talked to me about it all my life..im telling you I would be one confused soul right now.

So in my opinion .I believe there is no limit to how "far" you can go.....children are having babies at 10 years old you know....so please just tell her the truth and make sure that if she has any questions that she can always talk to you.

You wouldn't believe how many females dont even know all the information about our menstrual cycles..why..because mothers never talked about it. Just educate her, talk to her, and ask her what does she KNOW about sexuality..you might be surprised at the answer, just be honest..by books, if you like ..just get the message across with the TRUTH ...not with "birds and bees"..

Wish you the best..

Answer 9

i have an 11 year old son and they started the talks in school this year. start by asking her if she has any questions about boys or her body. that should help open up the lines of communication. my kids are pretty good about asking us anything they want. thank goodness. i've been dreading this too, but i think if you have good communication with her it will go easily for you. she probably knows more than you think. good luck

Answer 10

Tell her the truth, but make it so it is rated PG and not Rated R. There are books that you can get that explains it to a child, and then after shes done reading have her ask questions, and answer them to best of your ability. Tell her where babies come from, and make sure you include the types of diseases out there.