He is a good man, who is very sorry. He earned a promotion and he was given internet access unexpectedly and got pulled in again. I love him very much and we have four children together, but I cant live like this. I hate feeling that I am not good enough.
2006-07-10 03:35:08 · 10 answers · asked by flowerandkevin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Perhaps this is the last straw for him too....one has to recognize when to much is to much...he obviously made that decision for years but relapsed...and the consequences were harsh...he needs to realize he can't get away with any viewing of porn...its a bad situation but can be overcome...good luck
P.S. This is not necessarily caused by the lack of attraction/affection toward you by your husband, you can still be the most beautiful women in his eyes, he just wants to fantasize about this more often and during inappropriate times.
2006-07-10 03:42:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I understand you so much, I am married to a porn addict as well, but he does not touch me anymore.
Adults do not change unless they really want.
Just think if you want your kids to grow in a place where you cannot tell them to not visit porno websites since the father does the same. There is no way to cheat yourself or your kids. Sooner or later the subject will come in a conversation and then which will be your answer? That you don't agree but you tolerate his behaviors because he is such a good man?
If you can convince yourself about staying besides somebody that had even lost the control at work, then hold on. I am sorry but the consequences of living with somebody that only gets turned on with porn are so bad for a woman that I wish with this long explanation I could save you the pain I am going through for the last years of my life.
Do not forget, is not you who has the problem, is him.
On the contrary, you are too good for waisting your life with somebody that does not deserve you.
2006-07-10 10:51:07 · answer #2 · answered by Expat Froggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is hard to accept, but an addiction to pornography has nothing to do with you. What I mean by that is it's not your fault, even though it makes you feel that way.
An addiction is difficult to overcome. What makes an addiction to pornography so difficult is that it is so easy to access. It would be like if a recovering alcoholic went to work everyday, and sitting on his desk was a six-pack of beer at all times. Or he goes to the convenience store and they're handing out free samples of beer (taking a quick glance at the porn on the magazine rack). The hardest thing about overcoming this addiction is that it's everywhere.
You and your husband need counseling, and you need to keep your children's best interests in mind. If it was just you and your husband, then maybe you can just tough it out. But this obviously affects them too. I'm not saying divorce is the answer, because it rarely is.
It will help him if he has someone to take to about it. It can't be you. It has to be someone outside of the situation that he can turn to. He may fit into what sexaholics anonymous does, so he may be able to get a good sponsor there.
2006-07-10 10:47:57 · answer #3 · answered by Dave S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How to avoid porn addiction on the Internet
1. Consider installing porn content filtering software( Strongly Recommend NetDog ,you can get it from www.netdogsoft.com ) on your computer. it will help to protect you from stumbling into pornography by accident, That's important.
2. Do not try to guess what the address of a Web page is. Many pornographic sites have similar addresses of respectable sites. For example www . whitehouse . com is a porn site. The real address is www. whitehouse . gov
3. Never click on Web site addresses that you receive in an unsolicited email.
4. Do not open attachments that come in email that are unsolicited.
5. Use filtered search engines or reputable directories to find the information you need.
6. Do not search for terms like girls. Think before you enter a search term.
Stick with reputable sites.
If something looks questionable, don't let curiosity get the best of you. Delete it or close the window.
Internet Porn Filter Resource:
http://www.netdogsoft.com
2006-07-10 22:42:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear my wife say that all the time, "I'm not good enough for you".
Wow, how terrible we are to those we love.
I'm sorry for you and your husband. Sexual addictions are some of the most difficult to overcome. He is sorry and he does feel terrible about what happened. However, I bet below the surface he feels that he was wronged. He feels that he was justified in seeking out the pornography.
That's an addict. Always rationalizing their need for the next fix. Always trying to get a little better than before.
I don't know what to tell you about losing the job, you're on your own there, but I can help you with the sex addiction.
There are groups out there and though it sounds stupid at first, if you go and listen to other people talk, you'll find it very helpful. Perhaps your husband could get involved with one. There are websites, books and all sorts of materials available.... though most sex addicts won't seek them out.
Here's what I found to work: Power of Suggestion Partnered Self Hypnotherapy.
I can email you a brief set of instructions to get you started if you like.
Cheers
2006-07-10 10:44:12 · answer #5 · answered by Cherry Stems 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he lost his job because of it, then its a problem. But not in the sense that he is cheating on you. Porn for men is not intended to be a form of cheating. Unfortunately, women feel differently. We watch porn for sheer entertainment, nothing else-unless we are not getting it from the wife and need it for other reasons.
2006-07-10 10:43:01 · answer #6 · answered by J. Brigante 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK so he was stupid for looking at it at work. That is a huge no, no. however his looking at porn has nothing to do with you not being enough for him. Some guys just like looking at it. No if he denies you to look at porn or insist you look like his favorite star then there is a problem. Right now he just has a case of poor judgment.
2006-07-10 10:40:51 · answer #7 · answered by pjthedj247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it was dumb of him to watch porn at work. But just because he is watching it doesnt mean that he is cheating on you. That is just retarded.
2006-07-10 10:38:11 · answer #8 · answered by Shocker3:16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it. Or look at what he looks and see if there are things you can do to shed him away from the computer.
2006-07-10 10:47:42 · answer #9 · answered by jhornneon23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a problem deep underneath......porn is just a masking symptom......get counselling.
2006-07-10 10:40:17 · answer #10 · answered by mark alexander smith 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋