Now that I have made the decision not to live in a deceitful, agressive and negative environment and have taken steps to live my life... how do I get my obviously guilt-laden-(I say this because he knows to sleep on the sofa and leave me alone)and-soon-to-be-ex husband to realize that his tushie should not have the priviledge to exsist under the same roof.
2006-07-10 02:58:21 · 13 answers · asked by Brown Id Girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm assuming you've filed for divorced already in which case if you share a home together which you either own or are buying then there will be community property to settle. As far as the law is concerned until the divorce is final and community property is settled with respect to the home then he has the right to remain unless or until domestic violence might be an issue. My suggestion would be to either ask him to leave and advise him that unless he does, you will until the divorce and property settlement is finalized, and until such time you will contribute nothing to the cost of the home.
2006-07-10 03:10:43 · answer #1 · answered by fun_guy_otown 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like a divorce is brewing and possibly in order. First, you might want to try marital counseling to help you both see each others side of things. Marital counseling isn't only to save a marriage, it is also to help the two partners communicate with each other to make a divorce go smoother. Some marriages just shouldn't or can't be saved.
As far as getting him out of the house, it really depends on where you live. Every State has different Divorce laws and he may already know that it is to his benefit to stay put for the time being and watch what he says and does. This is where having a good Matrimonial Law attorney comes in. Talk to your Attorney about strategies for getting him to leave the home if it is becoming unbearable for you. One thing though, DO NOT LIE if you try to file for some type of action to have him removed from the house immediately. That will hurt your Divorce case if it is found out that you have lied to have him removed from the home before the Divorce is final.
2006-07-10 10:12:04 · answer #2 · answered by cc smith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes being direct is the only way to go. Maybe start packing up up his things and placing them in a room so he knows it's not a joke,If it gets that bad ,because it seems like it may, have you considered starting over in a new location. sometimes starting fresh helps you cope with the all the insanity. I don't know if this is your first marriage or not, but be prepared for a lot of changes, and he may have some animosity toward you and try to make everything very difficult for you. Divorce isn't easy . Hey, good luck and take care!
2006-07-10 10:43:58 · answer #3 · answered by deb d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he thinks you two will make up eventually. I think a finalization of the divorce should be more than enough. Also, you used the term 'tushie', a term of endearment among many. This suggests you still have feelings for him. You may want to rethink the devorce. What did he do that you can't get past? Cheat? Get locked up? If it's one of those you should think on it. If he hit you, especially if he has had a habit of hitting you, there is no excuse for that and you should get rid of him ASAP. Good luck.
2006-07-10 10:02:17 · answer #4 · answered by Spike Spiegel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck. My first marriage was awful. When I finally filed for a divorce he told me he would need to save up for a month before he could move out. One month rolled into the next month. Finally six months later I found another apartment I could afford, signed the lease and returned home to tell him he could take all the time he needed to move out....but I was leaving that weekend! His face dropped and it was one of the most powerful and liberating things I've ever done in my life.
PS.
Before doing something like this make sure to speak with you landlord so you can be removed from the lease and get it in writing!!
2006-07-10 14:39:53 · answer #5 · answered by Kati 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should just tell him that the relationship is not going anywhere and that it's best to dissolve it now before it becomes an ugly mess. If you know in your heart that the love that you all once shared is gone they it's up to you to make the split. But if you haven't tried it yet, you all should go to counseling and try to work out the problems first.
2006-07-10 10:09:53 · answer #6 · answered by sweetness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For openers, you don't "ask," you tell him in a firm, straight forward manner that the marriage is over and it's time for him to leave. However, if you haven't been legally seperated, or filed for divorce, it may be that you can tell him till you're blue in the face and he's not obligated to go anywhere.
2006-07-10 10:11:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him since the 2 of you are going to go your separate ways maybe now will be a good time for him to start looking for a place to live so that he can get use to living alone now rather than waiting until the last minute
2006-07-10 10:13:40 · answer #8 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am wonderful by the way, but my wife sat me down one day and asked ' what have I got to do to get you to leave, have an affair?'
I got the message and successfully found somewhere else within 3 weeks. We are now divorced too.
2006-07-10 10:09:00 · answer #9 · answered by Bill(56 yrs old) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,
Why do you think he is the one that should leave?
I don't really know your life, but I do believe in equal rights, so if you don't want to stay in this marriage you should consider moving out as well.
2006-07-10 10:10:39 · answer #10 · answered by joseclaudio2001us 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋