Babies very close in age?

Question

My daughter is almost 17 months and we are expecting our next in about three weeks. Does anyone have children close together like this? Did you do anything to prepare the older child for the baby's arrival? What was your childs reaction to the baby?

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences. I tell my daughter all the time about the new baby coming. If you ask her where the baby is she will pull up my shirt and sometimes she will even kiss the baby. But I know she doesn't really understand and I've been really worried that it will all be a big shock to her. Plus as much as I tell her to "be gentle" with our cat she treats him like a rag doll... that worries me a little.

Answer 1

My closest are 20 months apart.... They did great too!!! Having a dolly with a daiper bag and all the accesories is a great thing. (Even for an older brother!!) This way, they can feed, change, and push in a stroller, the doll, while mom is doing the same thing with the baby. Be sure start using the word GENTLE a lot!!

The other thing I was always very concious about, I never took anything from the older child because the baby was ready to start using it. If I knew I'd want to pass somthing on, I'd get the older child finished with it a few months (at least) before I'd need it for the baby. Like... the crib, I moved the older child into a toddler bed a few months before I needed the crib for the baby. And went to the trouble of dissapearing it for awhile as well. So, when it came back out, I wasn't taking his bed for her. He had his big boy bed, and now the baby sister was ready for the crib.

Also, be sure to set aside mommy and me time with the older child. Even if it's just reading a bedtime story each night. Just don't forget they are still themselves a baby, even at 17 months old...

Good luck!!

Answer 2

My boys are 16 months apart. We didn't do anything to really prepare our firstborn for his brother's arrival. He's been in daycare since he was 6 months old, so was used to kids of different ages. When we brought his brother home, at first he ignored him. The baby could be wailing his head off, and Jacob would just go about his own business, pretending like nothing was wrong. A few weeks later, he took an interest, and was very curious...he'd walk up to his brother and "pet" him, lol, kiss him, try to pick him up. We never did have any problems with hitting, kicking, biting, etc.

Now they're 28 months and 12 months, and they're fastly becoming best friends. :) The only thing my older son freaks out about is when his brother crawls over to get his Thomas the Tank Engine trains. The baby doesn't know how to play with them yet, so he just grabs them and slings them around, and Jacob freaks out. Other than that, life is good. :)

Answer 3

I think getting your daughter involved and clearly defining her role as a big sister really helps. As for being close, the experts say that having the 2nd sibling born when the 1st is 18 mos. old is very ideal. Looks like your timing is perfect! To help with the arrival, have her plan things for the baby... buying balloons to go outside the front of the house, take her to the store and have her pick out the baby's first teddy bear out and have her bring it to the hospital, get her a play doll as her baby to do some of the same things you do, let her help you pack the baby's coming home bag and maybe pick out the outfit he/she will be wearing home. Things that help her feel involved and an active participant in the whole event and celebration is great. Also, don't forget to get her a "big sister" T-Shirt that she can wear the day the baby comes home. She'll love it.

Congratulations and best wishes.

Answer 4

I think it depends on the personality and temperment of each individual child. My first and second are 20 months and everything has gone fine. But my oldest has never been a mommy's girl or very clingy, she's very independent and always does her own thing. Now that they are 3 years and 1 1/2 years they are best friends half of the time, the other half of the time they are fighting over everything...but it's not that bad. On the other hand I'm due with my third girl in a couple of weeks (20 months apart again) and since my second is really clingy I'm a little nervous. We'll see what happens.

Answer 5

i have a 5 year old, 3 year old, 17 month old and now due any day with number 4. I am not going to lie asnd say it is easy, but it will all be worth the stress. when they do get along it is sooo sweet and precious. I don't think u can really prepare them, just include them both in asmuch as possible and give them each their own mommy & daddy time.like when one has the baby make sure the other parent has the other one....it should be ok until the baby is about your first ones age then that is when sibling rivery gets tough..good luck

Answer 6

I found out I was pregnant with my daughter right before my sons 1st birthday. I don't know if there is a way to prepare an older sibling for a baby's arrival. I let him rub my belly & I told him he was going to have a little buddy to play with. My son was fine. He seemed protective of her somewhat. There were moments of jealousy, like if I was feeding my baby girl he would want on my lap & I just couldn't. These things are normal. Kids at that age are so young so they adjust fairly quickly. Just make sure that the older child dont feel left out or neglected. If you notice your daughter acting out or regressing, try to make a special time for just you & her everyday. Talk, color, play, whatever. Best of luck & congrats to you!

Answer 7

My sister-in-law had three children in 3 years!
First two were 14 months apart. The last one was born 18 months later.
Since her first son was still a baby himself, there wasn't any way to "prepare" him. He was too little. I don't remember him having any reaction really. He loved his new brother and they're still very close to this day because they're so close in age.

Answer 8

Too bad I left the directions at the Hospital.. My children are not near that close in age but boy did we get advice on the getting that child ready part, and now I am going to pass on the best infromation I can too you.---- Wing it!! Love your children as much as you can, watch their eyes as they look at the world and pray that you may again learn to see things this way.--- Watch them smile and smile with them.. Never and I mean never wish away a second of their short lives.. They are going to grow up way too fast..cherish every millisecond.. Keep scrap books and maybe a journal.. You and your kids will love this 10-20 years from now. Be willing to change your parenting techniques.. Don't spoil your children, teach them love and respect, teach them tollerance and understanding. Learn from them as much as they learn from you. Sleep in the same bed as them, (somtimes). Take long walks. Talk to them, Listen to music, swim the summer away. The sadest part of life for me is that it is all just one big gift, both the good and the bad, it can be taken from us at any second. I must learn to be grateful for every moment. Enjoy the good times, work and learn through the bad. No matter how dim the future seemes at times, do what ever it takes to make the future a bit brighter. Peace and Love.

Answer 9

if u will not ignore ur daughter n still pay attention to her also then she will love the younger kid. but when the elder kids r ignored at this young age then they start hating the younger ones. so love both the kids as elder one is not big enough to understand much. but as they grow they will be very close to each other as less age differense they will not have to find friends outside. n development of both will be good. tough time for u for at least one year but take help of ur elders if possible.

tell ur daughter before the baby arrives at home see u r gonna bring a baby for her. it will be her baby. so something of hers she will like

Answer 10

my children are 21 months apart the only thing i did to prepare my daughter was tell her all throughout the pregnancy that there was a baby in my belly and then when i had the baby she just figured it out on her own and knew it was baby
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