She goes out and wont tell me where or who she,s with. I beleive she may be cheating. I,ve caught with the guy she cheated on me with but she swears nothing is going on, and it,s just a accident that they ran into each other. I was told by a not so good source that she had an abortion last month and that he was the dad, but when I confronted her she denied it, and turned it all on me. I get angry over the fact that I love her and her kids, and treat them like my own, and she takes it for grantide, so I say some brutal things. I have never been abusive in any way but the things I say when my frustration level is high are real bad. She acts like she does not care how she,s hurting me and say,s "then just leave". How do you just leave the people you love, I cant bail on the baby,s that easy. Because she is so quick to tell me to go makes me believe that she is really cheating.
2006-07-10 01:53:08 · 14 answers · asked by Im leavin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
sounds as if you are being taken for a ride. she is using you as a built in babysitter and you are letting her.
it is never easy to leave the ones you love and care about, but there will come a time when you know it will be better for all concerned, yourself included, for you to leave this situation. you need to begin to put yourself first, decide what you want out of life. if she can't or won't help you meet those goals, then you need to leave and find the one who will.
best of luck to you.
2006-07-10 01:59:20 · answer #1 · answered by Plain_Common_Sense 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are fearing is a fact. It makes no difference if she is cheating with someone she does not have any attraction left for you, that is clear. I know how tough this is for you because I have been there.
When she has no response to how you are hurting it only means one thing. This
relationship has run it's course. You are well advised to move on.
I have learned something I truly wish I had known before my marriage broke up. She has no control over attraction. It is not something she gets up one day and decides, you know I am not going to be attracted to him anymore. It doesn't work that way. When she looses it, or has never had it, it is not her fault any more than you can help loving her.
Your frustration and pain, and lack of answers, are pushing her even further away. When a woman looses the attraction it is almost impossible to get it back. It's like asking her to give up her child for you. There is no way in hell she can do that even if she loved you with all her heart.
When you say some brutal things to her because you are hurt it is a form of abuse. Your wanting her to hurt because you are hurt.
You must be the man here and walk away. I know you love her kids and I guess you love her but what is happening is you are making your memory a bad one for that whole
family. Don't do that.
I was right where you are only with a wife of 37 years. But I soon found out that my fear of her having an affair was real. When I could see my pain did not bother her I knew what I had to do.
I am married again and am still friends with my first wife all be it distant. It was the
hardest thing I ever have had to face but I got through it and, from the other side, I see
why it happened and why it was for the best. You can too. You deserve a woman that
loves you and you must move on to find it.
2006-07-10 09:32:13 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying in a bad relationship for the kids sake is never a good excuse.You dont want them growing up thinking that yelling and screaming is a normal way of life.If your heart tells you she is cheating she probably is.Just have to deal with a broken heart and move on before she makes your temper turn into physical abuse.Good luck God bless:O)
2006-07-10 10:45:59 · answer #3 · answered by melissa_froggies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look man if she is this type of person then i think there is 2 advise from me to you, 1st, just leave her but maybe have the kids to be with you because you won't know what she will do right?. The 2nd, try to apologise to her and to tell her maybe something like "lets start everything fresh from the start" maybe this could let the 2 of you get together again and no Kids will be hurt. Anyway Best of luck to you man.
2006-07-10 08:59:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her. What are you gaining from this relationship? It seems you are always frustrated and wondering what she is doing. All these rumors! The girl is sleeping with other men. Forget her. Get out! Stop using the children as an excuse to stay with her.
2006-07-10 09:33:12 · answer #5 · answered by strawberries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, she's cheatin dude. It will hurt for a while. Just get a darn good lawyer and fight for your kid. You don't have to bail on the baby when you leave the relationship, and you'll be a better parent when you are not hurting.
2006-07-10 09:17:28 · answer #6 · answered by stratplayer1967 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen ........ i understand u ........ at a point i was at the girl...... tell my man to just leave ........ it was so easy to say it........ but yes it was cuz i was cheating........ she wont realize it that it's to late once u leave her ..... I mean it's hard to find someone who will love u'r kids as if they were theirs........ u need to get out of this realtionship that will affect u in the long run cuz then u'll iss treat the wrong people........ Good Luck
2006-07-10 09:16:09 · answer #7 · answered by •°♥Ms. SeXy♥°• 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women are soo sneaky!! Look if you don't think she's cheating (i think she is) then put the shoe on the other foot and see how she likes it.
And if you think she is (she is) make it hurt. Take her somewhere, out of state like on a vacation or something, then just leave her *** there.
2006-07-10 09:09:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody deserves to be anybody else's punching bag. You'll hurt when you decide you've had enough...but it is nothing compared to how badly she'll hurt you if you stay.
Leave, take some time to heal, and then find someone who is worthy of your devotion and is willing to return your feelings.
2006-07-10 08:58:06 · answer #9 · answered by AlloAllo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
" I get angry over the fact that I love her and her kids" does this mean that you're not his wife. if not you're getting a bit over the fence there pls stop going over the fence but instead on the fence if you get what i mean.
if you're the husband then you should prepare for the owrst and pray for the best
2006-07-10 08:59:51 · answer #10 · answered by Croasis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋