My wife seems less interested in sex as time passes by. Is this normal for married couples?

Question

We've been married 5 yrs and are both around 26, it just seems she is less interested in sex w/ me as the years go by. When we were dating, it seemed like we would have sex all the time but now there are always excuses like "my head hurts" or "i don't feel like it right now". The other night I wanted to give her oral but she refused. Is this just normal in a marriage? I just can't see a man turning down oral. I'm frustrated and don't want to resort to cheating, any advice on this would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

Dude....how about you start "romancing" her along time before you make it to the bedroom??? You can't just jump her after a hard day. Start in the morning...set your clock early; and just cuddle with her for a few minutes. Have a lunch date, if possible. If not, as soon as she gets home, treat her to a glass of wine and maybe a back rub. STAY AWAY FROM SEX FOR THE MOMENT ! Put your love and affection into pleasing her and relaxing her...and not being so pushy. How about cooking dinner? How about picking up your underwear? How about putting the seat down? You get what I'm saying here? Put her needs FIRST...not only in the bedroom and I promise you, you won't be online looking for pointers.

Answer 2

You guys are young. You will go through a lot of stuff like this in your marriage. It's not easy. I have been married 22 years. Best advice..communication! It's the key.Be able to ask her talk to her about why she isn't in the mood. Women take longer to get warmed up than you guys do. If you wanna get some action start hours before hand. I mean do nice little things. Whisper sexy thoughts in her ear..phone sex, and tell her how much she turns you on. If she doesn't respond after some time tell her you think you both need some counseling. Good Luck!

Answer 3

The desire to have sex has to be mutal. Yes this is normal in marriage. Believe me I've went through it. I know it makes you feel undesired by your spouse. There could be things stressing your wife out work, children, etc. If her mind isn't there then the physical attraction won't be either. Most men don't realize women have to be physically, emotionally, and mentally there to preform sexual acts especially w/ someone they love. For women it's not just about the physical part of sex (like w/ men).
FYI: It's not just women who turn down sex. Men have turned down sex in marriages too.
Try romancing your wife and lead up to sex. Some women find it a turn off when their husband just asks for sex. It makes us feel like all you want is the physical motion, not the emotional connection. Your married her because you love her, right? Then show her you love her and not just w/ a hard penis.

Answer 4

Coming from a woman's point of view. If you are not doing what it takes to get her in the mood it will not happen. there is a difference between men and women. Men can get excited easy and blow. A woman has to have or wants a good climax. ( I do anyways). try some new things. Add some spice in your sex life. Things that you might not think she likes she might. Never know until you try.

I hope it all works out! Nothing worse then being sexless.

Answer 5

It is normal. But what you can do is take her on a picnic or to a resort or some romantic place.
Give her a head massage if her head aches, get her in the mood. Dont direclty get down under the belt rather start with teh forplay.. it does help.
Start the passionate kiss on the navel or at the back of the neck.

If you directly go down she is not in a mood.
Also find out the reason. you can also discuss with her as to when she wants to have it.. You will get what you want.


smile always..

Answer 6

I’m in the same situation.

First she tells me she is tired from all the house work, so I took on more chores, now I vacuum, do the laundry, and all the outdoor gardening.
Then she tells me she wants to go out more, romantic dinner movies shows, did that to, for the 6 months, also go rig of my magazines.
She tells me I don’t think of her enough, again I bring flowers, stuffed animals, every so often.
She loves pets, sorry adores pets, now I got a zoo, started with one cat, now I have 4, with 2 birds, and 2 hamsters.
She loves the pets, as if it were her kids, She loves her pets more than me, they can do no wrong. I clean their cages, clean their barf.
Now I do not get any sleep, birds screech at first light, cats jump allover the bed all through the night.
We talk about having a night of intimate relationship, she passes out early in the evening, and does not wake up until later. Then she hops into bed, so I try to seduce her but tells me to stop, because she wants to take a shower first, or I get her too wet. By the time she does take a shower it’s 2 to 3 in the morning, I’m asleep and exhausted.
She tells me she wants it at 2 to 3 in the morning, I’m up doing my chores I’m exhausted. And need my sleep, that’s if I get any, that is un-interrupted.
Maybe once a month she will play with me about 4am, because she wants it, I’ll wake up, but it lulls me back to sleep. The next morning I don’t hear the end of it because I passed up an opportunity ( ya right opportunity for who ).
She tells me, she does not me, I asked her why, she said when I’m with her I notice other girls, I started noticing more women a few months ago, before I was discreet,
I told here if I had something to look at I would not need to, I told here what do you expect, you want it with, lights off, pitch black, I forgot what a woman looks like, I tell her us guys as visual creatures, deaf ears.
She gets jealous every time I speak to another woman, in stores, basically anywhere.

Been married for almost 20 years.
You girls wonder why we pleasure ourselves,
Frankly I miss the loving relational ship I once had.
Married 5 years, I’ve got almost 20, my opinion, it’s only going to get worse.

Signed
Tired
Lonely &
Sexless

Answer 7

I work in a salon and this topic comes up alot with our women clients ( All he wants to do is have sex...) I would have to say better than 65-70% of women who are married just dont want to have sex as much as their husbands do. Most common answer is tiredness, also most of these women work outside the home and also have children.

Answer 8

As a married woman younger than you guys by a year, I can say that the sex is probably boring or uninteresting to her. I used to hate my husband's oral skills and after 6 years I was tired of it. I told him exactly how I wanted it and now I love it. Try asking your spouse what she wants exactly or what you can do to make things better.

Answer 9

Well you need to make sure that before you treat her good all day... Compliment her... take care of needs for her and not just sexual ones... foreplay can stem anywhere from... when you walk by her grab her and hug her... just a touch of her hand... a compliment anything.. not just oral. We will not be in the mood if we are busting our asses cleaning and cooking and such... We need a break too... I would suggest stop asking for sex for a few days and just pamper her while you wait then in 2 or 3 days try to make it as special as you can for her and she will respond well.

Answer 10

may be she doesnt like it? Maybe you could try a different position to entice her. or be more spontaneous. not same old hum drum all the time. Maybe she's wanting to be treated like she's someone special? Not just something you use at bedtime. Think about your actions and make it more exciting and romantic she may change her tune........ cheating is never an option. More like marriage counseling is.