Is it right to tell a christian woman to leave her abusive husband?

Question

I have a mission to empower on the lessons of living, loving and learning, and as i go about this mission, i am often faced with the dilema of Gods word "I hate divorce" and advicing a woman to leave an abusive marriage to safeguard her emotional and psychological well-being as well as that of her children. I am of the viewpoint that the Bible does not imply that we remain in marriage regardless..............some religious leaders frown at this. Could i have some thought through suggestions and contributions to this debate please. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME

As well as physical well-being

Answer 1

The religion of the individuals has nothing to do with it. If a person is in trouble, they need to get help, even if that means getting out.

If you are woried about being at odds with your bible, consider this: Your vaulted ten commandments state clearly: THOU SHALT NOT KILL. Look at the statistics for domestic violence. "Every year in the United States, 1,000 to 1,600 women die at the hands of their male partners, often after a long, escalating pattern of battering."

Answer 2

It is right to tell a woman (or more rarely, a man) of any faith that they should leave an physically, mentally or emotionally abusive partner. It is also extremely difficult as generally the abused person makes excuses for the abuser. It is necessary to support someone who should leave - give a woman the contact details for her nearest women's refuge. They will usually accept children although I know there can be problems.
One main reason for staying is that a woman may not have an idependent source of income (some men delight in making sure they know exactly what their wife is doing at all times and keep her short of money to control her) and thus may be worried about how she can afford to leave.
She may also be worrying about the children. Just remember that research has shown that child abuse and domestic violence often go hand-in-hand.
Whilst not a christian, I find it hard to think that any religion would force a woman to stay in an abusive situation. Life is not a punishment, it is surely about realising your talents and abilities and helping make the world a more wonderful place to live in.

Answer 3

I am always amazed by some Christians and the Clergy and their beliefs in regard to not advising a person to leave an abusive relationship. I will make the assumption that they also frown on suicide, so I have to ask the question, if a woman or man is in an abusive relationship and can find no other avenue of resolving the abuse the Christian Adviser should not only encourage them to leave the abuser, they should consider that staying in an abusive situation is suicide, and if children are involved, it is child abuse to allow them to remain in that situation. What is the difference in self abuse and mutilation and the allowing of another person to abuse us, I see them as the same. Like I said, if children are involved that person is the only one with power enough to protect them by leaving the abuser. Why is that so difficult to rectify with the teachings of Christ. Of course counciling should be on the table and reconciliation an option but safety of the person is the First and Foremost Priority. Christ would step between the abuser and the abused, can we do no less?

Answer 4

I say yes it's ok to tell a Christian woman to leave her abusive husband. I myself as a Christian woman am doing just that. Cause I know my God does not want me in an unhappy spot.

Answer 5

You mentioned the title - religious leaders and you used it correctly for it was the religious leaders that set Jesus up, it was them that was going to stone the woman while Jesus said, You without sin cast the first stone.
God hates sin, He hates divorce. You must ask what would Jesus do? If Jesus was to walk into your home and fine the abuse going on would He say, your going to be ok, this is the Lord's will for you or would He say this is not God's will for your life. Come with me! I would recommend to you to seek refuge firstly from the abuser, then healing from a Christian ministry that can stand with you in this time of need. Remember the end will be greater then the former. God has great plans for you just take a step from the enemy as Scripture says, the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy. This is whats happening to you. The sadness is that too many wearing the title of Christian are far from being Christlike. For Jesus would separate you from the abuse, restore your confidence and self esteem and then point you in a path of wholeness.

Answer 6

Let them frown away. The only lives you're concerned about is yours and your children.
No woman, christian or otherwise should stay in an abusive relationship, especially with children involved who are eyewitnesses to the abuse.
You have got to wonder how can they grow up with respect for you or any other woman? If they are girls, that's worse. She will think that this is how men are supposed to act.
Know that God never intended for woman to be man's punching bag, and He will be pleased that you leave that situation. God wants the best for all of us, and your situation is clearly not the best for you and your children. There are
agencies that can help you. Leave now, before he beats you down to a bloody pulp, or kills you.
Then he would probably be raising your children by himself, with his ungodly behaviors.
The bible does say you can leave in cases of adultery, but only because when it was written,
there weren't men beating or abusing their wives. Get out before he kills you or tears you down to the point you start believing it. Your kids will thank you for it much later. They don't deserve to live in that mess.

Answer 7

If this woman has comee to you for counsel in regards to abuse, you really need to hear from the other side. Get the story from both view points. If the woman is clearly battered I would have her take shelter is a safe house of some kind.

And yes, it's ok to advise a woman to leave her husband if there is evidences of abuse. This is your moral obligation to protect this woman and her children from her abuser.

You're not advocating that she divorce....just leave him until he gets counseling.

Answer 8

When I went through my divorce I spoke with a customer of mine that is a pentacostal minister, he gave me some very wise words.

1. Divorce is sin in Gods eyes
2. What do you do when you sin? Repent
3. If you read the first chapter of Matthew, you will see that in the blood line of Jesus there is:
a. an adulter (King David)
b. a murder (King David)
c. a prositute (Rahab)
d. an exibitionist (Bathsheba)
(this list goes on)

The Apostle Paul was Saul of Tarsus before his conversion on the Road To Damascus, yet he wrote most of the New Testament and is considered the founder of many churches that still exist today.

Peter denied Jesus THREE TIMES, yet he's considered to be the founder of the Christian church.

God has a way of taking and using the worst and most terrible things and people and using them to show who he truely is and what he can truely do. It wouldn't be a miracle if Bill Gates donated 50 thousand dollars to his church, would it? But when a person goes from the depths to the hieghts, that is a miracle.

Moses was given a writ of divorce under certain circumstances, look that up.

Answer 9

It is not up to YOU to TELL a woman to divorce her abusive husband. You can suggest she seek help, like at a woman's shelter. But since you don't indicate that you have a degree or license in marriage counseling you really have no right to tell someone to get a divorce. If they are being abused once their spouse gets wind that they have filed for divorce the spouse could go ballistic and beat her so badly she lands in the hospital or on a slab in the morgue....and it would be all thanks to you. How's that for a "mission"

Answer 10

I stayed in a marriage because I believed that I had made a life time commitment to the man and to God. I don't even know where to begin to tell what happened.

When I finally felt that I was justified in leaving I was to the point where I was unsure if I would surrive emotionally, physically, spiritually. I felt I would die if I stayed. My two youngest children suffered deeply because I stayed. My youngest had multible suiside attempts. He also didn't want to have anything to do with God because of his father. He turned to drugs and drink at the age of 12. Yesterday was the fourth year anniversary of his death at the age of 21. My other two children have suffered and still do.

Both of my youngest were institutionalized as teenagers. The price they paid because I stayed married to their father, because I was a Christian, is tradgic.

I waited much too long, I also didn't go to my Christian brothers and sisters becasue I felt it was personal. I made so many mistakes because I felt I was a Christian.

My story is huge and it continues. I could write a book, infact I have been told to write my story and I just can't....even though it has been close to ten years now. I am still paying the price for not standing up for myself.

I don't want to go into too much detail here, but I would be willing to discuss this in more detail if you wish in a more private setting- like email. I am [e-mail]

Answer 11

some Christians and the Clergy and their beliefs in regard to not advising a person to leave an abusive relationship. I will make the assumption that they also frown on suicide, so I have to ask the question, if a woman or man is in an abusive relationship and can find no other avenue of resolving the abuse the Christian Adviser should not only encourage them to leave the abuser, they should consider that staying in an abusive situation is suicide, and if children are involved, it is child abuse to allow them to remain in that situation. What is the difference in self abuse and mutilation and the allowing of another person to abuse us, I see them as the same. Like I said, if ch