I invited my good friend of 13 years, an ex boyfriend of mine on holiday to Florida but he turned me down, saying I was manipulative and stated that he thought it was a trick to try and get back together with him.
I don't want to get back with him I just want a friend who I and our son can hang out with whilst away.
I feel so offended. What should I do?
2006-07-10 01:15:33 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
you have every right to be offended.now get over it and find a friend who will be there,to hang out and to hang in.he doesnt even deserve you.he is the manipulative one in making you believe he was a friend when he wasnt.forget about him.you deserve and will find someone better. you will soon be asking yourself why you ever wasted your time being his mate.keep your head up and smile...
2006-07-10 01:32:54 · answer #1 · answered by leah c 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I'm assuming this man is the father of your son and if so you don't elaborate on what kind of a father he is overall. I'm also assuming you are simply going on vacation and live in the same general area as one another. If all this is true then you should accept his reasons for not wanting to make the vacation trip with you because in all fairness as far as he's concerned the relationship has been over for a long time and he doesn't feel comfortable taking a long distance vacation alone with you. Not all men would feel this way but obviously he does and in the best interest of yoru son, assuming this man is the father and he's been responsible all these years, then why create an issue that might have negative affects.
2006-07-10 01:24:17 · answer #2 · answered by fun_guy_otown 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that at some level, you were hoping to get back with him. There would be no other reason to invite an ex on a vacation with you and your son. You may not be ready to admit it but sounds like you still care for him and want him to be a part of the whole 'family' thing. I think that, if he has no intention of continuing the relationship, he did the kind thing, by not leading you on. How does your son feel about him? If your son would, really, like him as a step-dad, then it is not fair to your son for this man to go with you.That only builds up your son's hopes, and then he gets hurt, again.
2006-07-10 01:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by georgiapeach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you not thought that he may not want to go to Florida with you? You have to respect his wishes, you cannot make him do something that he doesn't want too. It is not a slur against your son, just the situation. Why not suggest a day trip together first, after all Florida is a long way to get stuck in a difficult situation. Take it step by step and let the relationship grow at its own rate instead of forcing it.
2006-07-10 01:19:33 · answer #4 · answered by traveleze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, being that he is your ex, he probably wondered if there was an ulterior motive - even though it's clear to me there isn't one. I understand why you feel bad, I would too - but you must accept his answer and move on. I used to email an ex of mine all the time - and he would always write back...now he no longer does and I think it's because the more he wrote, the more his feelings came back and yet he knew we weren't getting back together so he had to let go. I think your ex is just letting go...it's OK. Good luck!!
2006-07-10 03:06:10 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have feelings for him ?
Does he know that it is both of your son.
If he does not want to spend time with his son that means he does not care about him
What you have asked is not uncalled for as you feel that it is for the sons benefit to be with the biological father
You can talk to him and tell him that you are not asking him to be with you and that it is for the son. If he has any feelings than he should come.Else it is not worth him as a father.
Though he is a good friend he is not into you. and he has some other things in mind.
2006-07-10 01:22:43 · answer #6 · answered by Smile 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunni, I feel that if he thinks that of you is he really a good friend?- you need to think about that to me it loolks like he feels that once the relationship is over there is no need for any kind of friendship which I dont agree with - maybe you should consider someone else as a friend to go with because he doesnt seem liek a good choice if you wont (if you think it is worth it) just tell him that you didnt wont to get back with himand tell him exactly what you wonted. you should feel affended because you had no alteria motive and he seemed to think you did- I dont think you are being childish at all or being a human with feelings and you need to tell him how you felt about it-- i hoped that helped email me anytime-- pinkfeverpink@yahoo.co.uk
2006-07-10 02:20:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't there anyone else you can ask?
You're not going to change your ex's attitude so there is no point pursuing him. I would imagine you've changed since you broke up so his perception of you is outdated. Give up being offended and look on the bright side - you may discover someone a whole lot nicer.
2006-07-10 01:19:36 · answer #8 · answered by FontOfNoKnowledge 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on? It's his choice if he wants to make that judgement. Tell him the truth (after the holiday is over, so he can't misinterpret) then let it be. There's no law saying he can't make a silly mistake. Carry on your own life and if he wants to join you in some part of it let him come to you.
I think.
2006-07-10 01:18:14 · answer #9 · answered by wild_eep 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Our son"? Is the "ex boyfriend" the father? That has major impact on the response.
If he's not, then his response to your invitation shows he's not a "friend," so look elsewhere.
If he is your son's father, he needs to hang out with your son, but he need not hang out with your son and you.
Don't be offended; re-focus.
2006-07-10 01:19:55 · answer #10 · answered by Tad Dubious 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about it.You and your son go and have the time of your life.I have found that when men turn out to be horrible,your children are the best comfort and most loving to hang out with,they exept you for who you are,not for something they want you to be.Good luck God bless:O)
2006-07-10 01:20:25 · answer #11 · answered by melissa_froggies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋