i have been with my common law 23 yrs. She is a beautiful lady. But she is mean! She insults me whenever we around her family members. Is this a lack of respect? I am unemployed because of my arthritis but an still able to do many things. I am gentle. very nice person. I am thinking on leaving and not coming back. We live in a native community full of crackheads and thieves and we really have nothing here but her job. we want to move, she doesn't. HELP
2006-07-10 01:13:56 · 17 answers · asked by mickmanster1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Twenty-three years? Sorry, but I think you're as addicted to her as the crackheads are to their drugs. Try to find the bright moments, and live in those ... especially if there are children. Good luck.
2006-07-10 01:17:12 · answer #1 · answered by Tad Dubious 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no excuse for this woman to call you horrible names and yes, sweetie, I think it is a lack of respect. Us women can get strange ideas inside our little heads at times and maybe she has the idea that somehow, because you are not providing for her, as in going out to work, that you do not deserve her respect. YOU DO! Tell her that you are unhappy about the way she speaks to you and that you are not happy living in such a run-down deprived area, that you want better for the both of you. If she can't see the error of her ways or refuses to listen then I think you should leave, even if it is just for a little while, to get your head sorted. You don't have to give her an ultimatum or anything, but time apart may make her realise what a diamond she would be giving up!
I'm sorry for your present unhappiness but stay strong and I am sure things will work out for you. Good luck!
2006-07-10 08:19:09 · answer #2 · answered by Tatsbabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is a nice guy like you doing in that environment? If you stay there much longer it will crush you. A strange thing happens to personalities for some, when they become the main source for financial income. the darkest part of human nature tends to rear up the ugly face from the heart.And just the language in the air from the environment you live in is an undercurrent of irritation for her she may not be aware of how it does influence her marriage with you, and if there is no priestly godhead not the kind most known from brutality, but communication and being in agreement.this is just a beginning, if you are a believer in the one who created the institution of marriage and by his very presence there in . then I would say , pray to Him and build your relationship with him, and may your spirit quicken to His truth.amen
2006-07-10 08:30:14 · answer #3 · answered by writer05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 23 years, leaving would be a huge mistake. What you need to do is be a little less gentle so that she can feel just the way you do. it's sad how some people don't appreciate what they have. Maybe you should try to talk to her, but if that doesn't help then you only have one thing to do: change your attitude.
2006-07-10 08:20:33 · answer #4 · answered by monalisa m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she insults you, you should call her on it. It may sound mean to you for awhile, but if you practice in your head sounding calm and rational, you may be able to come across as assertive.
See how this affects her. It could be she has lost some respect for you. It happens. People take people for granted, she is human, can make mistakes. Give her a chance.
But, leave if you need to keep your soul intact after that.
Good luck, Sweetie.
2006-07-10 08:18:09 · answer #5 · answered by oldsoul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communicate with her! If the two of you are having trouble doing it on your own...get couple's counseling. Why would you want to throw away 23 years without giving it every effort possible?
2006-07-10 08:19:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
number one, yes her dogging you in front of anyone is a definite lack of respect for you!!!!!!!
number two, if your arthritis is so bad you can not work, then go on disability at least that is some income.
number three, if you enjoy the treatment you are getting stay...if not...leave her butt in the dirt and move on
2006-07-10 08:19:17 · answer #7 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is lack of respect-get on with your life-move.Most shack jobs disrepect one another because neither have made a "real" commitment;additionally, stats PROVE that those who live together before marriage & DO MARRY have higher divorce rates! OH YES VERY IMPORTANT;SEEK COUNSELING PLENTY OF FREE AGENCIES OUT THERE
2006-07-10 08:18:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might be depressed sometimes people belittle others to make themselves look good because they feel crappy about themselves and they usually take it out on the ones they love the most because they feel the most comfortable around them in order to belittle them... weigh up the pros and cons, would you be better off without her? If the answer is no tell her how you feel open up to her.
2006-07-10 08:19:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to her about how you feel first. Maybe she doesn't realize what she's doing. You have been together too long now to throw it all away without trying to work things out first.
2006-07-10 08:16:35 · answer #10 · answered by drumrchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋