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I am an EXTREMELY shy person.. Very social-phobic... I haven't had a friend in quite some time... I have even forgotten how to make a friend.. Please help me!!

2006-07-09 23:38:43 · 16 answers · asked by abbas_n_chantel 2 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

Okay, well, I have a job.. Just started it last Friday.. And if any of you guys wanna add me to your messengers:

yahoo: abbas_n_chantel
MSN: abbasnchantel@hotmail.com
AIM: abbasnchantel

2006-07-10 00:01:45 · update #1

16 answers

Try meetup.com -- lots of groups with varied interests that meet up all over the world.

I just recently moved to Dublin, Ireland with my girlfriend and discovered the site as a way to meet friends. We've had great success with it, and now have a circle of friends we hang out with regularly.

2006-07-09 23:40:48 · answer #1 · answered by joeynkara 2 · 0 0

My way of making friends these days is right here on the computer. I have made friends all over the world just by being here and I love to have friends in places I may never get to in my life and you can learn alot more about the world on here than you can in a Bar or a Club So you look, you can find them close to you and far away. There is other people out here like you that are looking for friends also. Friends can help each other just by being a friend.

2006-07-10 06:42:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0 0

You could start right here by allowing yourself the opportunity to chat with people until you find a few you really feel comfortable with and then spend more time getting to know just them. Soon you will allow yourself to open up and find that shyness begin to slip into the background with those people. Once you do this then you will have learned how to overcome your shyness and be able to control it.

2006-07-10 06:45:48 · answer #3 · answered by fun_guy_otown 6 · 0 0

I feel your pain, honey. While I myself am an extreme extrovert, I have several friends who are extremely shy and who find it almost painful to make new friends.

Do you feel comfortable about doing things like taking a continuing education class or joining a book discussion group?
Continuing ed is a good choice, because you tend to meet people with the same interests. The fact that everyone is focused on the instructor helps at first with the discomfort of being with strangers. Usually, at some point, you begin to discuss what you are learning with other students, and that's a great opening for meeting new people. When I was in college, I met a lot of cool people I would not have normally met. They were kind of scared of me because I am so outgoing, but they seemed more comfortable about opening up when it came to discussing projects or each other's writing, etc. Eventually, when they found out I am just a regular woman, they opened up and felt a lot more comfortable and we were able to become friends. The same thing goes for book discussion groups. You can go and just listen and not make a lot of comments until you feel more comfortable with the people there. Eventually, you will probably feel confident enough to speak up on some subject for discussion, and you can use that as a launching pad for further friendships. I know that where I live, Barnes & Noble bookstores all have discussion groups. That's nice, because afterward, people can just go to the instore cafe and continue the discussions if they like.

My other suggestions would be joining a group of some type, like an exercise group or a crafting/ hobby group, or volunteering some time at an organization in need of volunteers. I know in my community those are all easy to find. For example, the crafts stores in my area all offer classes in various things, from scrapbooking to photography. And there is a section in our local newpaper about organizations who need volunteers to come in and work in their offices and do things like answer phones, or do paperwork.

I think the main thing is that you do something that interests you. You are sure to meet people who share your interests, and you can develop friendships that way. The fact that you are there to do something specific, rather than just to meet people, helps make it easier to either pursue relationships or not. I am married, but we do still go to bars and clubs occasionally, and I don't know how anyone meets people there. They are noisy, and everyone seems to just be looking to hook up, not to really establish relationships. Also, a lot of people at clubs and bars seem to be pretty superficial, and looking for just a quick fix, rather than something a little more lasting.

As for how to make a friend...well, just be yourself. One of the best ways to get to know someone is to ask them about themselves or their opinions on things. People are flattered that you care enough to ask, and they will often tell you quite a bit about themselves. And don't be afraid to tell someone, if you really hit it off, that you'd like to hang out again. I have made several friends simply by telling them after we have met that I would like to go to lunch, or giving them my phone number and telling them to give me a call so we can continue our conversation. Sometimes it doesn't work out very well, and I find out I really don't want to know them, but sometimes I also end up with a nice new friend.

Whatever you do, don't just sit at home and be alone. I am sure it is quite scary, probably more frightening than I can imagine, but you'll never succeed if you don't put yourself out there and give it a try.

Good luck :)

2006-07-10 07:12:30 · answer #4 · answered by Bronwen 7 · 0 0

If you go to uni (college) try there like strike up a conversation with the person you sit next to. Or you could try where you work or maybe a social group near to where you live.

2006-07-10 06:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It is automaticaly done at work or other places. If you don't have a job you should get one. You could also do volunteer work at one place or a few places. That way you will meet really nice people who like helping others.

2006-07-10 06:43:03 · answer #6 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0 0

you really should get some counselling, to get over your phobia. it really disadvantages you. i was shy too when younger, but just had to force myself that opportunities were missed out on because of my shyness. i am still no life of the party, but def it is easier to make friends.

Get psychological help! seriously, don't limit yourself to just internet friends.

2006-07-10 06:44:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Then just go somehere else try the mall

2006-07-10 06:41:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

try to have a conversation with your neighbors, and smiles to everyone that way you can begin how to make friends.

2006-07-10 06:45:31 · answer #9 · answered by happylittletoes 6 · 0 0

Generally, girls are born shy,it is its nature.Make your self friendly
help others, think yourself your doing good to others, then you will
have many friends.

2006-07-10 06:53:02 · answer #10 · answered by shariffkhayum 2 · 0 1

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