A sweet Sexy 28 yr old doctor girl.18yrs younger. Loves me.Complex exciting situation.need clear advise.Urgent

Question

I am a bizman in Blore,India.This girl is practicing in a hospital in New Delhi.I have a loving wife,great kids.finances are a bit tight at the moment.but in 6-8 months should be more than enough money.I meet her once in 20 days.spend the night.we have great sex life.we speak for almost one hr a day on phone.She loves me.She still wants to find someone and get married by next year.she does not want my family life to get disturbed.i hate it when she gets to meet men with marriage on her mind.Our age gap also bothers her-what will friends and relatives say is the question.She once or twice said ...she might be using me.She has strong sexual urges and needs.Wants to meet me and have sex atleast once in 15 days.In the past she dated many men-just for sex.last 18 months or so she has been exclusive.She still gets attracted to men very easily.but shares every thought with me honestly.I long for her.Its affecting my concentration on work.Q:What should i do and make of this relationship?

sometimes i think... if get enough money in business,,i will give a large amount to my wife.This will take care of my family for life.I can still be a good father.I can then start a new life.In this case my girlfriend may agree.After all we have only one life.Yeah there are concerns about huge age gaps.One more thing,this girl was on verge of a mental breakdown and depressed when we met 3yrs back.Today she is almost 95% ok.She and her parents think that my love and guidance has brought her back from a hopeless state.They say i am god for them and her,Whenever i have tried to FADE away-she slid back into depression and destructive behavior.She keeps telling me that her marriage will be tough for me.She last week offered to remain unmarried for life-to keep our relationship going,to avoid hurting me...But on most occasions she has a very strong urge to get married...get beautiful status of happily married woman in the society.Q:should i quit this relationship?when and how?

Answer 1

Hmmm tough question. Avoiding the obvious "you shouldn't be cheating on your wife you smelly sack of sh!t" statement, I gotta say it seems like a lose-lose situation for you. If you leave her, you'll live with the guilt of letting her slink back into her depression and possible suicide. If you leave your wife, assuming you still have feelings for her, you'll have to live with the guilt of severely hurting her emotionally. Money means nothing when you love someone. It's what they do to you that counts. This girl is pretty good considering she doesn't want to ruin your family, and is pursuing a long term relationship.. It also seems like she doesn't know what she wants. If she didn't get all depressed I'd say take the relationship down a notch and just be friends, HEY maybe if you stay in contact with her, she won't get all depressed, but you can also just be friends and let her find someone in her own generation to marry! lol;D
In my personal opinion that's what you should do. I'm sure when you married your wife you did vow to be loyal, and being a real man usually involves keeping your word. I'm not sure about what to do about the lack of concentration, but I'm sure your intelligent enough that you can come up with a solution on your own. Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

When you are young, your mother and father are the most important people in your life. When you marry, all that changes. The sexual bond is so deep that nothing and no one should be allowed to interfere with it except death.

If you break up after having sex, you leave a bit of yourself with your wife, and she with you. This has nothing to do with feelings, and everything to do with what God has done to bring you together in marriage.

So divorcing your wife is not an option. And staying with this woman is not an option either. Think about your own integrity. Do not let her try to set you up in the position of a god in her life - there is only one God, and you are not He.

Her emotional needs are ultimately between her and God, if she chooses to be depressed when you distance yourself from her, that is her problem. You must answer to God for your actions, not for hers.

So yes, you should quit this relationship, you should do it now, and you should do it by apologizing profusely to her that you allowed yourself to get into this situation in the first place, since you are married. If necessary, explain why marriage has such an effect.

And most importantly, encourage her to seek her happiness in God, not in you. Show her that it is her perceptions of a situation that make her unhappy, rather than the situation itself.

Help her to find a way to think about your situation - that you will not be together anymore - in a way that takes this into account. This is the best present you can give her.

And yourself - for obviously if you are going to tell her this, you need to be doing it yourself.

Think about it - may God bless you with the strength and wisdom to do the right thing and choose to love your wife, exclusively, for the rest of the days He gives you together.

Answer 3

I would say that age really don't make that bit of a difference but sounds to me that if all she wants is sex that ask yourself is it really worth losing your family over? Put your own needs aside and think what did your family do to deserve a selfish man like you? You put your own personal needs for satisfaction in front of everything else sounds like that girl is messed up in the head and needs the help. But then again u already messed up your family suituation by giving in anyway a long time ago so just tell your family and let them begin healing and get on with their lives cause it is not fair to them to have to be involved in your messed up life. And always remember carma, what goes around will come around and maybe in 5 years that girl will do the same to u after u giving up your family for that thinking it will work being all happy and stuff and then one day she tells u she is with someone younger. Most important. BE HONEST to yourself and your family.

Answer 4

this girl is confused. don't get caught in her web. You will end up paying for it. Keep your focus on your family, that is where lies your hapiness later. The 3 questions that you asked at the end are geared towards you wanting to get outof this relationship. So do it. It will hurt but at least you will have the memory. It is better to love and loose than to never love at all.

Answer 5

Her urge for marriage is understandable. Same is with Sex.
But she is combining both with separate persons which could invite trouble.
Just see if you would be able to satisfy her in long run.
The age gap would take its toll 10 years down the line.
Better let her find mates and you are already enjoying your pound of flesh.

Answer 6

You are being selfish by continuing your relationship with her. End it as gracefully as you can. You will end up destroying your family and loose the girlfriend.

Answer 7

mr,
i read ur query and considered it, i m 18 female but i think i can advice a mature person too.
my advice to u is u dont ruin d gal's as well as ur wife's life, cos if u marry her, and leave ur wife, wat will ur wife do, after u when she is not at fault, y r u punishing her? she had given u wat she had, already, now who will marry her? wid ur children? if u would not have children, then there was no problem, she can marry someone else. have u ever thought wat will happen to ur children, wat will b the father's name of ur children.
sir, i strongly advice u, not to go for dis. u'll in d way destroy many people's life
and u urself said dat she has strong desire for sex, maybe she loves u only for sex and nothing else. wat if she goes anywhere else after u marry her, just for sex. will u like it ? just imagine ur wife going somewhere else, imagine ur wife thinking like dis, if she wants to marry someone else and wants to leave u wid ur children, then? j
just consider dis and only then take any decision. u can mail me at [e-mail]

Answer 8

You have a wife and kids and are cheating???????
Sounds like you're looking for a disease to give to your wife.

Answer 9

first i think you should read you own post, as if it was someone elses. you should leave her... immediately. If she tries to blackmail you, ignore her - she's playing with you and it will NEVER work.

good luck!

Answer 10

she is a whore that will destroy yr life. avoid her