I am married to a Muslim man but he is so cold towards me?

Question

I have been married to him for nearly 2 years and for the first 6 months he was very loving,always cuddling me,kissing me and telling me he loved me.
Now he never does any of those things.
I am a Christian and i told him i would not become Muslim but now he is putting pressure on me to become Muslim.
I love him but he is so cold towards me that he breaks my heart almost daily.
Should i just tell him it is over and save myself a load of grief

Answer 1

I am really concerned, cos i am a muslim too. A good solution i think is for you to ask him to take you to meet his Imam or spiritual leader of the community. Judging is very dangerous, because you painted a situation where you are a saint, perhaps you did something to tilt the boat.
In the earlier part of your relationship, you surely paint the picture of a muslim husband- loving and caring. For him to suddenly changes, theres a lot of issues to contend with.
He is a man to marry a xtn, to start with and the promise he made earlier is certainly not his to make. I mean can you make someone sign that he'd not make you eat your meal. If he sees you dying and the only remedy is for you to eat and he gave you food, can you call that a crime or breach?
From my experience about what xtn ladies do to their spouses -here in my arear- it is simply death. They go the length to assasinate their hubby just to have the kids to church. They call it salvation war.
If you are truly sincere, talk with him and resolve. If opting out is better, take that. The man and the woman shall come together and live as one. You are living as two minds now. It is a dangerous and divided union, which cannot work save if you want to continue in deceit. If you love him go his way, He's suppose to be the head. Help him to right if hes wrong but not question his authorities- if truly you are Godly and sincere

Answer 2

Well, you don't specifically state why he is now so cold to you. That's the first thing to determine of course. Has he changed in his interaction with other people or is it just you? Have you asked him? Perhaps both of you seeing a marriage counselor is your best option. Any stressful events like a job loss or change, new baby, relocation, or serious argument that may have triggered this? Has he met another woman? You say it was good for the first 6 months of marriage. However, you didn’t mention how long you were solidly dating prior to marriage so I don’t know the total duration that he was loving. From your discussion of religion I presume it's because of the religious differences? Perhaps he thought that after you were married you would convert? Was this clearly discussed prior to marriage? Perhaps some of his friends are pushing him to have you convert when it wasn’t a real concern of his earlier or he just realized it was important afterall. There is no reason why you can’t learn and discuss his religion more even if you are not an active member. Perhaps that will assist in bringing you closer?

Also from (http://sexeteria.blogspot.com/2006/02/monogamania-2-in-chemical-worldor.html): After about 2 to 3 years all of your "lust" chemicals fade out and all the "romantic bonding" chemicals continue to be released, assuming the couple is still having sex. But this is the stage where people "wake up" and realize their partner may not be as constantly enthralling as the "lust" chemicals made them think. The person him/herself hasn't changed, the chemicals that affect your drive toward them have changed.

Answer 3

It is not easy to marry a man and tell him is over after staying with him for almost 2 years, understand that in every marriage there are times that it seems really tough but it takes the afford of a woman to keep the marriage going. Choose his best of times and talk to him about how much you have missed all that have been happening when you people were newly married, because men are always busy for things that will keep the family and forget that the woman needs his time a little too.

Answer 4

well, i don't think being a muslim is the reason for him to be cold. something must have gone wrong in the relationship. another thing, he should not be pushing u to be a muslim or not, he married u as a christian so he knew that before marriage and he should not pressure you. you can only change your religion when you really feel like this is what you really want to believe.. many men just grow cold after marriage, they become bored. try talking to him and make him understand that islam is not about pushing people to become muslims, islam is about truly believing.. there's no need in becoming a muslim while you truly don't believe.. talk things over with him ,maybe something is just bothering him and you can get things back on track

Answer 5

I was very tempted to say "You shouldn't have done it" but that's not going to be much help.
You haven't mentioned if you have children? I,m sure you must be aware that he could take another wife as well as keeping you!
At least I hope you are aware.
I don't even know which part of the world you live in, but my honest advise is 'get rid' I just have a feeling that things will get worse, I have known only a few other faith or no faith Western women married to Muslims and all have ended in break up.
Sorry I cant really muster up a lot of sympathy , surely you must have known what his silly religion was all about before you married him?
GET RID!!

Answer 6

Hi, Sorry to hear about your current situation. However, just for your reference, if ur husband is a muslim, then he can not ignore u bcoz u r not a muslim.. since he was aware of it in advance. Believe me if he deliberatly hurts u no matter how stron a follower of islam he is he will be punished. b coz he has hurt a human being .. and unless u gorgive him Allah will not forgive him.. So forget the fact that he is ignoring u coz of any religion. There can b other reasons..u gotta find out if he is haviing some problems, that perhaps he is not sharing with u.

Have faith in God, try and find out the problem else, ask him directly the reason, he might not b good to u which he as it is, is not. So u may please ask him if its taking a toll on u.

Regards
Hansi

Answer 7

Yes, you should dump him. He knew you were of a different religion when he married you, and now because cant order you about and get his own way, he is punishing you. If he loved you, hun, he wouldnt behave like that. So many of these marriages break up because of religion, and their attitude to women; you are supposed to let your self be pushed around and ordered about and do as your told by the "man of the house"......different lifestyle, different planet even!!!!!!! If you give in on this, what will he demand next.?? We dont know how much life is allotted to us, so dont waste any more being made miserable by someone you trusted; get out of there and start again. Very best of luck to you.

Answer 8

you told him that you would not become Muslim..when a Muslim marry to a non Muslim, he or she must make sure that the one who non Muslim that he or she want marry with must first fall in love with Islam and become a Muslim before they got marry. Islam isn't something that you can play at. It is sinful for the Muslims to marry someone who not Muslim.When both of you are Muslim, with Allah blessing, you two will be together in heaven when the time had comes. Maybe he feel guilty to Allah because you as his wife not a Muslim...he couldn't treat you as your husband because of these huge differences between both of you.But still,he loves you so much and want to be with you till the end of time.....think about it..if you love your husband so much , try have a slow talk and try to fell in love with Islam....you will not going to regret it..good luck

Answer 9

By all the gods on this green Earth YES!!! Save yourself the heartache of being tied in matrimony to this man. Even being alone you will be ten million times better off. You love what he presented to you as himself, but he was lying those first six months if he's treating you so differently now. The best of luck to you, girl, my thoughts are with ya.

Answer 10

According to the Koran, a Muslim woman can only marry a Muslim man. A Muslim man can marry any woman who is: Muslim, christian or Jewish. Also according to he Koran, the non-Muslim woman can convert to Islam but she must not be coerced or forced into converting. If she does not convert, he must accept and respect her decision.

Your husband is not acting according to the teaching of his own religion.