Should I just be gay?
2006-07-09 22:07:33 · 32 answers · asked by crowdog1986 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Just be gay if you are gay, honey! You think God hates you--well, that's someone else's version of God, not the one you will find accepting you with open arms when you're ready to accept yourself fully for who you were born to be. Your family ought to be tarred and feathered. After all, your genetic makeup is theirs as well, and I bet you have some gay or closeted relatives out there. Tell your family to kiss your ***; there are support groups out there that can be so much better to you than your biological family, and I tell you from personal experience of finding friends to be better family than my flesh and blood relatives that it's painful but well worth it in the end to tell your family in no uncertain terms to stuff it if they don't like one little aspect of your character. Being gay does not define your total being--it is a part of the awesome guy you are. Good luck, babe.
2006-07-09 22:13:57 · answer #1 · answered by Princess Toadstoolie 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm going to address both issues separately.
First: God. God (Which you and I believe in, if others don't) doesn't hate you. He loves all people, it's the sins he hates and finds disappointing. On that point, I have found no biblical fact to say Homosexuality is a sin, the only thing I can find is that the act of sexual acts for the purpose of reproduction is wrong. If you have anything to prove otherwise, please feel free to share it.
Second: Your family. Do they make fun of you, or gays in general. If in general, they may not realize that Trey are offending someone close to them, They will always love you as a son, and they will learn to deal with your homosexuality. My family is the same way, they joke about gay people all the time, I know they mean no harm and are just having fun, but I can understand how it can hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable.
I am 20 years old and debt with the same problem myself. It's almost a mirror image. I was able to get through it, I did face a few issues with my family at first, but they are fine with it now. SO take comfort that you are not alone. Don't hide who you are, that's all we have in this world. You aren't less of a person for being gay, and have more courage then most by coming out and publicly facing your Friends, family, and church.
I hope this helps.
2006-07-10 03:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by theaterhanz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's becoming increasingly clear that being gay is not a choice you made it's how you were created, a genetic/biological difference in your brain. Recent research indicates that with each child a women has the chance for a child to be gay increases. Check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_gene for information on research on why males can be gay. God was the one that allowed your creation, gave you your soul…right? So I would say that he seems to be OK with it! It’s estimated that about 3% (not 10% as some gay groups promote) of the population is gay. The population of the US is almost 300 million. About 50% are men and 3% of that gives us a population of 4.5 million gay men (and women of course) and that’s just in the US. Seems to be that you are not alone, and that God made you gays reasonably common. So relax. Your problem is not with God it’s foolish people that distrust those that are not like them. Same problem if your were a differing religion or race or color or whatever. Sorry to hear that your family is causing you troubles, not nice at all! Maybe if they understood it’s not a choice and the other information in Wikipedia they might accept it and you more. Make a list of famous gay men and surprise your family with how many there are. You can find lists here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_famous_gay,_lesbian,_or_bisexual_people. Perhaps you all need to go together to a counselor that can help (make sure the counselor is Ok with gays). If they don’t want to maybe you should go to one to reduce your stress and learn good ways to deal with these issues. If your not bisexual, if you ‘know’ that you are gay, well then you are. You can’t fight that, just like a straight man can’t stop being interested in women or change how he looks at men. Sure you can hide it but only for so long and with increasing stress. Your in spot with church and the family, if you can’t work it out, well your 19 and can soon move to where you are more appreciated. Get a good education and you will have more choices of where to go. Incidentally, I am an atheist and a straight male. Good luck!
2006-07-09 23:24:39 · answer #3 · answered by underhillprop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God did not make you the way you are just to damn you to hell. Your particular religion might be too homophobic. Find out the true stance of your religion. It might be time to change it.
God gives each of us burdens to bear. He does not give us something we can't handle. Pray and ask for help.
You have to play with the hand you are dealt. The "schools" that claim to turn people straight don't work. You are born the way you are born and that is it.
By all means learn how to practice safe sex. Do not have sex with out a condom - at all!!!
I would read gay books and gay literature. Go to gay.com. There are soooo many coming out stories! See some gay films. You need information. Is there a gay lesbian community center in your area? Can you visit it? There are gay youth groups, gay coming out groups - you name it.
If your family does not yet know and they are that mean - I'd wait until you are on your own to tell them. You might consider moving to a metro area with a big gay population. You can relocate or just stay a few months or what ever.
2006-07-10 02:43:27 · answer #4 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God doesn't hate you. How many sermons have you heard where "The Shepherd loves all of his flock".
Your family may make light of it, because you haven't asserted who you are and how you feel. Their reaction will be much more sober - when they realise how serious you are about your sexuality.
If you are gay, you won't be able to change it. So you might as well be it. As to whether or not you actively pursue a gay relationship and the love that it contains, only you can decide.
I, personally, would advise against living a depressing solitary existence as a celibate gay virgin - just because of the Church's dictats about homosexuality.
I think God would want you to be able to rejoice in love, not live an empty existence, in His name.
If you read other questions in this section you'll see chapter and verse about Leviticus & St Paul's letter to the Romans. You'll see some hardline interpretations of it and some more moderate & rational ones.
However you decide to live your life, and whatever you do in it though, remember God loves you.
2006-07-09 23:54:10 · answer #5 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your family makes fun of that then yea... it's their problem, and God forgives people, that's why Jesus died and as long as you love someone it shouldn't matter what their gender is, as long as you love them and they love you, and if your family can't accept you for who you are then they might as well shun you, love is an emotion not to be judged or made fun of, and it says like a thousand time in any holy book that God loves all his creatures so stop caring what people say about what God does, what God does God does and you can't stop what other do or think about you, just forget that and live your life the way you want to live it, gay or straight it's no one Else's business or problem
2006-07-11 07:56:25 · answer #6 · answered by MusicNAnimeLova 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gay is not a choice. If you feel you are of a persuation to be able to have an intimate and serious relationship wiht either sex you are probably Bi. Either way you family is being mean out of fear and a lack understanding. You are out of your depth at your age to try to educate them about being gay but you can share in a serious conversation how much their comments hurt. Hopefully they love you enough to care. It may be helpful to seek out PFLAG for literature and guidance.
As far as God goes. God loves you. God want nothing more than for you to live in your truth, whatever that is. There are many people who claim to speek for God and they often get things wrong and end up spouting hate not love. Try going to a MCC or UCC church. There you will hear God's inclusive love message.
To find an MCC go to www.jesus.com
2006-07-10 02:56:33 · answer #7 · answered by mike g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...I'm straight and know it...but I know I was made this way. I'm sure you feel like you were made this way too. I think it s@cks that you feel like God hates you and that it's something you have to hide. Really, I mean, can you be straight if you wanted to? I know I couldn't be gay. I wouldn't be happy, it's not who I am. I'm sure that's the way it has to be for you too. I'm Catholic too....so my views are contradicting my faith. But, I don't judge you and you shouldn't be judged by others than the one almighty above. But, I have a hard time believing that God doesn't love you because you are gay. I have a hard time believing that your way of life sends you to hell. If you live your life right, if you have morals and values are intact, I think your sexual orientation will not keep you from heaven. Seriously....would you even want to go to heaven if they denied people who are gay? You know in your heart you are a good person....and there are a ton of others in your same shoes.
2006-07-10 00:47:01 · answer #8 · answered by highroller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure God doesn't hate you. There's nothing you can do against being gay. You can pretend you're straight and be unhappy for your whole life, and therefor you wouldn't be honest with other people nor with yourself , or you can be happy about what you are and not be afraid of telling people you're gay. remember it's their problem, not yours, they have to deal with it. Many times even ''homophobic'' or let's say conservative families change their views if one of their sons or daughters happen to be gay. Your family should love you for who you are, not for who you want to go to bed to, and nothing ever is going to change that fact. If you don't feel ready now for your coming out, maybe start talking about it with your close friends, and I'm sure they'll understand...many times the first impact shocks them a bit, but it's common afterall, especially guys might fear you have had a crush on them for a long time (people don't get being gay does not equal being slutty). I hope everything will be alright for you, good luck for everything and may you be happy....Syl
2006-07-10 02:03:55 · answer #9 · answered by Sylvia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, God does NOT hate you, Bible bashers do and they aren't really the children of God anyway, they are the spawn of Satan himself. Gays are Gods' chosen children, we are the angels, we are the saints, hell, we are the world......LOL
Ok, sorry for the smartass answer but some of the answers you've gotten just provoke my sarcasm.
To the question at hand, as I said you are not hated be God, you are exactly how he wants you. As for your family, remind them that Christ cherished all his children and admonished those who ridiculed others. "Do not point out the spec in anothers' eye without first removing it from your own."
As for "Should I just be gay?", if you are, then yes, without reservation. It will be difficult as Christians and other evildoers will try to tell you they know the mind of God. Consider this, do you harm others, do you wish harm on others, do you cause pain to others, do you judge others. If not, then you a good person, not perfect to be sure, but a good person. That is all God wants, it is enough for Him that you love your life and those in whom you love.
Be at peace with God because I can assure you He is a peace with you.
2006-07-10 05:19:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋