I used to work with a very nice man named Richard. He and his partner Tony are adopting a child. They had a hard time finding an orphanage here in the US that would allow a gay couple to adopt without charging an exorbitant sum of money, so they are working with an agency in China. The agency is working with 10 or so young women who are all due next month, so they will be going to China at the beginning of August to get the final paperwork in order and await the arrival of their son or daughter.
One of their friends is having a surprise baby shower for them before they leave, and I have been invited. At the bottom of the invitation it says "Queer Friendly Gifts Only, Please." What does this mean? I have tried contacting the hostess, but she is out of town on business and won't be back until Friday, and the shower is on Saturday. I certainly don't want to get an offensive gift, but I am unsure what "Queer Friendly" means. Any ideas?
2006-07-09 21:58:12 · 13 answers · asked by Bronwen 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
My standard baby shower gift is bibs and onesies and socks, etc, in yellow when the sex of the baby is unknown, along with bathtime supplies like a little bathtub and baby lotion and wash and shampoo. Are those appropriate?
2006-07-09 22:00:31 · update #1
The hostess may have added that so ward off anyone who would purchase a breast pump for these guys...which would be about the only thing I could think of that would be offensive.
Otherwise, I would say, don't purchase anything that says "Mommy loves me", or anything that can be taken as offensive since the parents are both male..
Also you may want to keep the colors of diaper bags and etc a more manly color instead of pastels for probably preference in style...
Good Question that I didn't really think about until now.. Thanks
2006-07-09 22:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by Craptacular Wonderment 6 · 7⤊ 1⤋
I am so impressed by all the wonderful answers I'm seeing so far! As a gay man I would not have thought anyone might bestow a breast pump or "Mommy Loves Me" clothing on a gay couple with a new baby, but I suppose it could happen. I think I would laugh my butt off! I question the rainbow or otherwise gay-themed gifts, though, as they might be seen as a political statement. I would suggest sticking to traditional baby gifts in gender-neutral colors. I think political baby gifts (who knew?) such as a bib with "Dubya" on it is in poor taste regardless of your sexual orientation.
2006-07-11 06:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by Speedo Inspector 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are talking about is fine
I would avoid both blue and pink -- we normally do. Get greens and yellows.
The idea is that things that are traditionally feminine or masculine would be inappropriate I think -- although --- I just saw a young couple in their 20s at p-town with three infants. They hired a surrogate mother, and apparently the one they selected as the father had very strong seed or something -- and they had blue on the two little boys and pink on the one little girl.
Reyn
2006-07-10 03:59:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not that big a deal, honey. The bibs and lotion are great.
What they really mean by "gay friendly gifts" is, like mentioned above....breast pumps, etc.
I don't think these guys want anything referencing "mother", basically.
I applaud your thoughtfulness in this situation, and I applaud you for being "gay friendly" yourself!
The world needs more loving people like you!!!!!
2006-07-10 01:18:28 · answer #4 · answered by Spencer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rainbow-colored baby clothes?
Seriously, I can't think of what you could possibly get for a baby shower gift that would be offensive to someone who was either gay or not. Baby stuff is baby stuff. I can't imagine what the hostess had in mind.
2006-07-09 22:02:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, what the card means is something that is meant for men to use on a child. obviously in this situation there will not be a natural mother or adopted mother available (not saying that one of the two doesnt play the mother role).
also this could mean dont give them shirts that say things like "mommy's little boy" or something like that, that would insult the couple ...
think of it this way >>> if you wouldnt give it to the couple dont give it to the child
2006-07-09 22:13:08 · answer #6 · answered by ancient_code05 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were my baby shower (heaven forbid) I would mean a lack of overtly religious gifts. But that's just me and my religion-phobia. I can't imagine what you could get for an infant that would be offensive.
2006-07-10 07:07:11 · answer #7 · answered by lcraesharbor 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your standard gift are fine. "gay friendly gifts" in this case would be not buying childrens books parenting books etc. that emphasize a family as mommy and daddy or define parenting roles by gender.
2006-07-10 02:45:43 · answer #8 · answered by mike g 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"queer friendly gift" in this instance would mean, NO breast pump or maternity bras and things like that.
i would think that your standard bib would be "safe", and just to be sure, i agree with the post-er above me, buy them rainbow coloured baby clothes, rainbow shaped teether etc.
good luck in "queer friendly gift" hunting!
regards
2006-07-10 01:05:40 · answer #9 · answered by Rainbow nation 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really means not to get like a bib that says "Dubya" or something. Just things that aren't offensive towards gays.
2006-07-09 23:53:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋