should I cheat on my wife?

Question

After 10+ years of being faithful to my wife i am asking myself should I cheat on her? Our sex life has gone from once a day, to maybe once a Month. I can handle once a week, anything less than that and I start feeling rejected, unloved and generaly just pissy and unhappy! I love my wife, and the prospect of cheating on her makes me very frustrated! I have asked her about why she isnt interested in sex anymore, she does the reverse phsycolgical BS at me, telling me its me not her. Its not me, I am having to masterbate to keep my sanity. I do not want to GIVE UP SEX! for the marraige, I have compromised on how much sex, I am at a loss. What do you think?

Answer 1

NO. Simple as that.. and you knew the answer before you asked.

1.Talk to her
2. Go to marriage counceling
3. Have her see a Dr.

Do any and all of the above... but do not just decide to cheat if you have any interest in keeping your marriage.

You'll get off.. but you'll lose your family.

Are they that disposable to you?

Answer 2

I really do understand how you must be feeling.
However, I don't recommend cheating if you can help it. That's never solved anything, and eventually you will probably get caught. Either someone you know will see you and tell your wife, or your mistress will tell your wife....or you will tell your wife because of your guilt.

The only thing I can say is you might try to suggest couples counseling to her, to see if you can get to the bottom of what is causing your wife's disinterest in the first place. If you have kids or she works a lot, it could be because she is really tired. In that case, you need to get in sync, and find out when she is most likely to be in the mood. Some women are night people and some women are morning people...and then there are women who just love afternoons. You also might try to talk to her to find out if you've done something sexually that is turning her off.

It could also be that she just has a low sex drive, in which case, you may have a real issue on your hands. I know it's not easy to walk away from a marriage esp when there may be children involved as well as other financial considerations. However, if you've tried all other avenues and nothing has worked then you may need to do exactly that.

In the meantime, if you should happen to slip out of frustration and give into temptation by cheating...don't make the mistake of telling her... even if you feel guilty afterwards. if you tell her, it will just make a bad situation even more miserable than what it already is. And if you reach that point to begin with, there's probably not much left to save anyways.

Good Luck~*

Answer 3

First of all, I don't think you or anyone else should throw away your marriage by cheating. Second, I think you two should talk about it MORE and compromise to make the both of you happy. Figure out WHY she doesn't want to have sex and help her out with whatever it is. Is she STRESSED? Help her with the cleaning or give her a 15 minute massage. NOT IN THE MOOD? Get her in the mood! Burn some candles and cook her a romantic dinner. Take a bath together... Is she ANGRY? Let her vent about anything and everything ... women usually just need to talk and be heard and have faith that once she's done talking, she'll feel a lot better. It's all about GIVING AND TAKING. If you want her to make love more often then you should ALSO do something to make HER happy and feel loved as well. Married women want to have sex! Just change what you're doing, find out what works, and DON'T GIVE UP! See a sex therapist if all else fails.

Answer 4

Do Not cheat on your wife. Do not masturbate.
Go to a marriage counsellor, no, not a sex concealer.
If you were happy with your wife and she was happy with you. The first thing to do is find out what changed.

Women have a long memories. It could lead back to a time when you joked about her but. Or maybe you compared her to an X rated actress. Perhaps she got the idea that you were immature about sex and she got turned off.

Did she have a baby during that time? Maybe she's tired at night and doesn't feel appreciated. When you get home from work offer to help her with the house. In fact don't even consider it helping. You live there also and so whatever she does is helping you also.

Don't watch x rated movies. Don't look at girlie magazines. Don't masturbate. Grow up and be a man. Do what you have to do to save your marriage. And yes, If your wife is not in the mood, You don't get to have sex.

You are not an animal. Animals don't have any sense of reason.
They don't know right or wrong. Don't go thinking "I'm only human" The word only should not be used in this context. You are human and created in the image and likeness of God.

From your post, My guess is that your wife feels used when you have sex with her because you want and need the sex so much that it doesn't matter to you if she is in the equation. Instead of sex. Try to win her over again. Keep in mind that girlie magazines, X rated shows and all that are an insult to her and validate that you just want sex and hot necessarily her.

It will take a lot of effort on your part to heal your relationship. But you don't have much of a choice. You see if you divorce, you have to change or repeat the same pattern. For a man sex starts in the bedroom. For a woman it starts when her man helps with the dishes and vacuuming. (without complaining).

Anyhow counselling costs a bunch, so pay attention.
Take your wife out to dinner and maybe dancing or a movie.
Treat her like a lady and she'll treat you like a man.

Or you can pay for a divorce. Two attorneys. Loose your house. And then pay for the rest of your life.

It is time for you to grow up and be responsible. You need to abstain until you can win her over again.

Good Luck,
God Bless You, ;-)

PS if you have a church go to it. Speak to the pastor. If you are Catholic go to Confession. You need to have things right with God in order to succeed in this.

Answer 5

I think that sex is a big part of any healthy relationship, personally i have cheated and he found out and we are back together but it is not the same he does not think its changed but i can tell in little things like obviosly his trust is gone but the way he looks and talks to me is different as well. Are you really prepared for all that comes with cheating like the sneaking around the looking over your shoulders the guilty concence and the hard task of living the double life belive me its not all fun and sex. If i were you i would mustard up all the courage i could find and sit down and lay all your cards on the table, tell her that you love her but that your a human being and you need physical contact as well its very unhealthy to not have sex, also maybe ask her if she has lost intrest because of the sex itself that happens maybe you can go spice it up a little and take a trip to the local sex shoppe, oh yeah this time when talking to her dont let her turn the s h i t around and dont leave untill its resolved one way or another... Hope things work out.

Answer 6

A relationship is more than sex. I realize that it is an important part of the marriage for you, but there are many other things that make a relationship. If you cheat, it's not going to make things better. Your wife, whom I'm assuming you love, will be left feeling hurt and betrayed. You might get sex, but it will be empty sex that has no meaning and you may find that you feel even worse after. Try couple's therapy. Maybe there is a physical reason she doesn't want to be sexual. Cheating isn't the answer.

Answer 7

If she's not realizing that it's what you need, you should maybe consider divorce. A healthy marriage requires a healthy sex life, and if you don't have that, maybe it's not meant to be. Also maybe think about what you may be doing whenever you have sex. If she does not enjoy it, or get off at all she is not going to want to have it frequently. Maybe treat her to a night that you know she will be in the mood, and make it all about her, and she will want to do it more often. Try to spark up the sex life that you can have with her before considering divorce. but definitely don't cheat!! You will just make the whole men cheating on their wives all of the time more real. Don't do it for the sake of the male race.

Answer 8

NO you should not cheat on your wife unless you want to be divorced rather quickly.
have you tried romancing her again like you did when you first got together?

have you got kids, as this could be why she is neglecting your needs. have you considered that IF she is at home with the kids while you are out at work say that she is too tired to service your needs. Remember raising kids is DAMED hard work. they need loads of attention, there not always little angels as you well know if you have ever seen shows like nanny 911 etc.

get the romance back in your lives women of a certain age still love to be wined and dined, showered with gifts and basically pampered in order to be able to service you.

maybe your not as attractive to her as you once were.

first thing to remember don't go around like you are entitled to sex as and when you feel like it. relationships take a lot of work to make them work. take a good long look at your own life and see what has changed over the last 10 years since you married her.

you asked her outright about your sex life thats nice, no wonder she had a go back at you. you never ask a woman you love direct questions about your sexlife thats a sure way to never get any again.

sit her down over an expensive meal out and ask her calmly where she thinks your relationship has gone wrong; and what she thinks the two of you need to do to salvage the relationship.
tell her you feel like you have been neglecting her needs around the home. she may apreciate that (i can't guarantee anything here)

you know by now what she likes and what she hates. so do a few nice things around the house a few bunches of flowers (yes cleche) but you know her better than i do.
use your brain and not your bals and salvage the marriage swallow a little pride and think about your wifes needs.
after a while i'm guessing the relationship got a little stale you stopped making a fuss about seeing her. just make her feel like she is your reason for living in a nice calm caring manner and keep at it and eventually your life should get back on track.

in the mean time remeber what your right hand is for and go love thyself if the wife will not.

Answer 9

First of all, don't cheat on your wife...you said you loved her! Next, seek a really good Christian counselor for both of you. THere may be a health reason why she isn't interested, or maybe you have children, and she's weary by the end of the day. But cheating on her will only make the problem worse for you especially, and then the element of trust will be gone, and hard to get back again. Just do yourself a favor, and don't look for the answer you want to hear, but look for the answer you need to hear!!

Answer 10

Try to have a serious talk with your wife and tell her how you feel but don't cheat after 10 years of marriage i don't think is worth it doing that. See what you guys can do to work it out remember sex is not the important thing in your life. Make it Work.

Answer 11

Hell yes go for it just be discrete so as not to hurt her any more than necessary, or maybe this is just what she wants so she can get out cheep, is it possible she is doing the cheating already hummm think about it. There is another option just out of the blue throw her on the bed rip off her clothes and take it then see if she would like to go out to dinner and do a little dancing, if its yes when you get home do it again be an animal but gentle too don't hurt her. Maybe some flowers