**are we ready to move in together?**?

Question

We have been together for over 3 years, but we are pretty young. We are both almost 23 and graduated from college in May. We have steady jobs, and plan on keeping our finances separate (except for splitting grocery bills, and stuff like that).

We have been sure of our plans for several months now, but now I feel nervous because our move-in date is coming up.

Also, I kind of feel anxious because I would like to be engaged, because I would feel more secure. But maybe this is because I watch too many wedding shows and see too many engagement ring advertisements...haha

I'm not sure what is the right thing in this situation because I think it's a little ridiculous to be engaged at 22/23, but I am a Christian and feel guilty for living together before marriage. I know I can't live without him, I just want some sort of guarantee that he feels our relationship is as permanent as I feel it is...

Please give me your honest advice, even if it's bad news!!!

**Thanks you guys....except the person who went nuts about planning to split the grocery bill!! haha.

Answer 1

I don't think you should feel guilty for living together before marriage; I think it is a wonderful way to find out what a person is really like... before you marry them.

It sounds like you really rather be enganged - have you broughten it up? If you two are moving in together after three years, being engaged first can give more commitment to the relationship and a willingness to work things out when problems occur.

*My recommendation would be get enganged, live together for a year, and then after that year is up, decide on a wedding date (in the next year or two) or decide to split.

Answer 2

Sure! If the marriage certificate has been signed then I say go for it! :-)

If NOT... NOPE! A true Christian cannot turn off and on his beliefs at their own convenience. You already know your would be doing the wrong thing..otherwise you wouldnt have asked the question.

You know that you want the security...and why?? Because you know only with that security is it blessed.

If this is the person you believe you want to spend the rest of your life with... and plan to have chidlren with someday..would you want to look your child in the eye and profess to be a Christian and then explain to little Johnny and Suzy..mommy and daddy shacked up for a while before married..but you dont do it because its a sin. Hmm..would put you in a two faced situation then..wouldnt it?

Please dont do it! Get married first. It sounds as if you both have started onto the right road of life..dont mess it up by shacking up. Start your life together in the right order.

Best wishes!

Answer 3

I'm 23 and I was planning on moving in with my bf of over 3 years but I decided againts it. I just wasn't ready to give up my own place and my freedom. I know I would have had freedom but it wouldn't have been the same. Take it for a test drive and be honest about what you're doing. Bring enough stuff to last a few weeks and live there, bring a few personal things too so it feels more like your place. Take more time if you're having second thoughts.

Answer 4

You feel nervous and anxious because "moving in together" is not a for sure thing, and you know it. In that scenario, there is always a back door open, no commitment, just a trial and error. It sounds like you have really put some serious dedication in your life with college, and a good job. Put it to good use, and when you are ready to marry, then plan the moving in....permanently. Don't be another chapter in someone elses book, write the book yourself, beginning to end!

Answer 5

Well, if you can't live without him than moving in together sounds like a good step, and as well, a commitment on his part! Jeez, how much more do you want at this point? Moving in together is like step three before engagement and then actual marriage. Take it easy. Try something new. Get a sublease or 6month lease if you want to give it a test run.

Answer 6

Your conscience is perpetuating the guilt and anxiety you feel. There are very few guarantees in life. My advice to you would be that you focus all of your attention on becoming a millionaire and wait until you are much older to make these life altering decisions. What if you get fat and ugly and you start nagging all the time?He is going to eventually want a younger ho. It's inevitable.You only have about 10-13 years left of being attractive, if indeed you are, so enjoy it and build wealth. good luck

Answer 7

Don't sweat the small stuff. I you guys are really in love it will all feel natural right away. In this day and age you shouldn't have to worry about living together first. It's a better decision financially. Quit watching so many of those shows too! Theres always something better on!

Answer 8

Even though you have been together for over three years it seems that you are not sure about the move at this time. This is a reason to wait, not to rush. Living together changes many little things in a romantic relatiionships and it is irreversible!
So if you hesitate even a little bit, dont do it...

Answer 9

Hi I too am christian but I don't believe god gave us our individuality if he didn't want us to be different. I don't think if you lived together for a bit is sinning at all having sex without commitment is worse so test the water see if your ready or not if your love is genuine and pure nothing on earth will keep you apart. P.S. communicate talk talk and be honest above all, it will work out.

Answer 10

Think of moving in together as a trial run before marriage. You will get to see the true person for who he is and get to see the good the bad and the ugly. Its better to make the mistake of moving in together then to make the mistake of getting engaged then married then DIVORCED!!!

Answer 11

agree with spacecowboy. But you can try it out. Some argue that living together before marriage has its advantages. You'll know the person better, and see their bad and good stuffs, like habits, cleanliness and all. And you can judge better if he's the one you rally want to marry. Same for him.