my ex gf, )a single mother) have been broken up for 2 months. Weve gone through this about 4 times.. and i said enough finally. I have not contacted her, for i respect myself, and we cut it off after every time it started because i cant deal with her shady attitude. if she doesnt want to be true, and respect me.. why does she call to still have sex and want to hang all over me for a couple days? i am NOT GOING TO CALL HER BACK!I am doing a good job in getting over her. ...... i just want to know why she does it.??? This cycle, repetitvely?
Thanks!
2006-07-09 19:16:57 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's hard to give you a good reason without knowing your relationship, but I'm guessing that you were there to save her over and over again. You were the stable and supportive one in the relationship while she was all over the place with constant drama.
Chances are that she's learned to deal with her feelings toward you in this way. You've been her sole source of support for a long time, and now she is forced to deal with life on her own she isn't happy. Further, while she might have the best intentions of moving on, she's addicted to the feeling of being in the relationship with you, even if she's decided in her heart that it's time to break things off and move on with her life.
There are several different explanations for this. First of all, love a chemical reaction. Studies have shown that our feeling of 'love' is chemicaly based, with the initial stages of passion created by a rush of dopamine released in your brain. Dopamine, consequently, is the same chemical released when/if you do cocaine. And, there are different stages of love that humans progress through, all secreting a different combinations of chemicals along the way. If she can't break her addiction to you, she might be looking for a hit (pardon the pun), of you. Anti-depressants can help ease her off the 'addiction' of love she still harbors. Everything that occurs in her moment of need probably is based upon these feelings. Whatever she says or does is driven by thirst, nothing more.
Since you have proven to her that you are weak (you got back together with her 4 times), she believes that she can get you to crack.
Stay away. Don't pick up the phone. Don't be friends. Don't acknowledge her. Like any addiction, if you stay away from it for long enough it starts to fade. I wish you, and her, the best of luck.
2006-07-09 19:34:10 · answer #1 · answered by rattwagon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I was with a guy for 1 1/2 years. I broke up with him but occasionally wanted to have sex with him still because I wasn't ready to sleep with anyone else and I was obviously horny. I got used to have sex on a regular basis but then suddenly all the love, affection, attention and last but not least, the sex is gone. Its hard to adjust to. But giving in just prolongs the break up and makes it harder to get over that person. If you know you don't have a future together then stay strong so you can move on.
2006-07-10 02:29:37 · answer #2 · answered by UlickNme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie.. it's called a "Booty Call". It's where you don't really have much interest in the actual person.... but as long as the booty stays available you're sure as heck going to make use of it.
I'd tell her to kiss off. She doesn't care about you.. and you'll just feel worse when she tosses you over for a newer set of buns in the future.
Really.. it's not worth it if your feelings are still involved. It would be different if it was a mutual friends-with-benefits kind of thing. But it's not.. and you're going to get burned if you don't save your pride and show her the door.
2006-07-10 02:23:28 · answer #3 · answered by TruthTeller 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just need to have someone around. Some just like to play little power games and see if they can get the other person to respond, simply because they can. If she just wants occasional sex, there are plenty of guys who will readily volunteer. You just happen to be safe because she knows you.
Do as you stated and don't call her back unless it's to tell her not to call or contact you again. Then ignore any attempt to contact you. Get on with your life and find someone more stable.
2006-07-10 02:25:54 · answer #4 · answered by Dale P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
single mom with low self esteem. figures she cant find anyone else. she hopes to change and become a better person. she thinks if she gives you sex you will take her back. have you tried advising her that she needs theropy. Tell her to start theropy and in a month or two give you a call and go out and see if she has changed for the better. Also it is not good for he child to have a man who is in out of its life. Or maybe shes is just horny and you are good in bed. The question is do you take her up on these sex offers, do you care for her. If you really do not care for her then stop having sex and using her. Tell her if she countinues to call you that you will no choice but get a restraining order. But if you do like her tell her to thy conseling.
2006-07-10 02:23:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously she is saying that even though the relationship doesn't work the sex is satisfying to her. You are pleasing her in the bedroom and that part of it she is separating from the break up. She is a single mom so she probably has a lot of stress and wants some good sex to relax her, so she thinks of you because she enjoys it with you. (I can't believe you are complaining about this)
2006-07-10 02:22:24 · answer #6 · answered by TiaLee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are a good lover, definitely.
And because you have allowed her access to your manhood, in a cycle, repetitively.
And I agree, you are NOT GOING TO CALL HER BACK!
You don't need a mindf**k on top of all this sex.
Onward now, to the women you will enjoy having sex with. Without the bad aftertaste.
2006-07-10 02:27:05 · answer #7 · answered by carolynator 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does this because you let her.
You are not doing a good job of letting her know that it's over.
You only want it to be over right after the sex right, because you keep letting her come over and get in bed with you, right?
Don't waste your time telling us what you're going to do. JUST DO IT, she'll get the message.
2006-07-10 02:24:02 · answer #8 · answered by Peach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you let her talk into going back with her 4 times before. Resolve that this time is IT and totally sever contact with her.
2006-07-10 02:22:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to become her horse or not? If not better you do nothing with her. Forget about having sex. This is about relationship not about sex only.
Think, if she has a new boy freind, I do not think so she will call nor having sex again with you.
Right now you only become her horse only. No more. So better you forget it.
2006-07-10 02:23:37 · answer #10 · answered by The Nine'ers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋