I need to know, what is more selfish; living in solitary, or having a family?

Question

Do you think that a person is more selfish if they choose to live alone and only care for themselves?

Or is it more selfish, to bring new people into a world that is so currupt for your own gain?

Answer 1

It depends. Living a solitary life does not necessarily mean selfishness. Or neither does having a family necessarily selfish. If you do it for selfish reasons, then IMHO they are about equal.

Answer 2

I think living alone is more selfish but some need to be alone for a reason whether mental, emotional or physical. Those aren't being selfish.

Bringing new people into the world isn't necessarily selfish either since procreation is natural to humans and can't be avoided without abstinence.

I know having a family made me more selfless instead of selfish.

Answer 3

It's not selfish to choose to live alone especially if you cannot take care of any of the people you live with. Like 16 year olds who get pregnant. They can't take care of their baby: they're only 16.

While the world is corrupt, there's still so much beauty in it. Sometimes, I really hate the world. Other times, I'm so glad to be alive, to explore all these places, to meet all of the people I meet, to get to know myself. I guess I'm an optimist.

It's the way you look at it.

Plus, I don't think that people are thinking about what they can gain from moving it/marrying someone or having a baby. Way back when, probably, but not now so much.

Answer 4

I think it's such a negative connotation for single people that they're deemed selfish just for being alone by choice.
Personally, people stay single because they're happy with the way their lives are heading & are secure enough to be self-sufficient. Long as they don't pose a threat to themselves or the people around them, I don't see an issue in that.
As those who choose to have families, they must, surely made family planning & decided that having children is the missing link in their lives to fully complete it.
Overall, I feel it's selfish when teenagers practise unsafe s e x, get pregnant & then decide to either abandon the child or get an abortion. They should know what the consequences were before giving in to their urges.

Answer 5

That is a good question. I personally believe that we should live as we are happy and content. Due to so many personality differences you'll never get agreement on your answer so just know that if you choose to live alone and care for yourself that does not indicate you are selfish for sure!! You have the thought to know how hard it is to take care of a family today and you are using your head, much like others who just have babies and the babies suffer because the parents can't take care of them emotionally or financially. Do what makes you happy and seek friends who think for themselves like you do. You are so right about our world being so corrupt; I read a lot of questions on this site that are from people who obviously are living that "corrupt life," and have no clue about civility. Bless you for thinking about how to make the world a better place, because that's what you are doing. Do you own thing and feel good about it.

Answer 6

Neither is really selfish. If I could, I would live like a reclusive hermit somewhere on my family farm. It has nothing to with selfishness; I just do not like people.

On the other hand, some people are the opposite of me and have an urge to always be surrounded by people, so they have a family to fill that need. It may sound selfish but it is just an uncontrollable urge to never be alone.

Answer 7

You seem like a very thoughtful person and a lucky to have a caring husband as well. It seems like, your mother-in-law has some issues, which I'm sure have been culturally developed. The best thing to do would be to move out and live on your own because you guys are a young family and need to spend time with each other. It seems like maybe you guys are continuing to live there because of your low income. Since you guys are a small family you can consider living in a nice basement apartment, which are very affordable. However, if you do start to live on your own, make sure you always make time to visit his and your own family on a regular basis, just to show that you do care. Usually if one goes on a vacation there are still expected to pay rent for that time however, being family maybe your mother in law is being too demanding. But is she insists on giving her rent you should do as such because a scholar once said if family does business with each other they should do so as strangers. InshaAllah everything will turn out okay.

Answer 8

People may not agree with me,but I think having a family is more selfish,I am no longer able ,but if I could I would not bring a child into this world the way it is.I is in such a mess if I had a child how could I die in peace,knowing that there may be no jobs ,no way to get medical care(even though its there but you can`t afford it)sorry It`s just to bad.

Answer 9

It doesn't have anything to do with selfishness. Some people would like to have children, but haven't had the opportunity. Other's simply don't want children because they don't think that being parents is the right choice for them. Lastly, many people have children by accident and never wanted them. Selfishness is not involved...it is more selfish for your to assume that people are being selfish.

Answer 10

There is nothing wrong in both.
If the underlying "guilt complex" for this question is because one feels that s/he is not allowing procreation to happen then one need not worry. By design human beings are designed for procreation. It will happen. If one chooses to live alone it is perfectly fine. But there will not be many people who would like to live like that. By nature and sometimes by societal pressure, people live together and produce. But society is not much bothered if one doesn't have a child.
On a question like this, one can take a side in debate and list pros and cons for his/her side but finally its truth that people are different and will have different preferences. But one need not worry that world will come to and end. So no need to worry and enjoy life :)

Coming to next point of selfishness.
Human beings are by nature designed to be selfish. That is why they live alone, live in family and soceity (so that their needs are fulfilled). Lot can be written here but I will restrict myself with this much :)