Divorce/Protective Order?

Question

My ex (we arent divorced *yet*) was very abusive to me. 2 Years ago he vanished with my children and I just found them 4 days ago and they tell me the most horrid stories about things he/his g/f did and things they have seen her doing drugs in the bathroom and abusing them physically. I just got them back finally and we got to my apt this morning. He had dropped them off at his mothers in MS. He is calling me with threats. Do you think the state would help me file for a divorce and grant me a Protective Order from him coming around us until the divorce is final. Im scared to death and am not sure what to do. Suggestions are welcome! Thanks.

I suppose that is what I meant or some way to prevent him from "kidnapping" them again. I am just so overwhelmed atm. Thanks for the suggestion :)

OK now there are people doubting my situation. Try and explain your last 5 years in 1000 words :(

We are not divorced. The police would not help me because there was no custody arrangements made .. we arent divorced, we arent legally seperated. Social Services wouldnt help me.. because I had NO idea where they were or that they were being abused and if I had said they were and they werent I would be in trouble for false reporting. That is what SS in Mo told me. I have lived here in IN since Oct 31 of 2004 and I finally found out they were at his mothers after I found her name in an internet search thingie and called the number praying it was her. She told me everything thats been going on and on the way home from MS to IN my 3 children have told me the rest.

So no .. this isnt a "story"

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone. Today I filed a protective order through the womens shelter in my town they were amazing and so supportive and nice! I also applied for pro bono legal work for the divorce if that doesnt go through the shelter said they would help me file but that they cant represent me. The ball is rolling at least. That in itself makes me feel better. :)

Answer 1

Yes the state will help you in filing for a order of protection and everything you need. I know in Indiana they also help you pay for the divorce if you can't afford it. They will help you to do one at a reduced cost. As far as the order of protection goes you will qualify for a emergency order which will be effective for like a month then you will have to go back to court for a longer one. My only concern is yes the order of protection will help give you peace of mind. But when you are dealing with someone like this they do not care what a little piece of paper says. They will find a way to get to you. I am in no way trying to scare you I just dont want you to have a false sense of security. Your best option would be to go into a domestic violence shelter. They will go to court with you and make sure your kids and you are safe. Move so he does not know how to find you. Just remember to be safe and know you cannot trust him no matter what he tells you.
Please be safe and take care.
Good Luck

Answer 2

Go to the court house, tell them what has happened and get an Order of Protection! That is the only way of keeping him from taking off with them legally, or so I was told when I was in a situation kind of like that. Then call the Department of Human Services and they can probably tell you how to contact Legal Aid, they usually have a waiting list, so you need to do this ASAP! Good Luck

Answer 3

Yes, get on order of protection. Change your phone number. File for divorce. Most importantly move and don't tell anyone you don't have to where you moved to. Make sure your close friends and family and your work doesn't give out any information. When going to work and school go a different times, different routes. Don't let the kids stand at the bus stop everyday. You need to run, fight legally and protect your children. I will be praying for you.

Answer 4

Kidnapping is a crime, so is death threats!!! Go to the police immediately!!! Of course they will help you!! Call the Center for Missing and Exploited Children as well, they might be able to help you keep them from being kidnapped again.
Call the Department of Children and Families (or whatever the government agency is in your area). They can help.
Look in the yellow pages for battered women's shelters. Even if you don't need shelter, they have lots of resourses for you, as well as the support you need from people who have gone through this too.
You all need professional therapy, don't forget, I know you have a lot going right now, but keep that in mind.
Good luck and my prayers are with you and your kids.

Answer 5

Make sure you call Child Protective Services as well, even though they are not with him anymore, there needs to be a record of this for future use.

And yes, the state will help you with a Protective Order. In Texas, they are court-ordered and only upheld by the courts. So, if he came banging on your door and you called the cops, they couldn't do anything because you'd have to take it to the court. This is why you should get a Restraining Order too. They can be enforced by the cops.

Answer 6

wasn't the kidnapping reported to the police ? They were gone for 2 years! Once you found out where they were - why wasn't the police called? Why are you wanting the State to help you get a divorce--- that should of been done 2 years ago ---

This story sounds like a story ----

Answer 7

i've been though the same situation . no the law want do nothin unless you have prove. he if calls .record all messages. then you can file charges on him, if he theatens you. you can file terroristic threats and and they will throw him in jail.thats when you can get a restraining order on him for you and the kids.but until then dont let him have the kids at all. theres nithing him are the law can do about it. but it is an unsafe enviroment for them to be in.the judge is the only persom that can make you let him see those kids.but until then gather as much prove you can so you can prove he is an unfit father. and make sure when you go to court.you ask for supervised visits. you need to go to your local library and ask to they carry divorce pappers.you can fill it out yourself and file it at your local courthouse for a small fee.then contact the attorny generals office for child support arrangements.

Answer 8

I do not know if it varies state to state but I was in california and got into a fight with my husband and he got abusive,the neighbors called the police they took him to jail and in ca, if you have a domestic dispute they automatically call cps,and a lady from cps came to my house questioned my kids and me and told me to get a protective order or else they would intervein and remove my kids I was freakin out! I never thought he would hurt the kids and was reluctant on getting one. After they pulled my 9 year old out of class to talk I did what they told me to do,In fear of them thinking I did not care if they see my husband get mean with me anyways after he got out of jail he moved and now wants to divorce me mainly because there is a 3 year protective order on him. He cannot come within 100 yards of me or my kids. I felt bad at first but THANK GOD I WENT AHESD AND GOT ONE, because he is threatening to try for custody of the kids and all kinds of b.s. As long as that restraining order is in effect he has no rights to them at all. So yea tell the court all the bad things he did to you and the kids and your fears,and i am sure you will get one.The only thing is that if he had the balls to take your kids and ran what is a piece of paper gona do??? Whatever you do if he breaks that order by just driving by or anything you have got to call the police. you may want to contact a domestic violence advocate in your city they can get someone to help with paper work and stuff,good luck

Answer 9

this man is a pathetic piece of ****. anyone to threaten a childs mother or to do horrible things in front of them or to them. Your dang right the courts will help you. you need to immediatly make a police report. next get a recorder. record his threats. go get an injunction against him and file for immediate custody of the children. tell the courts he has been threatening. also let the children talk to social services. they will help you put a injunction against him protecting you and the kids. good luck.

Answer 10

Report what the kids say to authorities so he has no chance of visitation. And yes you need a protective order although if hes really crazy that mat not stop him, maybe look into a way to protect yourself like a gun w/ permit of course, or a tazer! I would move if I were you! good luck and God bless you and your children, protect them and yourself however you have to.