It all started almost 3 years ago he came home said he didnt love me anymore so he left me. I took him back after 2 months. then he tells me that he slept with my best friend while we were seperated. i gave him yet again another chance. then i find out he got her pregnant but he didnt know i knew that. i wanted him to tell me but he didnt. so about six months ago i had had enough of the dishonesty. Also, we have children together. He says that he cheated because he thought i did because someone told him i did and i never slept with anyone else but him since we got together. I alos believe there were others but he denis those.
2006-07-09 17:25:31 · 91 answers · asked by Sexy Mama 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no way...theres better men out there that your worthy of...and whats with your best friend..she slept with your exhusband..wow isnt that great
2006-07-09 17:29:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Enough is enough! He doesn't love anyone but himself! Save yourself and your children from this. You deserve and can have better. I have a close friend that went and is going though the same thing. It's not worth it! He's only upset that he got caught. He'd rather have to pay child support for one child, versus however many children you and he have together. It's sad but true. My BF's husband still won't tell her the whole truth! It's really hard on their children, because they are old enough to know what going on and they don't understand why. He has the nerve to think that she should just be over it and he should be forgiven. WHAT AN ***! Don't give in because of finances, or the children... it never works! What happens when the children are grown and gone. Who wants to let their children see that's how marriage should be? or worse that they should be treated and/or treat others that way? You know in your heart what the best thing to do is. Good Luck and Best Wishes!
2006-07-23 13:41:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness. Everyone on here is gonna say you are stupid and to leave but I know it is harder than that. Yes you do need to leave though. I understand that you have children together and broken familys aren't the best but from the looks of things you and your husband under the same roof with those children is nothing but chaos and pain. Babe, he's gonna keep hurting you. That will NEVER change. And those other girls you suspect he's been with... I can garuntee he has. I stayed with a cheater for four years. She was my first love I still love her and I admit I might not ever love someone as much as I did her but ya know what? It's not worth all that pain. I was also scared I wouldn't find someone that could love me like she did, but ya know what I found a ton of people that were even sweeter than she was! I didn't even think it was possible.
It sounds like you have some bad people in your life. Find a new group of friends. Move. Go to Church. Take better care of yourself so you can raise your self esteem. Take a night off being a mom and go to the bar. Get all pretty and see what it's like to live life again. Your children deserve to see their mother happy and that will never happen if you stay with him. Even if you don't think you can leave him for good, leave for at least a week to see how it is. Eventually when you do leave for good it will be easier. That's kinda what I had to do. Honey you can find a man that will treat you the way you deserve and even beyond your expectations. Even one to show attention to the kids when your soon to be X is to busy screwin little homewreckers. There is so much more to life than what you are living in. Get out of that nasty situation and away from that triffling lifestyle. Leave those people in it to rot cause you my dear, are better than all that. I can see that you are truly heartbrocken and I feel your pain but now you have to do something about it.
2006-07-09 17:43:49 · answer #3 · answered by Dream Bree 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's see - he
1-Told you he didn't love you anymore
2-Left you
3-Slept with your best friend (I don't care if you were broken up or not-that is not OK)
4-got her pregnant and didn't tell you
5-doesn't trust you or have any communication with you since when he thought that you cheated the FIRST thing he should have done was talk to you about it, not just assume it to be truth and act on that.
Why don't you do this. Re-read your question and comments and pretend that it is someone else asking you, and after your read it think of what you would say to that person. Sometimes when you look at it through other people's eyes, or when it's someone else going through it, it is much easier to see clearly.
Personally, I would dump somebody just for 1 or those things above, but all 5? Ouch. Don't be his doormat and don't teach your children that it is OK for men to completely disrespect women and treat them poorly. No matter how young your kids are they see what is going on and they are taking in all of it.
2006-07-09 17:37:29 · answer #4 · answered by Fran33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly with a big fat No! He was sleeping with your so called best friend before he left you. You tried to be overly fair regarding this matter, but there's a limit now. Hold your head up, take care of you and your kids and divorce looks like it's around the corner. I bet he marry's that woman he got pregnate. He gives poor excuses to condone his guilt and he's a liar. He knows what kind of family woman you are. Maybe his conscience and guilt bothered him a little bit when he looked at your children together. There's no sense in taking him back. Unless, you want to share, agree/allow him to having a 2nd wife, They both lusted after each other and they should be together. As, you found out seperation didn't work, divorce does. Your too nice and descent to have this loser/creep for a husband. Mr Right will be there for you in the near future. Good Luck!
2006-07-22 12:58:50 · answer #5 · answered by ianthra2010 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off , I just recently learned from experience that once a cheater always a cheater. I was with my ex for 12 years and gave him chance after chance and he never changed. He tried to use that same excuse that he heard that i slept with some other guys so that's why he did what he did. The fact of the matter is that he just is trying to justify what he did to make him feel better about what he did to you because everyone know that two wrong don't make a right. Either he should have left or if he really wants to be with you he should have tried to resolve it between you two and not with your best friend. I know that theirs kids involved but your not going to make their life easier by constantly taking your husband back because you and your kids will be miserable from the back and forth. If your unhappy this will affect your kids more than not having their dad around everyday.
2006-07-21 20:02:48 · answer #6 · answered by chocolatechick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, the 2 of you need counseling if you want to remain together. Your vows said for better or for worse but there needs to be some mending of feelings and some improved communication before the 2 of you try to move forward. I know that counseling seems to be the first thing people mention but a third party (and not your best friend) needs to help you sort through the problem and make a visible path for your future. Don't give up. But don't fall into the same patterns either.
2006-07-09 17:33:33 · answer #7 · answered by Chiky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.
Get rid of him.
Talk to an attorney and also discuss this with parents or clergy or anyone close to you that you trust. This dishonesty will continue. He will play you this way as long as you will let him.
I spent 15 years in a marriage with a woman who was the same way until I realized it wasn't going to change. The longer I let her get away with it the worse it got.
Move on with your life. There are better men out there (like me, only I'm taken and probably way too old for you if I weren't.) Find a good support group. Take care of your kids.
When a spouse lies you can't depend on anything they say to be true. Move on.
2006-07-23 17:06:35 · answer #8 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater. The reason why he says you cheated is cause he is guilty. Life is short enjoy it. There is someone else out there that will treat you with respect. You can hang out there if you want and put you and your kids through.Mental and emotional abuse is just as bad as physical,but the bruises don't go away.Don't ask any questions who cares what he Denys and what is the truth. The truth is he is hurting you and the children. Just leave and take care of the kids and yourself. No one will love you and respect you until you love and respect yourself. Good luck hope things get better
2006-07-09 17:39:45 · answer #9 · answered by h0w U liK3 m3 n0w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being scared to be without him. Fixed the things that keep you with him then leave him. Like get a good job lose some weight save some money. Get a make over. Find a good laywer so you can get child support. Also he is lying about thinking you were cheating. He knows you don't have nobody but him remember he has been with your best friend. Also that so called friend could be lying too about him getting her pregnant. don't believe them. Change and move on.
2006-07-21 17:17:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he want another chance?
If so, and you think you want to give this another go, I would recommend couples counseling. There are some serious issues regarding trust and respect going on here.
Obviously he wasn't being true to his feelings when he said he didn't love you, because he wanted to get back together after two months. He probably feared you would leave him if he told you about the pregnancy.
Despite these issues, there is a chance your relationship could still work, if you believe you can overcome his cheating on you.
2006-07-09 17:33:09 · answer #11 · answered by blueskies7890 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋