What's the point in sex before marriage? Can't you just wait?

Question

If you are with a person like for 2 years or something and they want to have sex, if they love that much they should respect your decision to wait...right? Then why everytime I turn around I see young kids like 13 or 14 having sex? What's the damn point!!!! And whoever has something negative to say you can just save your energy typing!

Answer 1

Marriage is SUPPOSED to be for the rest of your life. Sex, of course wil be a huge part of it. How can you expect to satisfy , and more importantly excite a partner for the rest of your life when you have absolutely no sexual experience whatsoever?

Answer 2

I agree that people that young should not be having sex. Its sad when you see a 12 year old in the maternity ward giving birth. Babies having babies, right?

But what if you believe marriage is just a ceremony? If you don't believe in the religion part of being joined before god or whatever then there is really no point in the legality. If you are mature enough and of legal age, and you are both ready then I see no point in waiting for a preist to say "you may now kiss the bride"... What if you are 30 and you have been with a guy for 4 years...and getting married just isn't in your plans just yet. Do you have to wait to have sex? Or is 30 old enough to make that decision?

"and whoever has something negative to say you can just save your energy" ??? Are you just posting this question to voice your own opinion? Theres no point in asking a question if you aren't open to the answers...

Answer 3

Some people, like myself, do not believe that marriage is necessary before sexual relations can be initiated. That the only thing requird for sex is for two people to love each other so deeply that they want to create a physical bond as well as an emotional bond.

When two people love each other why do they need permission to make love? Are two consenting adults incapible of making that decision together? Are they incapible of making that choice without a religious or political organization stepping in and telling them what to do? I don't think so. And any person that believes that isn't the person I am meant to spend my life with.

And the fact is (pushing aside morality for a split-second), the a ct of sex does feel good. That's why you have kids at the age of 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 experimenting with sex. It does feel good. I'm not saying that these kids are in love, nor that they should be doing it at all, but that they are trying to do something they view as enjoyable.

But you are right when you say that if the person really loved you, they'd be willing to wait until you were ready. If Marriage is what your morality requires for you to be capible of physically giving yourself to your partner then they should be able to respect that bountdry. If they can't, then they don't really love you.

I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with waiting until you're married to have sex, I'm only saying the the same belief you hold dear is not viewed as necessary in the belief systems of everyone else.

Answer 4

If you have waited dating for two years, you could wait until marriage. The thing is most people dont wait that long. I dont think you have to be a virgin when you get married unless that is important to you. In that case you should wait no matter what. I dont believe however that 13-14 year olds should be having sex. Usually little girls who do that have been abused or have a bad relationship with their parents and need attention (all you kiddies can say its not true but it is) For boys its all in the hormones.
What it all comes down too is if your old enough you need to make the decision that you can live with. And dont let anybody pressure you.

Answer 5

Well first off it’s something that everyone wants and it a lot of fun.
Second it’s a common denominator, regardless of how badly two people get along they can always be brought so close by sex.
Also, another important thing you probably didn’t consider is the belief that sex before marriage is a good things is something that people have slowly learned is not always true. It’s a fact based on outdated and contradictory religious principles that are easy to fall into because so many other people believe it. We’ve evolved; people have learned a long time ago that just because someone says something doesn’t mean you have to believe it or even listen.

Answer 6

I agree with your original point, "if they love that much they should respect your decision to wait..."

If a person loves you then the will respect your decision, bottom line no provisos of any kind.

That being said; what's the point in waiting. If two people have consensual sex in a responsible manner it is a great thing!

As for young kids, I doubt many of them have the experience to have sex in a responsible manner. Not to say they don't just that ultimately they're likely unqualified to make a good judgement call as far as SHOULD they have sex with a person and therefore simply should not.

Answer 7

Well let me just say I wish I would have limited the number of sex partners I have had in the past. As far as waiting I think nothing is wrong with it I think that if that were to happen there would be a lot more sustained marriages. However, since "We" (society including myself) have started having sex before marriage often times we are able to determine what we like and dislike sexually from our experiences which allows us to decide what "We" would like to settle down and marry! As opposed to someone who is celibate wouldn't know what to expect or if the sex was bad to expect any better because they don't know any better! Or maybe when they got married the person they'd marry would fulfill them however it is disappointing when you have been sexually active and you get a small package, or someone who doesn't know how to work it and everything else to that effect!

Answer 8

yes, i think they should respect your decision to wait if they really love you. As far as 13 or 14 year olds having sex, they're just really horny and now live in a culture that tells them its ok to have sex and indeed expected and kids will actually be made fun of for being a virgin. Also, kids that age are sure that they're adults now, and they want to prove that they are, and feel that they have the right and that they should explore all of their adulthood, and that includes their sexuality, sex is just one more thing saying your an adult, like drinking alcohol. But also just like alcohol, or smoking , or doing drugs, sex is attractive not only just because of all the messages being sent our way, but also because it's something we're told we SHOULDN'T do and that we're NOT ALLOWED to do, and so it's that much more desireable.

Answer 9

If you have to ask...

There are many bad things about sex before marriage, this is one example...

A 9 year old just gave birth at the hospital here in town. *or maybe just was pregnant, dont know if they let it go to term or not honestly.

if I got someone pregnant at 9 and then they at 9 and then again.. I could have been a grandpa at 18 and great grandpa at 27.

As it stands....

Sex before marraige happens because people are impaitient.. and well... I am one of those people.

And well... It feels really nice..

And well.... there is a point during it... when they smile at you... everything bad in the world dissapears.

I think irresponsible sex before marriage is the bad thing, or maybe I really am an impatient sexaholic... But the reality is, it will never stop.

Answer 10

whether you decide to have sex or not before marriage is based on your morals and beliefs, but if you are in a relationship and have told your partner beforehand about your decision to wait then they should respect your decision, if they dont then they are not the right person for you because anybody who loves you will respect your choices and feel that you are worth waiting for, but alot of young kids are having sex now because they feel the need to fit in with friends who are already experienced or just because of everyday peer pressure which may tell them that being a virgin or not having any experience sexual wise is not normal...

Answer 11

What is the point in waiting until your married? Honestly, sex is important in a relationship and if you aren't sexually compatible to this person you are married to you will have problems in your marriage. I'm not saying you should run out and have sex with everyone you meet, but if your are in a 2 year relationship and very seriously committed what is the problem? I think rushing into marriage to have sex is much worse than premarital sex.