My boyfriend and I have been living together in my mom's house until we can save money for an apartment. We've been living here for a year and a half. All of a sudden, he packed up and left and moved to his parents'. He's not acting like his normal sweet self. He feels like he has to choose between me and his family. His family doesn't like me. He acts really mean around them, but really sweet with me. I am so depressed. I can't function without him. I've been crying everyday and he gets upset when he hears me cry. He said I have to find myself first, then he will come back. When he's there, he is a completely different person. He doesn't go to work and he doesn't call me. He is better off here. What should I do? How do I get him to move back? Please don't tell me to break up with him....that's not an option. I need serious answers please.
2006-07-09 17:00:39 · 12 answers · asked by Damon ♥ Elena 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
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2006-07-09 17:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mentioned that you already know some of what's going on in his mind - the decision of choosing tween you and his parents. Reading between the lines I believe that prior to him moving out, it was preceded by some very tense and disagreeable conversation between the two of you. He said alot. But you don't accept what he said. You feel that it can't be you and it must be that he's just temporarily affected by irrational and groundless thoughts. He doesn't see it that way though and he said so. I think you see where I'm going with this. Something needs to change. The relationship will not survive without something happening to change the tension. It is the immovable object meeting the irresistable force. The breakup option may not be on your mind, but it's already going through his mind....and since he's the one that seems to be doing the escaping, I believe you're job is going to be difficult.
2006-07-09 17:55:45 · answer #2 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is so two-faced, then why is breaking up not an option? You have to think to yourself is he really as amazing as you make him out to be. Are you in love with him, or are you in love with the idea of someone caring for you? It sounds like the 2 of you are on different levels right now, maybe some time apart would be what is best.
2006-07-09 17:03:56 · answer #3 · answered by bigsnowtoday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation and it's very hard to choose between family and a relationship. He's trying to make his family happy so he doesn't have conflict. I would try to fix the problem with his family if possible and then ask him what he meant by you need to find yourself. And you really need to express how much this is hurting you. If he really loves you he'll come back. If he doesn't trust me you'll get through it. It will take time but hearts do heal.
2006-07-09 17:12:17 · answer #4 · answered by pankey26 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't cry to get him back, that shows a weakness, actually he needs to realize if you are important enough to him or not, and what will happen in the future if his family doesn't ever like you. If you have a future together you need to be a part of each others family, it seems important to him. talk with him to see what all the issues are and you need to get in with the family, and find out why his family doesnt like you, maybe its your habits, maybe you need to be more considerate, whatever the case is you need to work on your issues, dont ask him to choose between his family and you, maybe his family doesnt know you well enough or like you enough, and if his family doesnt like you then he wont either. find out what his future plans are and how to get there and see if you have the same views or not, I hope this helps
2006-07-09 17:08:31 · answer #5 · answered by Butter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are much too needy and you are driving him away. He's right that you need to find yourself first. You can't expect anyone to be a source of total support - not a parent, boyfriend, husband, child-- you have to find a way to make a life for yourself. Do you work or go to school? Make that your priority and maybe eventually he will see that you have matured. Or maybe you won't need him as badly anymore.
2006-07-09 17:07:41 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't break up with him. Find out what he means by finding your self then talk to him about how you can do it...
Tell him how you fell about how he changes and mainly what i'm saying is just plain tlak to him and find out what he wants and try to make a compermise on fixing things and on how you guys can get back together.
2006-07-09 17:06:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is depressed! Maybe you two could go talk to a mental health professional together. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-07-09 17:02:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to me on yahoo messenger niceguyx77@yahoo.com or on AOL instant messenger blackacex2
I really feel for you, but it's hard to offer advice without having feedback
2006-07-09 17:02:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesnt sound like he loves you too much. why is breaking up not an option. but if youre really depressed, vicodin helps me get throught it.
2006-07-09 17:11:19 · answer #10 · answered by mizzle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋