becuase they were a much better person and they never did anything to hurt anyone, whereas you make so many mistakes. huge mistakes. that hurt everyone.
and everything is so hard..and life just hurts..but this other person loved life no matter what, but it just screwed him over in the end. and you are left watching. wondering, how someone so innocent got ripped away from his life, never to return again. but then other ppl are so far from innocent are still walking and breathing and dreaming? and living?
2006-07-09 16:21:51 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
yes, but we all are innocent and guilty. none are perfect although when death happens we tend to idolize that person more, forgeting their imperfections. things happen the way they do, no one to blame, just part of life.
you will always think of them but be careful not to put them on such a pedistel that you forget they were human. can cause a lot of therapy bills later. remember them as they was, go on with life. time heals and no one knows how much time it takes.
you are still here and still valuable to someone, remember that.
2006-07-09 16:30:40 · answer #1 · answered by midnightrose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my dear pet, you must be hurting so much right now. One of my best friends Karol died during my senior year in high school and I felt the same way. It is just so unfair, she had everything going for her, beauty, brains, personality, and above all...she was the nicest person I've ever met. And she was just taken away, without warning....I got a phone call one day and suddenly she was just gone. You spend a lot of time crying, a lot of time asking why, and a lot of time wishing it was you instead. It's painful, and it seems very lonely...I know. One day though, you'll be washing your car, or reading a book, or taking a walk or something and suddenly, you'll feel your friend. You'll feel him in your heart, in your mind, and you may even swear that he whispered in your ear or brushed an invisible hand over your head, but you will feel him. It won't make it stop hurting, but it will help you to heal. It will hurt for a long time, I lost my friend almost 5 years ago and I still go to visit her gravesite, and just sit and talk to her. Remember what made you love him, remember why he was so good, never ever forget. He's not really gone unless you forget, you can still talk to him, and because you know him, you can almost answer for him. It sounds like your friend was a very good person, and while he was alive he really lived, he was happy. Am I right? Follow in that, try to live as he would have. You now realize how fragile life is, so make it worth your while, if you are going to be alive then really live. He did. Im afraid that no matter how many responses you get from this it isn't going to make it stop hurting, but remember that you've got an opprotunity to grow from the hurt. Like you said, people who aren't as good as our friends were are still walking around being unkind and unsavoury characters and there isn't anything we can do about that, but we can change the kind of person we are, and do our best to preserve our friends memories. We can keep them alive in our hearts and in our actions, and we can begin to heal. Be the change darling, my thoughts are with you in this time of pain, and I know you'll come through it okay. Like Karol always said, Peace starts in the heart.
2006-07-09 23:42:24 · answer #2 · answered by the blue olive 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are describing is one of the natural steps in the process of grieving -- a feeling of anger and outrage that someone so good is gone, and other people that are so mean and miserable are still walking around.
This feeling is something you have to work through,on the way to healing yourself.
There are some very good books on the subject, by the way, that might help you a great deal at this time. Your pastor could likely help you in this respect. Or your local bookstore. Or a Christian bookstore (you don't have to be a church goer to find good stuff in a Christian bookstore)
There are several things you can do to help work through your feelings. Remember your friend, remember the things you loved about him, the things that made him unique and special. Then think of something you could do in his name, that would help to carry on some of his wonderful loving, innocent spirit. The very best way to help yourself, is by helping others, and that means volunteering your time to help people who really need your help. Hospitals, seniors homes, special needs centers, are all crying for volunteers. If you don't want to work with people, check out the SPCA. There are lots of animals that need loving care and attention. And whatever you decide to do, dedicate it to your friend. It will help you to know that you are doing something he would approve of.
I know it's very hard for you right now, and all I can do is offer my sympathy. I hope these suggestions will help you get through your grief.
2006-07-09 23:31:37 · answer #3 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have any faith, or religion, then you might have heard this quote, "Only the good die young". Don't be so down on yourself. Everyone is inherently good, some accomplish more than others.
Take heart in your friend/family member. Honor them by being a better person, and making better choices in life.
I read this poem recently, and the one line that hit me the most was: We are all were we are exactly supposed to be.
Focus on the fact that you are still alive, and make a difference. You have my sympathies for your loss, one point in time, we all lose that real special person in our lives.
2006-07-09 23:29:07 · answer #4 · answered by jackie48083 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put it this way, i've lost 7 close friends in the past 2 years. i actually baried 4 friends this year alone. i've never experienced so much death before. you can't blame yourself for the path that was destined for him/her. you still have to go on your own path and live life to the fullest. life is way too short and i've learned that. it definitely totally sucks that good people are taken from us. and that same question always stands out...WHY? why him/her?but you just have to appreciate every breathing moment in life. but to answer your question....there are definitely times i wonder why i'm still here. it's pretty sad in a way. but i'm a firm believer in things happen for a reason. i hoped i helped you out. take care of yourself and just remember that your loved ones who have passed are watching over you. :)
2006-07-09 23:36:39 · answer #5 · answered by KrisT12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes hunni , i think about my son everyday...He was 11 days old when he passed away from SIDS 11/17/05-11/28/05. He should never have been taken from us. He was created out of love and was wanted. It hurts when I see people just wasting their lives, and my little one never had the chance to even know what one was. I would have gladly given up my life for either of my kids. I have a 5yr old daughter also, who wonders why her Hunter was taken to Heaven by the angels.....
2006-07-09 23:26:26 · answer #6 · answered by ROCKER CHICK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will grow up someday and you will learn that death comes for everyone. I lost a son when he was 2 months old. I do have other children that depended on my ability to survive. My ability to raise them. When you find your calling in life you will find that dwelling on a death is for losers, and you will get on with your life. Just make the best of it as that person would have wanted you to.
2006-07-09 23:28:05 · answer #7 · answered by Joseph L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, my dad died when i was almost 2. i have made many mistakes since then. although i didnt really no him and dont remember all that much i feel that he was a better person.really i should have died bcus i ended up with a broken neck and a broken leg. i wish that he would have lived and my mom dad and me all lived together. but now he is living happilly with god watching over us.
2006-07-09 23:31:16 · answer #8 · answered by Wanderlust 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my best friend died I wasn't talking to him because of something someone told me he said. Turned out it wasn't true, but I didn't know that till after, so when he tried to talk to me that night I ignored him, so he went home. He died about half an hr. later. That was 15yrs ago and I have been racked with guilt ever since.
2006-07-09 23:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by Tzipor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes my wife died 5 years ago ,i will always think of the happy things we have done,every time i get close to someone now, i still think she is here and i would be running on her,she was every thing to me do wish it would of been me ,she died from cancer at 51,she was older then me.now im 50 and lonely with no one
2006-07-09 23:32:09 · answer #10 · answered by tay3r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋